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  #1  
May 11th, 2009, 05:52 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 299
Well I am new to these boards. We just found out today that we lost our little one at 10w 6d. I've cried alot, but it doesn't seem totally real yet. They aren't going to do a D and C because they think all will pass on it's own. I am barely cramping and bleeding less than a period. I think this is terrible but I almost wish it was more blood and pain, so it would feel more real. Is that weird?

I'm upset because I feel a bit like I let my husband down. I know it's not my fault, I did everything right, but I can't help but feel that way. We'll try again in three months, which is what the doctor advised.

So while I am not happy to be here, I am happy to be a part of a place with people that understand! Thanks for listening!
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  #2  
May 11th, 2009, 06:59 PM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Bossier City, LA
Posts: 5,060
I am so sorry for your loss. We all know how you feel and it is normal. i hated my self after my loss and felt like my body was mean and playing an awful joke on me. I had a d&c so I do not know much about a natural m/c but I am sure there are many here that do.

check out this board

Natural Miscarriage Experiences - JustMommies Message Boards

it has the natural m/c experiences on it
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  #3  
May 11th, 2009, 07:32 PM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,853
I am so sorry you had to join here but welcome.

Please don't blame yourself. Your husband is I am sure going through his own feelings and emotions but he doesn't think "what did she do." Speaking from talks with my own husband, it is much more likely he is thinking "why us!" Also, just like with pregnancy, he might be at a loss for what he can do for you while you are going through this. Rely on him, he will be there for you.

My heart goes out to you. Let us know if you need to vent, ask questions, anything. This really is a wonderful place.
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  #4  
May 11th, 2009, 09:26 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,405
Im so sorry to welcome you here as well. Your DDC has been through alot today. I felt that sense of betrayel from this last pregnancy as well. I felt my body was broken and that I let my DH down as well. Funny thing is that several days later he confessed that he felt it was his fault. We all want to blame something, somone, but these are one of those things that have no one to blame. Im so sorry for all of this....
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  #5  
May 12th, 2009, 08:59 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
My husband also sort of felt like it was his fault. Men grieve so differently than women do.


I felt like my body had betrayed me too. I think it's normal for us to feel that way. After all, the womb is supposed to be a "safe" place, right?

Anyway, if you would like your angel to be added to our memorial list, please just add your info to the sticky.

Also, I'm so sorry.
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  #6  
May 12th, 2009, 09:47 AM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
Posts: 7,100
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Sad to be welcoming yet another mommy to the board. I am glad you found us...no one understands better than we do.
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  #7  
May 12th, 2009, 11:59 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754

I'm so sorry you have to join us, but welcome. I had 2 natural m/c's and I don't think that you are crazy for wanting it to be more painful to make it feel more real. With both of mine, I kept holding on to the last shred of hope until I had serious cramping and bleeding. It wasn't until after that I was finally able to let go and start to grieve. It's hard, but know that you aren't to blame. I hope that you and your husband both get the closure you need...and a BFP as soon as you start TTC
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  #8  
May 12th, 2009, 01:45 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your DH are in my T&P.

*HUGS*
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