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Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
May 12th, 2009, 05:24 AM
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 467
I lost my baby Lilly at 13 and a half weeks due to 'body stalk abnormalities' and today is nearly 11 weeks after and 1 TTC cycle. I got my AF today and I have been hysterical all day long.

I rang mym mum this morning, crying hysterically and when I spoke to her this afternoon she said I didn't realise how heart breaking it was to hear her baby girl crying and in so much pain and she couldn't do anything about it.

The thing is that she doesnt get is I was there and I think about the pain my baby girl was in every day and every second and I never got any other experience except being told of how horrible Lilly's life was. And I ended that, in a way I dont even believe in but wasnt given a choic due to my life being at risk.

I know it is so so stupid but I just thought, maybe, just maybe I would be pregnant because life isnt meant to be like this.

I cant believe how lost I feel.
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Our Lilly 1/03/09
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  #2  
May 12th, 2009, 07:43 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,415
Iam so sorry your going through this pain right now. The first AF when your TTC is so hard. We all wish we could just magically wake up after our losses with a new lo in there. Please know that while your little Lilly was inside you, she did not feel pain. Your body protected her from that. Give your body a little more time to get things on track for you, soon you will get your BFP. We are here for you to vent to this out, and I pray you start healing soon.
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Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #3  
May 12th, 2009, 09:03 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
When I got AF after I had started TTC, I was devastated too. I think it's normal. It's another stab in the gut, since you shouldn't HAVE to be trying to get pregnant again. I'm so sorry about your sweet Lilly. If you want her added to our memorial list, just add your information to the sticky.

I hope you can find some comfort here. Just know that what your feeling is very normal in these circumstances.
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  #4  
May 12th, 2009, 11:50 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754

I'm so sorry! I still get upset when AF shows, even though I'm not TTC. I'm glad that your mama is there for you and sympathetic. I'll pray that you get your BFP soon. It isn't fair, life shouldn't be like this, but hopefully you get a very sticky bean very soon!
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  #5  
May 12th, 2009, 01:48 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I'm so sorry for your loss, honey. *HUGS*
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