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Lost confidence?


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
May 15th, 2009, 10:05 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Has anyone else lost confidence in themselves after the loss? I am normally a happy, confident person but realized today that I lost confidence in myself, not just in relation to having a baby but in everyday life. I went to the store today and realized I have been walking with my head down and don't make eye contact with others. I feel shy speaking to people. Very out of character for me.
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #2  
May 15th, 2009, 10:20 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 299
I don't know if it's that I have lost confidence or I am just still reveling in my own pool of self pity. But I can relate. I do the same thing!
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  #3  
May 15th, 2009, 12:02 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I'm not sure if I've lost confidence, my my self-esteem sure has tanked. I beat myself up about the littlest things. Like last night I realized I was late sending in the mortgage (i've been pretty absent-minded since the loss) and I got so angry at myself I almost had to take a Valium.
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  #4  
May 15th, 2009, 04:48 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
(((HUGS)))

I had a whole essay written but can't bring myself to post it. I will say I thought for years everyone saw my failure to give birth to a healthy living child, but truth is no one but me saw it that way.
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  #5  
May 15th, 2009, 06:01 PM
Aimz
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Posts: n/a
I wish I had the still had confidence I had before last summer when I loss my pregnancy at 6.5 weeks. Something changed in me when everything happened. For months I pretended that I was the same old me. But that wasn't true I was lost and frustrated and mad at myself. Wondering if why it wasn't easy for me like everyone i know, why did it have to be the first time we got pregnant. I lost a piece of the innocent part of me.

We are now TTC now after almost a year of waiting. I feel like the joy has been taken out of it. Last month was our first cycle trying and I found myself in a sense of panic most of the time. I wish it was different everyday.

I know what your going through, it's one step at a time and it will get better. I promise
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  #6  
May 15th, 2009, 07:39 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I really love you ladies! Reading your stories and words of encouragement always helps me.... even if it is just little steps. For the past couple of hours I actually feel a little bit of happiness, a little bit of the person I was a month ago. It feels good, I miss the person I was. It is like walking through a dark tunnel and I see a couple of rays of light at the end there. I wish I could walk faster to get to them.

Thanks for all of your help - I appreciate all of you so much.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #7  
May 16th, 2009, 10:12 AM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
Posts: 7,100
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I was terribly depressed after my loss and felt like a complete failure.
I remember looking back on all the things that I NEVER finished, all the things I planned to do and didn't along wiht my loss. It was awful b/c I just looked at them all as failures. I felt like everyone was looking at me like I was a loser who could finish or complete anything. Yet, I was really the only one who saw all those "unfinished" projects. Mainly it was the mounting depression.
I remember wanting to quit my job and go back to college to finish my degree. I wan'ted to pull out all my crafts and master each and everyone of them. I wanted to do this and take care of that. It became overwhelming and then even more depressing.

Finally, I came to terms with it and started looking at all the things I've done. I did take a while but I finally came out of it.
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  #8  
May 16th, 2009, 11:07 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Shiela, you pretty much summed up what I have been feeling.... and I have so much to do, my house is such a mess, my life is not organized, there is so much I need to do but the depression keeps taking over.

Looking forward to the days I don't feel like this anymore.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 17th, 2009, 08:14 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754

Reading all of your posts has been enlightening for me! While I am sorry that all of you feel this way, it makes me realize that I'm not alone. My confidence/self-worth has tanked since last summer. I feel like I can't accomplish much anymore and that I don't deserve much. It's almost as though, in my mind, so much of who I am has been caught up in having a baby. And it is entirely internal. No one else cares, but to me, it seems like the only important thing left in life. And now that I feel like that possibility has been taking away from me, I can't really remember what to do with myself.
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