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Just can't shake this feeling..


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
May 21st, 2009, 02:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
Hi Ladies,

It has been 8 weeks since my miscarriage. I was actually doing really well with it all emotionally but this past week I just can't shake this feeling of...vulnerability I guess. I will be at work and suddenly tears will start and I have to try to pull it together. I'll be sitting at home at night and just feel like crying. This morning I got up and already I feel sad. I'm not usually like this. I suppose the feelings are amplified because I was allowed to start ttc again the cycle just gone (my 2nd cycle post m/c) - and I didn't get pregnant. I KNOW that I shouldn't have expected that I would, but I guess I was just really hopeful and excited that I might and it gave me something to look forward to.

My friend has also announced her pregnancy and her due date is 6 weeks behind what mine 'would' have been. I was really happy for them but later I quietly shed a few tears for myself because I felt like I should have been further ahead but instead I'm back to square 1.

Thanks for listening. I just need to get out of the dumps I know but at the moment it seems to be easier said than done!
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  #2  
May 21st, 2009, 05:35 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
My opinion is you are pushing yourself too hard to "feel better". What we went through is so terribly hard. Just because it was 8 weeks ago for you doesn't mean that you have to bounce back and be happy all the time. I have moments when I just lay in bed, hug my blankets and cry. I am learning that I have to allow myself to feel whatever I am feeling in order to heal.

I am sorry you are having such a bad day and hope it gets better for you. I wish I could do or say something to take your pain away. I understand, It sucks.
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
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Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #3  
May 21st, 2009, 06:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
Thanks Missy. It's funny because when I look back and REALLY think about it, I think gee 8 weeks, that is nothing. Often it seems like it must have happened so long ago because life is so fast paced and nothing is slowing down for me! I really think it's just the appearance of af that's gotten me down in the dumps at the moment. Anyway at least it is Friday - having my dh home on the weekend will help.
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  #4  
May 21st, 2009, 08:11 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,306
I can so relate Lenore, my loss was almost 2months ago too and it feels like I have never been pregnant. I can barely remember being pregnant these days, seems like it was sooooo long ago. But my love handles are a constant reminder that, yes, I was pregnant. I hope your day ends on a better note.
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  #5  
May 21st, 2009, 09:27 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
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Hey Lenore, I hope you feel better soon but if you don't that is ok too! You have us here. Trust me, I vent a lot around here!

Lori - I was thinking this morning that I hardly remember what it was like just a month ago when I was so sick with m/s and complaining to BF that I was so sick and emotional ect... I can remember all sorts of other feelings from the same timeframe. Do you think its our brains way of protecting us from the pain? That we block it all out?

And Yup, I still have that 10 lbs to lose!
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #6  
May 21st, 2009, 10:11 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I've found that the only thing that eventually allows me to feel 'better' is to let myself feel whatever emotions I need to. If I feel sad, I let myself feel sad. If I feel happy, I let myself feel that without any guilt. Losing your baby is something that never goes away, and neither do the emotions that go with it.

Thinking of you.
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  #7  
May 22nd, 2009, 12:46 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
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The other ladies said it all so well, that I don't have much to add, but I wanted to say that I am thinking of you and sending hugs your way!
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  #8  
May 23rd, 2009, 04:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
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Thanks ladies. I am feeling much better (with it being the weekend helps too...).

to anyone needing one...
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  #9  
May 23rd, 2009, 05:09 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
I'll certainly take a hug!

My emotions and feelings are all pretty raw right now. I just lost my babe a week ago.... we weren't TTC or had any clue I was pregnant until the day that I lost my baby...

I sort of feel guilty for that, not that we weren't TTC, but that I actually didn't know I was pregnant. I've been pregnant 3 times before and knew each of those times... how could I not have expected it this time?
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  #10  
May 23rd, 2009, 07:50 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Lenore - I'm glad you're feeling better. *HUGS*

Twinkle - It must be so hard to not have any positive memories of your pregnancy. I'm so sorry. I understand why you feel guilty, but please know that it wasn't your fault. *HUGS*
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  #11  
May 24th, 2009, 01:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle View Post
I'll certainly take a hug!

My emotions and feelings are all pretty raw right now. I just lost my babe a week ago.... we weren't TTC or had any clue I was pregnant until the day that I lost my baby...

I sort of feel guilty for that, not that we weren't TTC, but that I actually didn't know I was pregnant. I've been pregnant 3 times before and knew each of those times... how could I not have expected it this time?
Twinkle for me it was never having seen my baby's heartbeat, when I knew that (from measurements) the doctor estimated the baby had died just a few days before and if I'd had an earlier appt I might have seen it. So for you to not have known you were pregnant at all, and to have had the joy and the shock/sorrow all at once would have been very hard.

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