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Miscarriage # 3


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
May 27th, 2009, 07:11 AM
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I never knew this section was here.

Anyways, I just lost my third baby on May 9th. I am actually laying here from my D & C. This is my first time having a D & C and it is not going too well. I had it done on Thursday the 21st and I am still in pain. The bleeding is lighter today then it was yesterday.

Well, I am so afraid to try to have children again. I do not have any children of my own. Neither does my husband. We do have a 4 year old little boy that we have custody of because he was taken away by his mom by DFCS. But coming March of next year we may lose him. That is going to be just as hard if so.

The doctors want to start testing on June 5th. Have any of you ever went through testing? How many miscarriages have you had? What kind of tests were done and how were the outcome of the results?

I am so afraid they are going to tell me that they didn't find anything. That is going to kill me and I honestly don't think I could ever try again.
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  #2  
May 27th, 2009, 08:24 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Iam so sorry for your loss(s). How devestating to here about your little boy who might be taken away too. I wish I had the answers you are so desperately looking for, but I can say your very welcome here. I hope your doctors find the reason for your m/c's and most of the time it can be fixed fairly easly. Eventually the fear of another m/c will go away and you will be under the care of a dr who will watch you closely and help you to bring a beautiful little baby into this world. I pray it is just bad luck for you and your time is next to have this baby.

Let yourself talk about it here and we will be hear to listen.
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  #3  
May 27th, 2009, 09:51 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I am so sorry for your losses. My mom had multiple losses, for her it was due to advanced age. I went through genetic and non-genetic testing when my son was stillborn due to multiple congenital abnormalities. I was terrified that they wouldn't find anything - if it was totally random, I couldn't do anything about it, and it might happen again. The genetic tests have all come back save for one that's not finished yet. They also did a kidney ultrasound for both me AND my husband (my son's biggest defect was in his kidneys) and those came back normal too. They also tested for blood clotting disorders because my sister and uncle have them. Those were also normal.

For me, negative test results actually told us what happened. I was diagnosed with pre-existing Type 2 diabetes at 17 weeks. The doctors suspected that the diabetes is what made my son so sick, and when everything else came back normal, they knew that's what the problem was. So I have worked very hard to get that under control, and now that it is under control, were are trying again. It's scary, but I feel better with a diagnosis.

I am SURE you'll get a diagnosis. I've known a lot of women in your position, on this board and in real life, and I don't remember a single one that didn't eventually get an answer. In fact, most of my friends got the same answer - blood clotting disorders.

I have a lot of faith in doctors - I'm sure they will get to the bottom of this.
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  #4  
May 27th, 2009, 10:21 AM
LIZZYI's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry for your losses. I have had one miscarriage so they didn't do any testing on me. I hope you get the answers you need.
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  #5  
May 27th, 2009, 11:37 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I'm sorry for your loss. I've had some testing, all of it has come back clear for me. My first loss was genetic from their father, so at least I have answers for them. My 2nd loss was due to birth control use.

HUGS... go for the testing, it can at least give you some closure.
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  #6  
May 27th, 2009, 02:53 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry for your losses, I never had any testing done. I am glad you found us - the ladies here are such great support.
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  #7  
May 27th, 2009, 03:01 PM
Sincat's Avatar Super Mommy
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Sorry for your losses. I had a D&C about 2 months ago (you can read about it under the D&C Experiences forum). It was the worst experience of my life. This was my 1st m/c so they didn't really do any testing. I hope you get some answers soon.
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  #8  
May 27th, 2009, 10:01 PM
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I'm so sorry for your losses. If the pain gets really bad you should consider calling your doc. I have two sons and this 3rd pregnancy was my first m/c. I ended up with really bad cramping/pain about 5 days post miscarriage. I was put on antibiotics in case of infection.

I bled for two weeks after the d&c. I haven't been through any testing. My ob said that I had two runs on the board (two children) so he thought this was just bad luck. He did not see any point in doing testing on either me or the foetus. I accepted this because I trust his judgment and I guess it's necessary for me to believe this was just bad luck and won't happen again. I truly hope you get some answers and something that will give you some faith to try again. And i hope you get to keep your 4yo too.

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  #9  
May 28th, 2009, 10:51 AM
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Thank you everyone! It really helps to have people to talk to that understand. This miscarriage was the first one that my mother really was able to experience with me and she never imagined how much it really took out of me both mentally and physically. I do have a hard time even imagining me getting pregnant again. I am at the point where I feel I will never be able to have a successful pregnancy. I am so afraid of ultrasounds alone. Since everyone I have had has been horrible news. Everytime they mention doing one the words that I have heard too many times ring in my head. "The baby is 7 weeks and there is no heartbeat." I just don't think I will be able to take a miscarriage # 4.

Thank you all again.
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  #10  
May 28th, 2009, 01:50 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I didn't notice that all of your m/c have been at 7 weeks. That's a pattern, and it may mean something to a doctor. There might be a clear solution. My sister is a genetic counselor, and she says they look for things like that.
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  #11  
May 29th, 2009, 05:24 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for your losses, honey.

I understand how scary and confusing going through tests can be. At my followup appointment after the D&C, the OB told me that she was certain that I had PCOS. I was in shock. After a couple rounds of blood tests for that, as well as for hypothyroidism, she reluctantly concluded that I have neither. Based on what is going on with my body each cycle, there may or may not be something wrong with me that could affect my ability to carry a healthy pregnancy in the future. I'm not sure where to go from here.

Pathology testing was also done, and it came back normal. I was expecting genetic testing as well, but I was told that that is not done in Canada.

Please know that you can go through multiple losses and never find answers, but still go on to have healthy children. I know this because that's what happened to my sister. She had 4 early losses and one stillbirth at 6 months before her daughter and son arrived.

I don't mean to scare you or imply that you will never get answers or will go through more losses. I wanted to share my sister's story just in case it gives you a small glimmer of hope, no matter the outcome of your tests.

If the pain gets any worse or you are concerned about what is going on with your body, please call your doctor. After the D&C, I had atleast a week of sharp pain in my uterus that made it difficult to be active or even sit up, and at one point, I went to get tested for an infection. I understand how scary the physical healing from a D&C can be. Please KUP.

I hope that your son is able to stay with you, and that you get some answers. You and your family are in my T&P.
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  #12  
May 29th, 2009, 10:16 PM
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Oh my gosh so sorry for your loss. I hope things go well next March and you don't have to go through that too. You are in a good place to find support and comfort. D&C's are surgery so it might take a bit to recover. I have not had any testing done. I have only had one M/C though and that is probably why. My insurance only covers when you get to a certain amount of them I believe. I hope the testing goes well and you get some answers.
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  #13  
May 29th, 2009, 10:58 PM
starrsgirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry for your loss. I have had 2 miscarriages myself. I'm currently wainting for a TON of testing to come back. I seriously gave about 12 vials of blood. They are testing me for a lot of clotting issues and thyroid and some hormone I think. I should have the results back anyday and will post the list of what they tested if I can. If anything comes back positive, I will get referred to the high risk OB/gyn in town and start an appropriate preventative regimen.
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  #14  
May 30th, 2009, 03:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha12 View Post
Thank you everyone! It really helps to have people to talk to that understand. This miscarriage was the first one that my mother really was able to experience with me and she never imagined how much it really took out of me both mentally and physically. I do have a hard time even imagining me getting pregnant again. I am at the point where I feel I will never be able to have a successful pregnancy. I am so afraid of ultrasounds alone. Since everyone I have had has been horrible news. Everytime they mention doing one the words that I have heard too many times ring in my head. "The baby is 7 weeks and there is no heartbeat." I just don't think I will be able to take a miscarriage # 4.

Thank you all again.
I really want to be pregnant again but I dread going to my first appt, sitting in the same office, lying on the same bed, talking to the same ob, waiting for my u/s... because I cannot stand to hear the words again - "This doesn't look good. I can't find a heartbeat". This was my first miscarriage and my first bad pregnancy related appointment ever (I have two sons), and now I'm petrified.

So for you to be scared to try again after 3 miscarriages is perfectly understandable. I just hope you can get some answers so that you feel okay to try again and have a positive outcome because you deserve it.

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