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Must.stop.reading.ddc!!!!!!!


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
May 27th, 2009, 12:13 PM
going4it's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: baltimore md
Posts: 637
uuuuuuuugh! I am making myself insane!!!! I found out on friday that my pregnancy is not viable. We had been in a 10 day holding pattern just to confirm (first sono at 7 wks showed it was 1 week behind. a sono 10 days later (on friday) confirmed that the baby had not grown, so therefore didn't make it past 6 wks). This was a last chance pregnancy for us. I am 42 my dh is 45. It was quite a shock to find out we were expecting and took us all of about 5 minutes to get excited about it. This also happened to us last summer, in August.
I just feel "cut off" from pregnancy now. My dh doesn't want us to go through this again, so he now wants to be "careful". I have no idea what I want. What I wanted was one of these pregnancies to be good and give us that 2nd baby that we wanted so badly.....
I just can't keep myself out of the ddc (december) and it kills me every time I go in there! My ticker should be moving up, I should be getting bigger, having morning sickness all those good things........and instead, I'm bleeding my baby out. (m/c started monday night).
This was NOT how this was supposed to turn out. But can someone stop me from looking at my ddc and being jealous?
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  #2  
May 27th, 2009, 01:22 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Hi Honey,

Why give up just because you are 42? I have 2 losses, am 40 and trying again. If having a baby is what you and DH want don't let age discourage you. I have learned over the past few months that alot of the 40+ crowd is having babies!

I am sorry for your losses. Mine are fresh and I understand your pain. It is so hard to go through with this. So painful especially when you are feeling that was your last chance.

I will write more later, I have to jump on a conference call.

(((((HUGS)))))
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
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Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #3  
May 27th, 2009, 02:41 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
We had a great thread not too long ago about visiting our DDC's http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f4...date-club.html

It is so hard not to go in there. That is where we made friends, shared experiences, had our hopes and dreams. And for them to keep going and us not is really hard. It is painful to see them get big when we are so empty. I wish I had better advice for you, what I can say is it does get a little easier as time goes on. I find myself not going in there for over a week now. I am so sorry you are hurting, we are here for you.
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #4  
May 27th, 2009, 03:05 PM
Sincat's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 771
Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post
We had a great thread not too long ago about visiting our DDC's http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f4...date-club.html

It is so hard not to go in there. That is where we made friends, shared experiences, had our hopes and dreams. And for them to keep going and us not is really hard. It is painful to see them get big when we are so empty. I wish I had better advice for you, what I can say is it does get a little easier as time goes on. I find myself not going in there for over a week now. I am so sorry you are hurting, we are here for you.
I can't really say it any better that this. Keep trying though ~ don't give up!
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  #5  
May 27th, 2009, 03:38 PM
FruitLoopLace's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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well I am in tears for you, I am still bleeding,after hemorraging twice this weekend and ending with a D&C. I am angery to that i am not in the DDC of December anymore, I am even more upset that NOW my last DDC has gotten a BFP this past week and thenwaiting to see if another has one, I am so sorry, I understand, I feel so upset and jealous of the Dec. and my old DDC, I WAS supposed to be pregnant! I hope this goes through as quickly and easy as possible and DONT GIVE UP!!!! PLEASE!!!!
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  #6  
May 27th, 2009, 03:57 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think most of us have ventured back to our DDC. It feels like we are torturing ourselves but so many of us do it. It's our nature to do things like that. We also keep track of how many wks we should be, when our showers should be happening, our DD's.
Im sorry you have to go thru this....I agree with the other ladies-don't give up. You're still young!
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  #7  
May 27th, 2009, 07:51 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with the other ladies here, Im also 38 and will be 39 in Dec. Ive had two losses this year already and find myself looking in the Oct, Nov and Dec DDC's! The dr. did warn me before trying in Jan that with my age I had a 33% chance of m/c. I knew this going into it, but did not think it would happen twice in a row. I pray 3rd time is the charm, but Im not letting myself get caught up in my "short window" as the dr. calls it. When it happens it will happen and I just pray no more m/c this year for me, or for any of us! Hang in there, and no matter what you decide, just know this will get a little easier as time passes. We are here for you....
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  #8  
May 27th, 2009, 09:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
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I know there's nothing I can do to stop you going into your ddc. It is normal to do it, but for myself I felt sick the first time I even clicked on the link to go in there and I haven't been back since. I wish all the ladies well, but it was not healthy for me to be there.

I hope that if you decide you do want another baby, that dh will come round. I know he does not want either of you to go through this pain again, but on the other hand, you would hopefully not go through this again and would have a healthy baby at the end of it.

Thinking of you.
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  #9  
May 28th, 2009, 11:35 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I still visit September DDC. It started every other day and then when to 2 times a week and now I only go in every 2 or 3 weeks. it is really hard and I try to stay out of it. Being pregnant again really didnt help. I figured I would stop cause i have a new ddc but I still lurk in there.
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  #10  
May 28th, 2009, 11:44 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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I think everyone can feel for you hun. We all got excited. I remember thinking the same thing. I still find tickers I forgot about that remind me I should be in my third trimester. I was due August 17th. I have a feeling that day is going to be hard on me. I should be getting all fat and prego and cute and wearing the ooh soo comfy maternity closes and feeling those precious little kicks. I hope that with time you will find peace and know you are not alone.
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  #11  
May 29th, 2009, 05:31 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Canada
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I just wanted to send you huge *HUGS*

Please don't feel like you have to make a decision about TTC so soon. Right now, your pain is so fresh and raw. Give yourself atleast a few months, or however long feels right to you.
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  #12  
May 30th, 2009, 01:01 PM
Rh♥nda's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry. In the beginning I was always lurking in my DDC, wishing I could post something and feel apart of the group still. It did get easier with time, now dont get me wrong I still lurk in there but not as often as I did in the beginning. Once you find peace I promise it will get so much easier.
Please don't give up.
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  #13  
May 31st, 2009, 01:38 PM
ldovey83's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 7,711
I am miscarrying now... I am on day 4 of it, and I still go to my DDC and I still feel jealous, and wonder why me? I think it is natural to do this and feel this way... I am glad that I do have you ladies to talk with that can relate to what I am going through cause this has been a hard blow for me.. I find myself having a daily struggle with it.. HUGS to you all!!
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  #14  
June 10th, 2009, 09:08 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I did it to myself again and went into my old DDC tonight.... I need to stop doing that. Looking at their belly pics made me happy for them and brought back a huge flood of emotions of what I lost and where I should be.

uggggggg

Ok, done venting. It is getting a little easier so I am making progress.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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