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This is so hard and I dont know how I will ever get through this


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
May 31st, 2009, 12:21 PM
brandimomof2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I posted once before yesterday but I am 12 wks and found out my baby doesnt have a heartbeat. I am just waiting to miscarry and really hoping that maybe they are wrong and everything is ok.

Anyhow we went to grab a bite to eat just to get our minds on something else. We have to be strong for our 2 girls and dont want them to see us to upset. There just had to be 2 babies that came in while we were eating. Small babies and one of them started to cry with that little newborn cry. I thought I was going to lose it. I held it together though.

This is so hard. I just dont know how I am going to get through this. I dont know how I will ever make the feeling of wanting another baby go away either. I get very ill during pregnancy and I am bedridden for the first 3mths. Its life altering really. I was hoping I wouldnt be sick this time but I was. I dont know that I can do that again. I could probably do it but my dh doesnt want to go through it all again and doesnt want to try again. I am just so devastated and dont know what I will ever do if I can never have another baby.

This is just horrible.
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  #2  
May 31st, 2009, 03:52 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hugs to you Sweetie. Losing a baby can be so difficult. It seems like in every direction we turn there is a constant reminder. the baby in the resturant, The pg lady at the store, the ads on TV and so on...it only makes us hurt that much more.
I know you want to be strong for your family but definately need to give yourself time to grieve. Let your walls down and give yourself time to be volnerable-cry and talk out your emotions. If you don't feel comfortable doing that with dh or a friend-you have us.

I think each of the ladies will say they were confused and unsure they could ever go thru another pg. Best advice I can give is dont' worry about that now. Let yourself grieve and move forward first. Then deal with the fact if you can/should/would have another baby.
I know it's hard to stop thinkingabout it but really-let yourself grieve now.

We are here for you.
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  #3  
May 31st, 2009, 07:17 PM
Laydii_cintah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I completely understand where your coming from! My husband also said he's scared to try again. He doesn't want to risk me having another miscarriage and having to deal with the hurt. He told me maybe later. I'm just trying to grieve this baby because I really haven't had the chance to. I"m mommy first and I have to take care of the boys. It's hard. I've had my moments where I just brake down. It seems everyone around me is pregnant. I want a big belly, I want to feel the baby kick. But I know with time we'll start trying again and get our baby. Sorry if I'm no help. I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to you.
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  #4  
May 31st, 2009, 09:35 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  #5  
May 31st, 2009, 10:22 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im so sorry for your struggles right now. I can say you may feel different in the near future. Its so hard right now, all we can think about is "how will I ever do this again". It helped me to just greive this loss and not to consider my future yet. Im still here, greiving less but still not ready to embrase my future plans of having a baby. Its not being scared of another loss, just mentally exausted still. I hope you get the answers from your next u/s and that you are able to let it all out, you owe it to yourself. We are here for you.
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  #6  
May 31st, 2009, 10:23 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im so sorry for your struggles right now. I can say you may feel different in the near future. Its so hard right now, all we can think about is "how will I ever do this again". It helped me to just greive this loss and not to consider my future yet. Im still here, greiving less but still not ready to embrase my future plans of having a baby. Its not being scared of another loss, just mentally exausted still. I hope you get the answers from your next u/s and that you are able to let it all out, you owe it to yourself. We are here for you.
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Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #7  
May 31st, 2009, 10:23 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im so sorry for your struggles right now. I can say you may feel different in the near future. Its so hard right now, all we can think about is "how will I ever do this again". It helped me to just greive this loss and not to consider my future yet. Im still here, greiving less but still not ready to embrase my future plans of having a baby. Its not being scared of another loss, just mentally exausted still. I hope you get the answers from your next u/s and that you are able to let it all out, you owe it to yourself. We are here for you.
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Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #8  
June 1st, 2009, 01:06 AM
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I'm so sorry. I have often seen women who get debilitating morning sickness and know that I probably couldn't be as strong as them - and it would be so hard to still want to have a baby so badly and not have dh on board. Maybe he will change his mind once you have both grieved a bit.

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  #9  
June 1st, 2009, 04:21 PM
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I am so sorry for everything that you are going through right now
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  #10  
June 1st, 2009, 06:24 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry you are going through this. You need to take time out for yourself as well as your children. I know it is hard to do that when they have needs, but try to if you can. Even if it is just to cry or stare at the ceiling. I promise you that it will get a little easier. It is probably hard to believe that right now with all of the raw pain and emotions that you are feeling. Once you come out of the fog as we call it you can think of the future. Right now please take care of you.

I felt the exact same way. Still do sometimes. I wish I could take it all away for you.
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  #11  
June 2nd, 2009, 09:24 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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So sorry you are going through this. I know my hubby said he didn't want to go through it again either. Give it time. We just passed the three month mark from our D&C and hubby finally said that maybe in a year or three (LOL) we could try again. Which means that he is healing too and thinking that maybe it would be ok to try again. When it all first happened he was certain he didn't want to risk going through it. I am just patiently waiting to see if he comes all the way around. I tried to stay strong for my two children as well but sometimes its just hard and you just have to cry and that is ok too. Hugs and thoughts your way.
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  #12  
June 2nd, 2009, 01:45 PM
MelissaM09's Avatar Regular
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I am so sorry for your loss sweetie. I pray that you and your family will heal soon.
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  #13  
June 2nd, 2009, 05:49 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I'm another one who gets debilitating morning sickness. I get SO sick when pregnant. That alone made the idea of getting pregnant again so hard. It wasn't really an option for me not to, I didn't have a baby yet.

It must be so hard when you have other children, not to get that time to just wallow and let it all out.

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  #14  
June 3rd, 2009, 04:41 AM
Rh♥nda's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I will say this though, it is hard to get over any loss, but time will heal your pain.
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  #15  
June 3rd, 2009, 09:46 AM
ldovey83's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am sorry for what you are going through... I hope it gets better, but if you really want another child it is all worth it.. I know it is hard when y ou have other children to attend to but in the end you will have a beautiful baby. I hope you feel better soon. HUGS hun!!
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