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Poem 1 or Poem 2 Update in Post #7, Xposted


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
June 12th, 2009, 11:07 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
So tomorrow is the memorial at the hospital where Ethan was born for all the babies they have lost this year. They have invited the parents to speak. I'm not very creative, so I went out and found two poems written by my favorite singer. Help me pick which one to read!

Poem 1

watch the sun,
as it crawls across a final time
and it feels like,
like it was a friend.
it is watching us,
and the world we set on fire
do you wonder,
if it feels the same?

and the sky is filled with light
can you see it?
all the black is really white
if you believe it
as your time is running out
let me take away your doubt
you can find a better a place
in this twilight

from dust to dust,
ashes in your hair remind me
what it feels like
and I won't feel again
night descends
could I have been a better person
if I could only do it all again

and the sky is filled with light
can you see it?
all the black is really white
if you believe it
and the longing that you feel
you know none of this is real
you will find a better place
in this twilight


Poem 2

Staring at the sea
Will she come?
Is there hope for me
After all is said and done
Anything at any price
All of this for you
All the spoils of a wasted life
All of this for you
All the world has closed her eyes
Tired faith all worn and thin
For all we could have done
And all that could have been

Ocean pulls me close
And whispers in my ear
The destiny i've chose
All becoming clear
The currents have their say
The time is drawing near
Washes me away
Makes me disappear

I descend from grace
In arms of undertow
I will take my place
In the great below

I can still feel you
Even so far away
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Last edited by rebeccabaltimore and more; June 14th, 2009 at 10:51 AM.
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  #2  
June 12th, 2009, 12:30 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Both are beautiful, but I really like the first one.
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  #3  
June 12th, 2009, 07:32 PM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree that they're both beautiful, but I'm partial to the second one.
(I really love the ocean!)
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  #4  
June 12th, 2009, 08:31 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I can't get the first one out of my head (they're both song lyrics) and it's my absolute favorite song by my favorite musician, I think I may go with that one. Of course, that's IF I read anything. I'm still not sure I can. If I don't think I can get a whole poem out, I may recite that quote from Castle:

"It never goes away, but one day you wake up and find that you don't mind carrying it with you."
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  #5  
June 13th, 2009, 02:01 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thinking about you today... HUGS
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Last edited by Kary♥RN; June 13th, 2009 at 02:12 PM.
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  #6  
June 13th, 2009, 08:28 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hugs sweetie. How did things go?
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  #7  
June 14th, 2009, 10:50 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Overall the memorial went very well. The theme was rainbows and butterflies, and they played a very nice version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Some of it seemed a little silly (they had us sing Kumbaya, no joke), some of it was awkward (the ****** grandma who clearly seemed to blame her daughter-in-law), and some of it was boring (the awkward OB nurse who went on at length about her dead grandma). Some of it was really nice though - they had a ceremony where they poured water from a 3 foot high tear jar into a 2 layer bird feeder filled with smooth river stones. We each got to take a river stone, and then they gave each set of parents a white carnation. Frustratingly, the nurse giving out the carnations tried to give us an extra one "for the new baby on the way", so in a room full of people I had to explain that no, we weren't pregnant, I just looked that way. She apologized to be later but I'm still pissed - what if she had said that to a mother not on as many psychiatric medications as I am? Hopefully she's learned her lesson.

We got to see Robin, our super awesome OB nurse again. She's the one who pretty much delivered Ethan, and she's the one you took pictures and made us a memory box and retouched the pictures (including the one in my siggy).

Everyone had a chance to speak, though few did. My father spoke first, and thanked Robin and the doctors and nurses for taking such good care of us. My sister spoke too, about the ripple effect, how such tiny babies could make such a big impact on our lives. No one read poems, so I didn't read the one I had picked. But I did speak, about how Jewish families have a baby naming ceremony/circumcision ceremony at 8 days old. Obviously, Ethan didn't get one, so I announced his Hebrew name - Eitan Avidror - at the memorial instead.

Dan and I definitely brought the largest entourage - both sets of grandparents, an aunt and uncle, and an honorary aunt. Dan was pretty choked up for most of the first half of the ceremony. It's sad to see him cry, but I know it's good for him to let it out every so often. It was also hard to see my family cry - even my dad and my father in law, who are normally pretty stoic.

Afterwards we all went out to lunch and shared memories of Ethan. My brothers joined us for lunch, and I was surprised to learn that Sam had wanted to come to the memorial - Mom had thought it would be too upsetting for them.

Overall it went very well. Thank you all for your support. Some of the parents there had lost babies really recently, and seeing them I was reminded of how hard it was in the beginning, and how helpful all of your help has been and continues to be. I am definitely glad it's over with, but it was nice to see that the nursing staff still cares about our little ones as much as we do.
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  #8  
June 21st, 2009, 04:46 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It sounds beautiful, Rebecca. I'm glad that so much of your family came to support you and Dan.
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