Log In Sign Up

Rough day


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 16th, 2009, 11:39 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
Send a message via MSN to JessP Send a message via Yahoo to JessP
Today has been hard. Not sure why or what triggered it. And not sure where to turn for support. DH just doesn't understand and we talked a couple days ago. He just wasn't as attached. We were 15 weeks when we found out there was no heartbeat.
I keep thinking how funny that I complained about kankles, all the weight gain, the uncomfortable nights, the cravings, the ready to be done being pregnant with my first two. Now I would give anything to be "that" miserable instead of this. I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me. I keep making dr appointments but there is nothing wrong. My baby and a piece of my heart are gone and I don't know why. I should weigh close to 180 by now, and be getting kicked and complaining that it hurts. I just wish I could understand. I called and asked if they knew the sex of the baby, no idea why I just wanted to know. But they couldn't tell and the lab reports from the D&C didn't say. I really wanted to try again but DH doesn't want to yet and I think that makes it harder because the thought of being pregnant again gives me something to look forward to. Some hope. I just feel kind of empty. I don't know how else to describe it. I feel crazy. It has been 3.5 months somehow I keep thinking I should have moved on. My daughters pediatrician said that she lost two and the due date months were always hard on her. She was so nice, whole other story there how we got talking about it. Anyway I just needed to get this off my chest I guess and I know you ladies understand. DH tries and he loves me and wants to help but he is built different than me .
__________________

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie
http://skinny-jessi.blogspot.com/


Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 17th, 2009, 08:52 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754

I'm sorry that it has been such a tough day for you. It is such a horrible, difficult thing to deal with.
__________________
Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 17th, 2009, 09:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: B.C.
Posts: 3,047
I'm sorry you had a hard day
__________________

Patricia, wife to Chris and mom to Dominick with baby boy #2 due this summer! Forever missing my two little angels.




Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 17th, 2009, 10:08 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Don't worry about not "moving on" honey. It's been 3 years for me, and I still miss my sweet girl more than anything. And that is perfectly okay.

There is a lot of pressure in our society to just "get over" things like this, but really, you lost a child. There's no getting over that. You can go forward with your life, but you never get over it.


Take a look at the "Mourner's Bill of Rights" in the Comfort Spot subforum. It's a really great read.


AND THAT IS OKAY.

__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #5  
June 17th, 2009, 02:46 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,406
Im sorry that you still have days like this. But 3.5 months is not a long time, not in the big picture. When its your baby that you lost, especially in the the second tri-mester, thats dealing with a death. These things take time, and I know about the empty feeling, I would try and think about the things that were important in your life pre-pregnancy. Things that you were going to start on and then got pushed to the side. Try and find what makes YOU happy and only you. You deserve this. Hopefully you will find brighter days ahead of you and it might be a little easier with some plans for the future. Once your DH feels that you are physically/mentally somewhat recovered, he might feel better about TTC again. He may be built different, but trust me, they know when your hurting, he's probably scared of this happening again and has taken some of the blame himself.
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 17th, 2009, 04:42 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
Send a message via MSN to JessP Send a message via Yahoo to JessP
Thanks ladies. And thanks Lori I never thought that he was trying to protect me in a way by holding off to ensure I was ok. A friend of ours came over with their 6 month old and I got to hold him. He is a sweet baby. DH asked how I felt about holding him and stuff. It almost seemed like he wanted to know if I enjoyed it and if that want/desire to have another was still strong or if holding it made me go oh sweet baby, I'm good. Maybe talking to him tonight will help. I appreciate all the kind words and even just posting this and getting my feelings out seemed to really help. I guess I should start journaling again or something. It might help me sort out all the feelings.
__________________

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie
http://skinny-jessi.blogspot.com/


Reply With Quote
  #7  
June 17th, 2009, 09:48 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,406
Jessi, Im glad that you two "connected" today. Journaling (if thats a word) sounds like a good idea, but please come here too. By you telling us your emotions, we kind of get healing too, KWIM? After coming here for several months now, Im at a good place. Im not strung out on TTC again, and have a content feeling that it will happen when the timing is right for everyone/and phyisically. At first all I could stand to do was pray that I get pg right away, and now, that feeling has been replaced with healing and a new found respect for my body. It did not fail me, and I have finally forgiven myself. My DH has finally forgiven himself for the feeling that it was his fault too. So maybe soon, I will ready again. Just takes time I guess.
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 21st, 2009, 01:12 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 8,388
Send a message via AIM to Kary♥RN Send a message via Yahoo to Kary♥RN
I'm sorry you had a bad day... But also glad you and dh got to talk.. and hopefully this will be the start of more talking for the two of you!! HUGS
__________________

Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!

BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 21st, 2009, 05:23 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
__________________




Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

Visit
BeaMade for unique, adorable, high quality handmade crochet hats and booties, velcro free soother clips and soft sole baby boots.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:22 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0