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I just had the most aweful weekend ever. I had a huge fight with my DH this weekend. He hasn't spoke to me since then. He has been giving me the silent treatment. I feel lost and don't know what to do. It seems like my whole life is a failure and all I am to my DH is a burden. Maybe marrying me is a big mistake. Ever since I lost my baby, my life has been such an emotional train wreck. Everything has turn for the worse. I keep asking myself those "If " questions.. like if I was more careful, my baby would still be here or if I hadn't done that, my baby would still be alive. I know this wouldn't change anything but maybe it might save my marriage right now.
First off, losing your baby was NOT your fault, it is something horrible that happens and it is not because of something you did or didn't do. I often find myself thinking like that, but please try to remember it is not anything that you had control over. Second, I know that you are not a failure or a burden. You have gone through something horrible, being an emotional train wreck is completely normal, expected, acceptable. I wish I had advice on how to fix things with your DH. But I hope that he stops giving you the silent treatment and at least talks to you so that you can work things out.
__________________ Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)
Oh sweetie dont' feel that way.
I know I felt so awful and like the biggest loser after I lost our baby. It really took it's toll on me and I felt like a mess.
Looking back now I see how snappy and moody I was toward dh. It all was due to my pain and grief. Many times he was the same way...he was dealing with his own pain too. In those times we seem to lash out and get mad at the ones we love the most.
You are still grieving and most things seem worse right now than they reaaly are. Give yourself some time and know that it will get better.
HUGS... I wish I could take all your pain away... Lossing a baby.. is something noone should have to go through.. The emotions are horriable.. the hurt, the emptiness, the feelingof being alone... the complete rollercoaster of emotions... HUGS .... I always say I have bad days and worse days... I still have trouble getting through the day without tearing up or crying. Hopefully it will be a better day for you tomorrow.. HUGS
Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!
BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles