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  #1  
June 22nd, 2009, 06:04 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Central Jersey
Posts: 134
Hello Ladies, my name is Nicole. I just received my confirmation today that we have lost our baby. I am so angry, sad, numb, I feel guilty. My reg Dr was not in so I had to see another one. He was such a jerk. I wanted to just grab him and smack him! How can OBGYN Dr. be so flip and calous?? (sp?) Anyways, I was 10 days late on Thur when I tested, I knew I was PG, just scared to test. DH asked me to so I did. The line came right up dark as can be. (last month I was 7 days late, tested faint positive, next 3 days light bleeding) We have a DS almost 6 and a DD 4, thought we were done. This baby was a suprise. The Sat I started to bleed. I "knew" I was lossing it. I call Dr. he said to just call office Mon and come in then. I worried all weekend......bleeding......crying......Then today all the Dr said was "yep, looks like you were about 10 weeks. Well, at least you know you can get PG" they took some blood and told me to call tom. for the results, maybe more blood on Wed. Then we will see. Thanks oh and by the way, have a nice day! I am so sorry for going on and on, but I am lossing my mind. I did not know I wanted another baby until this one made itself known. Now I miss it so much, I feel so empty. DH is trying to help, but one thing he said just keeps playing over and over in my head. "At least we have 2 beautiful kids". He did not mean to be insensitive, I know he is hurting too. I KNOW I have been blessed, but what about the blessing we just lost? On Fathers Day weekend of all times???? I keep trying to tell myself that my daddy is holding my baby in his arms keeping him safe and warm so that I may meet him someday. Why do I not feel any better? I just want to curl up in a ball and be left alone....... Again, sorry to rant on... Thank you for reading this far, if nothing else, it feels a bit better to let it all out. KWIM?
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  #2  
June 22nd, 2009, 07:35 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I am so sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is all normal and what we have gone through. Please feel free to vent away here, we all understand. I wish I could take your pain away. ((Hugs))
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
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Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #3  
June 22nd, 2009, 08:10 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: PA
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I am so sorry for your loss.... hugs.... What you are feeling is normal.. it hurts, that empty feeling is awful.. You have found a great group of ladies that can support you. We all know your pain, anger, hurt, and emptiness. HUGS Hun..
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  #4  
June 22nd, 2009, 09:03 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
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Nicole, Im so sorry for this to happen to you. When our plans and dreams get crushed in an instant, it does not matter how that dream came to be hear, only that it is gone. I/we, know all to well how devestating this is. Maybe this will change your future dreams of having one more baby, and God will bless you with this dream soon. Im so sorry again for your loss and want to welcome you hear to vent, cry and just let it out as you see fit.
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Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #5  
June 23rd, 2009, 05:14 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
(((HUGS)))
I'm sorry for your loss. can be the best and the worst. I have found in all my years of dealing with Dr's that they are some that are just plain a**Holes and then they are those who turn their emotions off because they have experienced a loss by someone close. I am sorry he was so mean.
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  #6  
June 23rd, 2009, 06:37 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Central Jersey
Posts: 134
Thank you ladies for your kind words. I babysit for a 7 month old baby mon-fri and drop off today was so hard. I hear him and see him playing and just want to cry. How can I find the strength to act normal with him and my children? How do I act like nothing is wrong so as not to scare them? When I feel like this. Errands must be done, we have no food in the house, kids want to go to storytime........ I have to buck up and get it all done.
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  #7  
June 23rd, 2009, 07:59 PM
sportsmom2's Avatar Pregnant with #3
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 554
Your experience sounds very similar to mine. My DH and I have two boys, 12 and 10. We were not trying to conceive, but it happened when I was switching birth control. I found out I was pregnant last Monday on our 12th wedding anniversary. We were shocked and excited at the same time. I went to the doctor on Wednesday and everything appeared to be normal.. til that evening when I started spotting brown. I had very minor cramping with it. In my gut I knew something was wrong.

Friday I went back to the doctor and he did vaginal ultrasound ( I was 6.5 weeks along) and he could not see anything in my uterus. He said either my dates were wrong or there was a strong possibility I was in the process of miscarrying. I was devastated. They checked my HCG levels but told me they wouldn't have them back til Monday.

On Sunday, Father's Day... I miscarried the baby. It was the worst experience I have ever gone thru. It was painful, emotional and heartbreaking.

Now, I want another baby. Even though the other was not planned in any way, we had already accepted that baby into our lives and prepared ourselves to be a family of 5. Now we feel as though we aren't complete anymore.

I am hoping to gain helpful knowledge here and cope with our loss. Hope you can too...
Dianna
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  #8  
June 24th, 2009, 09:00 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573


I think that starting any comment with "at least..." is one of the worst things any person can do. It demeans your loss and invalidates your pain. You have every right to feel the way you do. The moment you find out you're pregnant you have hopes and dream of your future. It doesn't matter how long/short a time it is, that future is stolen from you.

Please, don't feel bad for venting here. That's what we're here for. And if you'd like your angel added to our memorial list, please just add your information to the sticky, okay?

again
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  #9  
June 24th, 2009, 09:07 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Central Jersey
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Dianna~
I am so sorry you are going through this also.
I too have come to want another baby. I know that sounds crazy since I just lost this one, but I can not help it. DH keeps saying we have our 2 beautiful healthy children. I don't think he has even considered trying again. Not that I think I can replace our lost soul, just that the idea is there. I have not brought it up to him to try for another. Maybe it is too soon, maybe I don't want to hear his answer, I don't know. I do know that I feel like we are an incomplete family now.
One of my best friends is PG, our EDD were 5 days apart. It is going to be so hard to see her and know that I would be walking this path with her and instead I have been put on a diffrent path completly.
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  #10  
June 25th, 2009, 09:26 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,316
To the original poster and several of you who responded to her, Im so sorry for your losses and pray for you all to hopefully soon have your babys. Most of you replied with the feeling of your family's feeling incomplete now and how you would like to consider having a baby now, I just want to say that I hope your bodies heal fast and your hearts are filled soon......
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Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #11  
June 26th, 2009, 06:44 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Location: Washington
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I am so sorry for your loss but welcome you here. There are many of us here that feel the same way and understand. I remember the whole time thinking that this can't be happening. Men do handle this very differently I have found. My dh just doesn't know how to help me and I feel bad that I don't know how to tell him. We have been broaching the subject of trying again and we are almost at the 4 month mark from our m/c. I think as our due date nears we think about it more. I know too that as time has gone by we talk about the baby more or in a different way really. It has helped me. Staying busy helped a lot to get me "going" again and I do allow myself little break downs. Maybe staying busy will help you too. I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery.
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  #12  
June 27th, 2009, 07:08 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Canada
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I'm so sorry for your loss, hon.
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