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Was the day my baby boy was supposed to come. But he came way too early at 14 weeks. I am not doing well this week, just coping and holding it together for the family. What was helping me get to this point was the fact that I was pregnant again and hoping to find out baby's sex on September 9th. But that baby is gone too and it has only been two weeks since my D&C.
People don't talk to me about my losses anymore because they are 'over and done with'. But for me the hurt is very raw. There will not be another baby even though my body aches for one. The Dr's won't test because they think I am too old (39). It is a lot to deal with in such a short period of time. DH is so busy and stressed about work, I can't talk to him.
And it seems as though everyone is pregnant and due in the next few weeks. My heart is being ripped out each time I hear of someone finding out the gender or being due soon.
And if one more person asks how my summer went. I know it is the polite thing to ask and I politely say not bad. Inside my brain is screaming it was the worse summer and year of my life!!!! My babies are dead! I should be celebrating the birth of one but instead I am mourning the death of two!
I hear ya hun. Especially on the EDD, people getting over it and all the pregnancies. Ok well pretty much your whole post. I lost two babies both due in August (one in 2009 and one in 2010). And August is the worst month ever . I am so sorry that you lost another baby and that your summer has been so terrible. I wish I had something that would take your pain away. Please know that you are never alone and we are always here anytime you need someone to "talk" to. Being done TTC is also hard and another event that is worth crying over. I really felt and still feel like my family is missing something (well two somethings I guess ). I wanted just one more baby to hold in my arms and kiss their cheeks.
I find that people that haven't experienced a loss just don't understand the emotions behind losing a baby, it's not just something we get over. I can't imagine how you feel being done TTC. I'm glad that you can come here and know that you are not alone. I hope things will get a little bit easier for you as time goes on.
Thank you so much ladies. It really is comforting to come here.
I have a very special friend who does the most thoughtful things. Last night when I wasn't looking she sneaked a card in my bag. Inside the card was a beautiful August angel pin. It meant so much that she even remembered and the angel was so touching. She has been with me emotionally thru my three losses. Her husband is a Dr so she got him to stay with me at the hospital during my awful prolonged m/c ordeal in February since my DH was in Asia when it happened. Friends like her are few and far between.