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I have some questions on my miscarriage. Since it's supposedly the "size of a raspberry" how is that supposed to pass through my "closed" cervix? They want the body to do genetic testing. I'm passing all kinds of brown and red stuff, but not a dead baby. I don't want to be carved up in a D&C unless I have to.
Also, typically when does the baby die - before you ever see spotting or some time after? I had yellow, then tan, then brown, then brown-red, then red, for 5 days before going into the emergency room early yesterday morning with severe cramps. I was 8w 2d. The baby measured 7w 2d, but it had already been behind schedule in growth according to previous ultrasounds. I am wondering if it died on its own then I spotted, or if I spotted (placenta/uterus breaking down) and that's what eventually killed it.
I'm a very young-looking, young-feeling 39 year old. But I realise that eggs probably age regardless of that. However, I had a very late puberty. Did not get my first period until I was 17. (I may have had something wrong hormonally or nutritionally back then, but back then doctors and parents didn't even think about that). Does a late puberty help me now in giving me a few extra years on my eggs? I've always said that if I don't have a baby by the time I'm 40, I'll stop trying. I changed that to "if I'm not pregnant by the time I'm 40, I'll stop trying". Now after this miscarriage, I've just wasted 2 months and I've got only 4 months left to either make it happen or stop trying or change my mind (again) about that little rule.
As far as when the baby died could be either. I have had miscarriages where I bled before the baby died and miscarriages where I showed no signs of complications until after. As for passing it your cervix will soften and open just as it would for child birth. with this miscarriage I just had it was 3 weeks from the time the pregnancy stopped progressing until the pregnancy tissue came out. If they want the tissue then they might have to do a D&C becasue it can easily come out into the toliet (I guess at that point you would have to fish i out of the toliet if you wanted to take it to them).
As for your question on Late puberty - no that would not give your eggs a few extra years. what eggs you have are already there and completely developed before you are ever even born. most likely there is something wrong with your system that caused the late puberty (depending on what that is could make your egg quality worse then what it would be for your age).
The baby will pass when your cervix opens...if you choose for it to happen naturally, then it can take a while, however, your doctor could also give you the option of the pill cytotec, which softens/opens the cervix (this is what I had to do for mine, and my baby was measuring 9 weeks at the time)...usually the bleeding is a sign that something is wrong...so, unless you had a hemotoma of some kind, it was probably a chromosomal problem...my OB thought that mine was chromosomal but doesnt insist on testing until you have at least two losses (this is my first)...and honestly, I was not in a stable enough condition mentally to dig my baby out of my bloody toilet and take it in...
For mine, I never had any bleeding, cramping, spotting - nothing...I just went in for my 9 week U/S and the baby had no heartbeat...so, most probably the bleeding in your case was caused by the body starting to realize that the baby wasnt alive any more...another sign is that if your baby was measuring behind for a while, that can also be a sign that something was wrong from the start...
Your eggs are as old as you are - unfortunately, but we can do a number of things to get better eggs including nutrition and supplements...as well as things like Clomid/injections...
You may want to ask your OB to get you a consult with a reproductive endocrinologist who might be able to answer your questions further - good luck!
I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to PL. I have only had D&C's so I could not say how the tissue will be. It looks like some other ladies have given some good information though. I have heard that if the tissue goes into the toilet then they can't test it. So I would imagine if your dr wants it he would give you something to catch it or instructions. What did your doctor tell you? As for when baby dies it depends. Both of mine died before they left my body. However I don't know that it is always this way. I was 15 and 12 weeks along with mine. We are here for all your questions, concerns, vents, rants, cries or anything else you need/want to share.
"Your eggs are as old as you are - unfortunately, but we can do a number of things to get better eggs including nutrition and supplements...as well as things like Clomid/injections..."
Mainly, nutrition. I would like to, if possible know more about this train of thought, please.
I am aware that we are born with all the eggs we will ever have, but is there no chance for eggs to be dorman/latent until puberty? Maybe something changes at that time, and the clock starts ticking? Just looking for proof of hope. Sad as it sounds, my Ex was an abusive, thieving arrsehole and the most foolish thing I could have done is have kids with him when I was young and fertile. He would have not only stolen everything from me then, but everything in my future too.
So now I am finaly where I should have been all along. A loving, attentive husband but now I might be too old.
"Your eggs are as old as you are - unfortunately, but we can do a number of things to get better eggs including nutrition and supplements...as well as things like Clomid/injections..."
Mainly, nutrition. I would like to, if possible know more about this train of thought, please.
Samoy and Morgan.
Clomid can actually decrease egg quality (not for all eggs but for the ones that start to mature that cycle. I wouldnt have know this excpet i took it for YEARS - way more then they recommend).
Really?? *sighs* I got PG the very first month I took Clomid, after trying for 7-8 months. Is this the outcome? It forces an egg to produce but is doomed to fail down the road? How the H3LL did women do this in the 1800's back when they didn't even know bleeding was tied to fertility and not witchcraft????
Shannon-
I have not heard that (though I do know that my RE wouldnt let me take CLomid for more than 6 cycles - after that, he would insist on injectables)...for me, I ovulated late, and had low progesterone naturally...on Clomid, I got larger eggs and higher progesterone...my RE said that I couldnt get pregnant naturally cause my eggs werent good enough - on Clomid, they were...I think after a while that it can be bad for you (which is why it is only recommended to take it for 6 cycles)...but it wouldnt make sense that it would lower egg quality and yet be the first thing prescribed when a woman is diagnosed with having trouble conceiving...
As for nutrition, I'm currently (for the last almost 5 weeks since my M/C) doing:
-no processed sugar
-no fast-burning carbs (slow burning are ok)
-no wheat
-no high sugar fruit
-no transfats
-no chicken/meat...only animal meat is fish - 3x/week...have beans 4x/week...and otherwise lots of veggies/quinoa (a "good" grain) among other things...I have my "menu" for each week written here: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2...s-journal.html (Tonya's Journal)
in order to make my eggs the highest possible quality...from everything that I've read, this does help (though it can take a while - 3-6months - to see a difference in egg quality)...this is one article that I am following: How Diet Affects Fertility - Newsweek
I'm also using information from the book "The Infertility Cure" which focuses on nutrition and acupuncture (and TCM in general) to get the best quality eggs possible...
Supplements that I'm taking are RawOne B-complex and Vitanicia Vitex...however, I've also heard good things about Royal Jelly and DHEA and evening primrose oil...I'm doing a lot more research on those before I do much more with my body...it has been through a lot...
I will say that my "best" unmedicated cycle was 45 days long and I had progesterone of 8...which sucks...my M/C cycle where I followed everything above, my cycle was only 31 days (though I think it was a weak egg)...I also had no AF cramps for the first time in probably 15 years!
Kaiden's mom - that is nearly exactly the level of detail I was following during my pregnancy. Younger moms might laugh as I avoided all caffeine, chemicals, processed sugar, etc. I even lugged my own home water to work in glass bottles to avoid the chlorinated, fluoridated city water available there!
Hi. I am very sorry for your loss. (((Hugs))) I first read your post in TTCAL and it took me a while to post as my own story still makes me cry. First of all, when you started puberty has no effect on your egg quality. I started AF when I was 8 and my sister when she was 16. She went through full menopause by age 32, me... well I am still kicking out eggs!
Really long, painful story as short as possible: My DH and I tried for 2 1/2 years to have a baby. We first found out I was pregnant just before my 40th birthday. I was so thrilled because 40 was my cut off date. It was so perfect... only to lose that baby to miscarriage. We have had 4 losses, gone to an RE been through Failed IUI and clomid cycles. Pricked with more needles than I care to ever think about... tons of testing. I cried so many rivers of tears, crawled farther and farther into depression, a land I pray none of you end up in. RE said my fsh was too high and my ovarian reserve too low to ever get pregnant without IVF and donor eggs. We thought about it and my best friend even offered her eggs to me. We ran out of money and had to take a medical break. I spent so many hours doing research and more research and prayed and if someone heard of some new hocus pocus out there that could give me a chance to get pregnant I was trying it!
Through all of this I never fully gave up hope. No matter how hard what I was going through I knew the reward in the end would be worth it. Summary: I am a cute blond who looks 10 years younger than I am just like you. Except I am older, I am 42. and I am 13weeks pregnant. I hope that only gives you hope and does not hurt you. I know your pain, I feel it. I wish I could magically make you pregnant. ((Hugs)) and much love.
Hi Missy, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. We should stay in touch and give each other support through this! I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!
Missy is an inspiration around here
Missy - didn't you take DHEA?
It should tell you something that all those changes made a difference - and you DID get pregnant...miscarriage is horribly common...horribly...and more so as you get older...sometimes the divisions, all those crazy cell divisions just dont happen perfectly...the more you do to make your eggs as perfect as possible, the more likely you are to have your take home baby...
FWIW, I'll be 35 in a few months, and am healthier than most 25 year olds...but, I have older eggs, so I just have to work harder to get that perfect eggie...
After we did the clomid cycles and the IUI that all failed the doctor (very sadly) told me there was no hope. That we could try IVF with ICSI but even then it wasn't a guarantee. It had been over a year of TTC with no pregnancies but I wasn't about to give up. I came across the site above and spent hours reading up on DHEA. I took 75mg (3 pills) once a day in the evenings. The only side effect I had was a few facial hairs that would pop up here and there - I just plucked them 3 months after I started taking it we got pregnant! (that ended in a cervical ectopic) and 3 months after that pregnant again! (chemical pregnancy) they were losses but I was defeating all odds! 3 months later I was pregnant (and still am). I am a huge believer in DHEA - who would have ever thought that a $4 bottle sold at Walmart would be what helped me get pregnant?
Girls - I am so sorry for your losses. You know I understand every little thing you are all feeling. So many people have helped me through my journey and I pray that none of what I post hurts you in any way.
Last edited by missy123; May 24th, 2011 at 08:13 PM.
An update on me..I'd like to know what you think - if this is normal..
Three days later and I'm still actively miscarrying. I took a long bath today hoping that would help and I think it has. I think the baby and placenta are hanging half out of me. It is ropy and flesh-colored and probably 4-5 inches total length. But I'm not dialated enough for it all to slip out. I don't want to tug on it. I'm bleeding more heavily than a regular period now. I'm also really dizzy and lethargic, headachy, and have no appetite. I have not had a bite of food all day long, and it's 5pm now. But I'm thirsty like heck. I've been in bed all day. The cramps are so severe. It takes 2-3 hours for the painkillers they gave me to even begin to dampen the pain. Also, TMI, but I'm starting to get whiffs of something smelling not so good up in there. It doesn't smell like decompostion, it's just a little "off" but not too strong.
So I suppose if nothing changes by tomorrow, I'll have to call my doc and maybe get on antibiotics or get that D&C. Does everything I've described sound normal?
Last edited by Summer Dawn; May 25th, 2011 at 03:09 PM.
honey it does not sound normal at all. The pain part sounds like what I have heard but the rest not so good.
If you bleed more than a pad an hour you need to rush yourself into the nearest Emergency room. Ok? with my loss in September I almost bled out - it was no fun.
If you are ok overnight then call your doctor first thing in the am and demand to be seen. (((Hugs)))
ditto...do not take a bath right now cause your cervix is dialating...
If it smells funny, it is probably an infection and you need to get to the DR asap...like now!
I'll call my doc tomorrow and update her on what's happening - especially if this hasn't passed out of me yet. I know the bath was risky, but I'm thinking that so much fluid is leaking out of me right now that anything I picked up from the tub is being flushed out naturally. Who knows. I won't do it again. Thanks for all the feedback!
Always missing my 3 angels. 2/9/06, 3/12/11, 5/22/12 
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