[cdukes2010]

It's so strange doing this. You dream about the day you'll get to officially introduce yourself in a DDC but you never ever imagine yourself posting in the loss section instead.

My name is Carissa, DH and I got our anniversary gift of a BFP in August. Yesterday at exactly 11 weeks I started spotting. It was brown so I was still very postive that everything would be ok. At the hospital the nurse could not find a heartbeat. When we went for ultrasound the tech could not find the baby, it was so small. At some point our jellybean just stopped growing. My heart broke. I'm just numb, I feel like I'm not sure where to go or what to do next. I started bleeding heavily at 4:30 this morning and just laid awake realizing it was really over. The holidays will be especially hard for us as my SIL was only 6 weeks ahead of us. It's going to tear me apart to see her pregnant. I'm not really sure when I'll stop crying. Does it get easier? I never imagined I'd miss someone so much that I'd never met. I do know that we will try again. I will be a mommy some day.

[~Tanya~]

Carissa, a very sad but warm welcome to the board. My name is Tanya & I have 11 angels and two living children. I know exactly what you mean about not ever thinking you'd have to introduce yourself in a loss board

I am so sorry for your loss & wish that you never had to experience this pain The grieving process is so different for everyone, it's hard to say how long it will be before you start feeling "normal" again... You will never forget your LO, but it does get easier.

The ladies on the board are so supportive & each one has a different story, but we all know the grief you are feeling. Please feel free to add your angel to the memorial list & always know that you can share anything with us - good or bad

[Brittanie]

For me I just had to get used to the new "normal." I'm not the same person I was before my loss. And it was so gradual that I can't tell you when it happened, but eventually you have more good moments, which turn into more good hours, which turn into more good days.



Please add your information to the Baby Memorial List sticky

[JessP]

Welcome I am so sorry for your loss. I agree that with time you will start having better days. It takes time. Grieving takes time. But let yourself have that time. Cry, vent, be sad. It's ok.

[~*rach*~]

I am sorry for your loss. I miscarried last Thursday and it is still fairly new to me. I will say yesterday was terrible for me because it was a week since we found out. I thought today would be bad because it was a week ago I had my D&C. I have some great friends who have listened to me and been with me to cry. Crying has helped me. My husband is also great about telling me to just cry and let it out. I am a photographer and I really had no desire to work, but on Wed I made myself sit down and edit. I noticed that it passed time and I felt better after doing that. I only worked for a couple of hours and then rested. I did the same yesterday and today. I am finding that today I feel a little stronger. I still cry. I am crying now and there are times my heart hurts, but today I have not cried as much. I know it is hard and I know everyone is different with the grieving process. The girls on this board have been great about listening. HUGS to you.

[FL Mama]

So very very sorry for your loss. It's never easy. I just had my second loss on Tuesday. Lots of hugs to you.

[L-SBB]

I am so sorry to see you here...and so very sad for your loss Both of my losses happened within days of each other in Oct (3 years apart), so I understand how difficult it is getting through the holidays after a loss...when you're ready, think about getting an ornament or something else to remember your LO.

Even though it doesn't seem like it right now, you will work through the grief & shock of the loss and come out the other side stronger. HUGS