[Belita]

One month ago today I woke up at about 4am, went to the bathroom, and knew we had lost our sweet little Christmas Angel. I was strangely at peace with it at first, but then after about an hour it hit me and I was just devastated. DH has been handling it well. He's sad but not to the same degree as me.

I'm at work, but feel really crappy. DH and I both slept horribly. I'm going to leave work right as soon as the kids leave and just go home and allow myself the cry that is bubbling waiting to come out.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Give yourself that time to cry and let it out. Holding it inside does not help. Sometimes writing it out helps me but other times I go buy a balloon and write to my angel on it and let it go. I do this on my EDD's and my Angelversaries as well but sometimes randomly I need to write to them.

[Belita]

Thanks, Katie. I think I do want to do something for my Gabriel today. I think I might go to Hallmark and buy an angel statue. We left up one Christmas decoration in memory of our Christmas angel, but now that it's left up it just looks out of place and makes me feel more sad. I like the idea of sending a message up to heaven for my angel.

[.:Shortcake:.]

My living room is full of angel statues now I used to often when I was feeling down buy an angel. My mom got me one that is an angel laying on it's side with wings and it's on my mantel in the living room. I always try to find something that helps me feel connected with my babies when I'm having a down day. I hope that helps you hun.

[Belita]

I bought an August angel today since my due date was August 25th. It does help a bit to have an August angel up there for Gabriel instead of a nutcracker that looks out of place. The only problem is the angel is a girl and we both feel Gabriel is a boy, but that's okay. The angel is wearing a small peridot necklace since that's the birthstone for August and is carrying a basket of Gladiolus, which is the flower for August. I'm at home now snuggling with my Gabriel pillow (maternity body pillow DH bought me since I already needed it and belly bands at 5 weeks my bloat was so bad!) and catching up on my DVR.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Glad you got your angel. And that's okay that she is a girl. It's the thought and the feelings it brings that counts.

[JessP]

I am so sorry. Love your angel.

[Belita]

Thanks, ladies.

[bug, boo, n boogers mom]

I was an emotional wreck yesterday and have no idea why.