[.:Shortcake:.]

How are you feeling since your loss?

[Belita]

I fluctuate. Mostly sad and worried about getting pregnant again and worried about having my rainbow baby.

[.:Shortcake:.]

We are here for you hun!

[Belita]

Thanks. I think it's starting to hit me how much my mom's cancer (terminal) is factoring into my feelings about the loss. I have my counseling appt in 15 minutes and I think today is good timing!

[.:Shortcake:.]

How did your counseling appt go? Did it seem to help you at all? I'm sorry to hear about your mom

[Belita]

Yeah, it did seem to help. My counselor had me fill int a graphic organizer to walk me through my thoughts. She turned my thoughts and feelings into an affirmation statement and I have to reword it in my own words and keep it with me at all times.

I think what's helping me most is seeing my chart. I'm really starting to get excited about it now, but I'm also trying not to get my hopes up too much.

[bug, boo, n boogers mom]

I am just a roller coaster of emotions, one min I am happy the next I am ready to burst into tears, then angry. Just all over the place. It sucks.

[RinkMom]

It has been over a year since my last loss and I have good days and bad days. Recently it was more bad days but that is probably because I was very aware of the fact that I should be preparing a first birthday party instead of mourning a baby I never met.

Belita, sorry to hear that you have to deal with your mom's illness in addition to everything else.