[.:Shortcake:.]

How are you feeling? Let it all out! This is your safe haven to say exactly how your feeling.

[~~MeeMee~~]

Physically, I still feel a little crampy but nothing too bad.

Emotionally, I’m numb today. Just feeling like I’m going through the motions of living without actually feeling or thinking of anything.

[Belita]

It gets easier, hun. I felt like that for at least a month after my loss.

I just can't stop feeling torn. I'm happy about this pregnancy but feel sad for the little one I lost in December. I wish this pregnancy wasn't tainted by the loss. I'm scared in a way I never knew possible. And our DDC has had more losses than most DDCs and while I feel so incredibly sad for each woman since I know their pain, it puts me in pain to hear about each and every loss because it brings me back to the pain of my own loss. I just feel like being pregnant after a loss is just as hard as TTC after a loss, just in a different way.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Originally Posted by sleepinangel

Physically, I still feel a little crampy but nothing too bad.

Emotionally, I’m numb today. Just feeling like I’m going through the motions of living without actually feeling or thinking of anything.

Being numb is a part of the grieving process. The best advice I can give you is just to allow yourself to feel however your feeling and not to fight it and think you shouldn't be feeling that way.

Originally Posted by Belita

It gets easier, hun. I felt like that for at least a month after my loss.

I just can't stop feeling torn. I'm happy about this pregnancy but feel sad for the little one I lost in December. I wish this pregnancy wasn't tainted by the loss. I'm scared in a way I never knew possible. And our DDC has had more losses than most DDCs and while I feel so incredibly sad for each woman since I know their pain, it puts me in pain to hear about each and every loss because it brings me back to the pain of my own loss. I just feel like being pregnant after a loss is just as hard as TTC after a loss, just in a different way.

I know that after my first loss every pregnancy has been a HORRIBLE experience. I have left the fear of another loss eat away at me. That is why I'm determined that my next pregnancy I'm going to enjoy each and every moment that I am pregnant. But yes I agree it's just as hard as TTCAL.

[EverydayJoy]

Feeling like I've been trying to cope in unhealthy ways with this. It's been 2, almost 3 months now and I'm still very bitterly angry about it. I feel tense all the time and end up snapping at hubby. Plus we've had some extra stressors lately with hubby hurting his back and being out of work, and him wondering about his mom, etc.
I read some articles last night about grieving and getting stuck in the process and I think I'm just trying to feel "normal" and not have to deal with the sadness or pain, and the anger helps me do that. But, then it has a bad aftereffect of me hurting DH's feelings and being tense all the time. So, it's not really working for me. I read that it can help to just write about your worst feelings for about 20 min a day for at least 4 days and it can reduce your overall stress and give you a better handle on stuff. I wrote some last night and I think I'll do more.

DH doesn't seem to understand why I'm having such a hard time with this. Today he tried to carefully say his thoughts, how it was only with us for such a short time, we can try again, etc, basically saying "I don't understand your feelings" and that he knows he's a guy so it's different. I just wish he had some clue why I'm feeling what I'm feeling.

[214momtobe]

I am feeling worried that I if I do get pregnant again, I will be nervous and scared every single second (I AM already a worrier) and so I am just realizing that this may be a HUGE problem. Glad to be thinking about this before I am pregnant again-So I can maybe figure out some healthy ways to deal with this kind of anxiety!



ARGH-SO SAD-JUST SAW THE TICKER(DIDNT TAKE IT OFF YET) WILL DO NOW

[Krisnina]

I'm feeling guilty. I'm feeling sorry for myself. The worst thing is that a friend's two year old child went missing yesterday and still has not been found. She is going through the worst thing I can ever imagine and I still find myself feeling bad that I am not longer pregnant. I keep telling myself that nothing can be as bad as what she is going through, but then secretly wanting to tear up for my loss. Life just seems so unfair sometimes. It might just be that I am upset for my friend and just everything is upsetting me or maybe it is just a little bit of everything.

[Mommy_of_7_Angels]

Depressed.

[Belita]

Originally Posted by EverydayJoy

Feeling like I've been trying to cope in unhealthy ways with this. It's been 2, almost 3 months now and I'm still very bitterly angry about it. I feel tense all the time and end up snapping at hubby. Plus we've had some extra stressors lately with hubby hurting his back and being out of work, and him wondering about his mom, etc.
I read some articles last night about grieving and getting stuck in the process and I think I'm just trying to feel "normal" and not have to deal with the sadness or pain, and the anger helps me do that. But, then it has a bad aftereffect of me hurting DH's feelings and being tense all the time. So, it's not really working for me. I read that it can help to just write about your worst feelings for about 20 min a day for at least 4 days and it can reduce your overall stress and give you a better handle on stuff. I wrote some last night and I think I'll do more.

DH doesn't seem to understand why I'm having such a hard time with this. Today he tried to carefully say his thoughts, how it was only with us for such a short time, we can try again, etc, basically saying "I don't understand your feelings" and that he knows he's a guy so it's different. I just wish he had some clue why I'm feeling what I'm feeling.

I hope the writing helps you. I went through a lot of anger and also went through a phase of feeling like if someone hadn't had a loss they didn't "earn" their healthy baby. It's normal, hun, try not to beat yourself up too much about it. I'm sure the fact that you have to wait to TTC again is taking a toll on you as well. Just do what you need to do to get through it. I hope the journal will help you at least not take it out on your husband, though. Fell free to post ventings here. In fact, I just had an idea for a thread I'll start in a minute...

Originally Posted by 214momtobe

I am feeling worried that I if I do get pregnant again, I will be nervous and scared every single second (I AM already a worrier) and so I am just realizing that this may be a HUGE problem. Glad to be thinking about this before I am pregnant again-So I can maybe figure out some healthy ways to deal with this kind of anxiety!

I'm a worrier and, although I'm scared in a way I never thought possible, I'm actually handling this pregnancy a lot better than I thought I would. One thing about having a loss is that a good doctor will go out of his/her way to reassure you. My doctor has no interpersonal skills but tested my doubling rates for my hCG, tested my progesterone, put me on progesterone supplements even though she didn't think I needed them because I was worried about it, and gave me an early ultrasound to let me see the heartbeat. I saw a loss counselor at a local women's mental health clinic and she had me doing a lot of relaxation techniques to help me through the pregnancy. And you will get pregnant again. Most women get pregnant with their rainbow babies within 6 months of a loss.

Originally Posted by Krisnina

I'm feeling guilty. I'm feeling sorry for myself. The worst thing is that a friend's two year old child went missing yesterday and still has not been found. She is going through the worst thing I can ever imagine and I still find myself feeling bad that I am not longer pregnant. I keep telling myself that nothing can be as bad as what she is going through, but then secretly wanting to tear up for my loss. Life just seems so unfair sometimes. It might just be that I am upset for my friend and just everything is upsetting me or maybe it is just a little bit of everything.

Your poor friend and family! I hope they find her child! My thoughts and prayers go out to them!

I know it's hard, but you are also grieving the loss of your child. Even though your baby wasn't born yet, you still lost your child. That doesn't make your grief any less important than your friend's. It's just different.

Originally Posted by Augie

Depressed.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Originally Posted by EverydayJoy

Feeling like I've been trying to cope in unhealthy ways with this. It's been 2, almost 3 months now and I'm still very bitterly angry about it. I feel tense all the time and end up snapping at hubby. Plus we've had some extra stressors lately with hubby hurting his back and being out of work, and him wondering about his mom, etc.
I read some articles last night about grieving and getting stuck in the process and I think I'm just trying to feel "normal" and not have to deal with the sadness or pain, and the anger helps me do that. But, then it has a bad aftereffect of me hurting DH's feelings and being tense all the time. So, it's not really working for me. I read that it can help to just write about your worst feelings for about 20 min a day for at least 4 days and it can reduce your overall stress and give you a better handle on stuff. I wrote some last night and I think I'll do more.

DH doesn't seem to understand why I'm having such a hard time with this. Today he tried to carefully say his thoughts, how it was only with us for such a short time, we can try again, etc, basically saying "I don't understand your feelings" and that he knows he's a guy so it's different. I just wish he had some clue why I'm feeling what I'm feeling.

It is hard for men to fully understand. I believe that's because for us it was physical and for them they didn't have as much of a connection.

Originally Posted by 214momtobe

I am feeling worried that I if I do get pregnant again, I will be nervous and scared every single second (I AM already a worrier) and so I am just realizing that this may be a HUGE problem. Glad to be thinking about this before I am pregnant again-So I can maybe figure out some healthy ways to deal with this kind of anxiety!



ARGH-SO SAD-JUST SAW THE TICKER(DIDNT TAKE IT OFF YET) WILL DO NOW

Trying after having a loss is a very difficult process. The best thing that helps me is to remember that every pregnancy is different.

Originally Posted by Krisnina

I'm feeling guilty. I'm feeling sorry for myself. The worst thing is that a friend's two year old child went missing yesterday and still has not been found. She is going through the worst thing I can ever imagine and I still find myself feeling bad that I am not longer pregnant. I keep telling myself that nothing can be as bad as what she is going through, but then secretly wanting to tear up for my loss. Life just seems so unfair sometimes. It might just be that I am upset for my friend and just everything is upsetting me or maybe it is just a little bit of everything.

Guilt is a HUGE part of the grieving process. I know that you feel for your friend for that horrible predicament but you also are grieving the loss of your child. That is normal even though it might not feel like it.

Originally Posted by Augie

Depressed.

If you ever need to talk I'm here!

[EverydayJoy]

Thanks Katie and Robyn.