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I was 19 weeks pregnant with a little boy, Garren. We lost him on 4/19, due to cystic fibrosis. He was with us for three hours, it was so hard to say good-bye. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be happy again. I feel like I want to be pregnant again, but I am not sure that it would be good emotionally. I just feel so empty.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I know what you mean about feeling empty. It's horrible being pregnant one minute and the next to have nothing. I'm sorry your little Garren wasn't able to stay with you. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing you're not alone here.
My Cora died at 38 weeks, and as scary as it was, being pregnant again brought back my hope. It's different for everyone, but I truly do not believe that waiting any longer than we did would have helped me heal any better. Give yourself a little time to recover physically and think about it then to see how you feel. Nothing will ever bring Garren back, and you won't be the same person you were before, but you can find happiness again. It'll probably take a while before you don't feel guilty for feeling happy in the moment, but with time you'll learn how to be happy again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Do what you feel you need to do in order to grieve. There is no right way or wrong way right now. As for getting pregnant again, I agree with Brittanie that it does give me hope to be pregnant again, but it is also very scary. The way I saw it was that when the thought of being pregnant again brought some excitement to me instead of just fear, I was emotionally ready to TTC again.
I am so so sorry! The feelings you are having are normal. I know for me trying again was a part of my grieving process. If you ever need to talk you can always PM me hun. Here is some information too that might help you.
I am sorry for your loss We recently lost a little boy Noah at 16 weeks. You aren't alone
__________________ Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened! step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20) step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)
On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3