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My friend who is pregnant and only 2.5 weeks ahead of where I should be with Gabriel still makes it so hard for me to talk to her sometimes. I know she doesn't realize how it makes me feel, but when I talk about things like feeling like I was popping she tells me that "Oh, I thought I popped at the same time, but I didn't. I really popped at xx weeks." It hurts so badly! While it kind of scares me that things are happening for me a little early because it makes me wonder how big I'll get, I'm also very happy about it because I should have experienced these things months ago. A tiny part of me feels like popping early, leaking colostrum early, etc...is a little way my body has of helping me "catch up" to where I "should" be. I don't want to be told "oh, you didn't really pop." I want to be told "that's great!! I'm happy for you that you've popped!" It's part of why I'm being open about my loss. I'm hoping that by being open it'll help people understand it more for others.
Thanks, Joy. I know she doesn't mean to be hurtful, and we're both people who say what we think and I've told her that it's hurtful and she's trying to get better. She just doesn't understand and I honestly hope she never does because that means she'd have to experience a loss herself.
I'm glad you're able to be honest with her and let her know when something hurts.
I know for me I would never have understood all the little things that can hurt until I had a loss myself. I never knew it went this deep, or that it was this pervasive. It touches every part of your life.