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Good question! Since I literally have not been pregnant for only a few days, I'm actually grateful to have a hiatus from the whole thing, although I'm still at the point where when I see other pregnant women or hear about people I know finding out they are, I'm happy for them, but also sad for myself.
As far as the thought of becoming pregnant again, I am cautiously optimistic and hope to start again as soon as I get the clear, although I'm nervous it will take a while, because of my age (36), although with both other pregnancies, we were blessed to have it happen on the first try. I know I need to be realistic that it could take us longer this next time and most likely will, but I hope I don't get too discouraged and let it overrun my life if/when I don't...
Haven't even begun to allow myself to think about what I'd do if we were to get pregnant again and have another m/c. Maybe just take our losses and adopt a puppy!
For me after so many losses I fear pregnancy. The thought of becoming pregnant scares the crap out of me. BUT I know in my heart that I'm meant to be a mother. Not trying is not an option for me until I exhaust all efforts.
My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11
I'm scared to get pregnant again. I have had 3 healthy pregnancies and 3 healthy babies, and then I miscarriaged twins. So I really don't understand how this happened. But I know that I want to add another child to our family. Will I be worried? Yes, but I know this is what we want and I would rather have a positive outlook on the situation than a negative one.
I feel discouraged about becoming pregnant again, mostly because I know my emotional state is not a good one and I feel like it's going to be a long time before I'm at a place where I feel like I'm emotionally healthy enough to attempt pregnancy. Also our finances are bad and I don't want to bring a baby into that either. So I figure I'll be waiting awhile. And it hurts when someone says "you just weren't ready before and God knew that" because sometimes I think I agree with that statement, seeing how I fell apart after the m/c happened. If I'm just barely maintaining as it is now, with a two year old that's an easy-going laid-back kid, how would I be functioning with a newborn? I guess I'm just doubting myself.
Joy, it's a completely different kind of tough situation. If you still had Little Bud with you you'd be in such a happy place that I bet you wouldn't be falling apart the way you have. It's so much easier to push through challenges if you're in a happy place than a sad place.
I felt the same way as you ladies. I know that DH and I are meant to have this child and another one. As terrifying as the thought of another loss is, I know it'll be worth it to get that little bundle of joy in the end.
I don't think I could have handled TTC again without DH. He was so supportive and positive for me that he gave me that extra push when I was feeling that my desire to be a mom just wasn't enough. He had the excitement for TTC again. To me, it was a chore.
Now, I'm just trying to take it day by day and not give in to feelings of gloom. I do still have those feelings and it helps to write in my journal, or post in PMAL, but it is getting easier. I still feel like I'll never get over losing my Gabriel, though. It also makes me scared to try for baby #2 (I was so hoping to have fraternal boy/girl twins and be one and done!) because I'm scared of going through more losses to get that baby. But I guess I'll just have to do the same taking it day by day when it's time to cross that bridge.
I'm glad your DH is so supportive. It helps to have someone cheering you on!
Is there something more you could do to memorialize Gabriel right now? To help you feel like he is remembered? It does help me to look at my little shadow box of Little Bud's things. It also helps me to wear the necklace and be able to touch it any time during the day, or look at it and remember. It makes me feel like she is not forgotten.