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My daughter just found out she miscarried for the second time. The first time it was at 18 weeks and it was terrible for her emotionally and for her body since the missed placenta inside her for 3 months after... This time she tested right away before her periods was even late her husband just left the week prior for Kuwait.
So she saw the doctor at 7 weeks and all seemed well just by feel and so on. She was 10 weeks when she had spot of blood and freaked out, came home to show me and it was literally the size of a piece of rice( if that) I told her they will not be concerned with that and to please relax. Well since her pg symptoms were so much stringer ths time around she felt pretty good about the pg and told a few friends took a pic of her tiny belly etc. but still insist her Dr see her about the bleeding, (she switched doctors for this pg). He scheduled an u/s fr that Friday. She went in alone cause she was feeling great (by last period she was 10w5d) and was not to concerned anyone just excited to see baby.
The Sono tech starts and says right away , how far along are you? Se said almost 11 weeks, and the tech said yeah well i am not seeing that at all, I don't see anything ?? Then she said maybe some tissue but nothing else, said l will zoom in and turn up volume, nothing! She walked away called in the dr at the Sono place he looked at the screen said looks like you were probably pg maybe 7 weeks baby stopped growing, sorry. Walked out the tech called her doctor and he said send her right over he told er there was no heartbeat and he could do a d&c right then, or she could wait a week and if nothing happened naturally have it thursday. She opted to wait not wanting the d&c.
okay so now she is of course hurt and confused finding it hard to except with no signs and just wants it to happen natural , wednesday the day before d&c she went in to doctor to ask a few questions to help with her piece of mind before, she asked for another u/s to confirm and if her blood test showed lower levels... He laughed at her and told her no, there is no reason for another u/s and never answered about the blood.
She is just wanting confirmation and piece of mind, I never been though it and can't imagine the confusion when your body is telling you one thing and you know another. So now at 12 weeks no natural miscarriage, no d&c and no one sign of anything happening, her pg symptoms are still there but no longer sick. She thought yesterday at work she started bleeding to go to the bathroom and find white creamy vaginal fluid (sorry tmi) no blood at all no discoloration , is that what happens first ? She is tired alot which I read can be typical days before the miscarriage happens but I have no clue?? Any opinions at all? Is the fear and unsure to have the d&c normal, she is crazy to want a confirmation u/s?
Sorry so long but I am hoping someone can help with there info and opinions.. Oh and one more ... I have also read that is common to see baby with abdominal u/s at 10 + weeks but for some women not until after 12 weeks, why did they not use the tranvaginal ? It that common too?
I guess she knows her baby is gone but just wants to be sure before the procedure
First off I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this.
I had the same kind of situation where I thought I was 12 weeks pregnant but the US said 7 weeks and no heartbeat. I too wanted to wait at home, and the ER told me that was fine, that usually at that size you can pass it naturally at home. I think it's perfectly natural and normal to want to be really, really sure that that the baby was for sure passed away and no chance it could still be alive before a D&C is performed. I can't believe the doctor laughed at your daughter---laughed at her---when she asked for some confirmation for her peace of mind. That's cruel and heartless. My opinion---she should change doctors asap and get one that has some compassion and sympathy for women going through this sort of thing. So long as she isn't getting an infection or having some other sort of problem she should be allowed to wait as long as she needs to before she makes a decision to have a D&C. Also I would have her talk to a *new* doctor about what to expect if she miscarries at home. She can get pain medication prescribed to her--sometimes during a natural miscarriage a woman can get actual labor pains as the body works on passing the baby. There's no reason she has to suffer through that pain...when I was in the ER they wrote me an Rx for pain meds in case I needed them.
The other option she should be offered is that if she doesn't want the D&C but her body needs some help getting the process started, they have medication that can induce the m/c process and she should still be able to do it at home if she wants.
Sometimes the body just doesn't recognize that the baby has passed away and it hangs on to the pregnancy. From what it seemed like, it was 5 weeks from when my baby passed to when my body started the m/c process. In the meantime I still had pregnancy symptoms--morning sickness, tender and swollen breasts, tiredness, etc. So her body may not have recognized what has happened yet and that's why she's still experiencing symptoms. I think she should be allowed to wait as long as she feels she wants to so long as her health is not jeapordized. I would have preferred to m/c at home, ended up that I had unusual complications that required an emergency D&C, so that choice was taken away from me. I really wished I could have done it at home and had a chance to say goodbye to my little one. As it was, I never got a chance to see it. I did also experience some anger (which is probably natural) that the hospital took my baby away from me, so to speak. At the same time I know it couldn't have happened any other way so I don't have any guilt that somehow it was my fault or that I killed the baby by having the D&C. So I think it's important for your daughter to be able to feel comfortable with the choice to have the D&C so she is not burdened by guilt or having that tiny doubt...what if the baby was alive? That would be awful to feel that way, and if a blood test and another U/S can take those feelings away, then that's great and should be encouraged. Whatever method makes her feel the most comfortable or reassured that she's doing the right thing...that's what she should do.
Please encourage her to get a new doctor!! This guy sounds like a real jerk!!!
Hugs to you and your daughter...I hope she can make it through this tough time.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions...another good thing is to look over the links for m/c info...JustMommies: (What to Expect After a Miscarriage or Pregnancy Loss Diagnosis) And for natural m/c, here's another link: JustMommies: (Natural Miscarriage: What to Expect)
Good luck, I hope that wasn't too much information.
Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
Last edited by EverydayJoy; June 2nd, 2012 at 11:21 PM.
Thank you so much for your reply, my heart is breaking for her and i want her mind as at ease as possible. She found another doctor willing to give her another u/s to ease her racing mind. Thanks again
I am so sorry that your daughter is going through this. I agree with Joy on everything. I hope your daughter can do it naturally and her body does it soon so she can start to grieve for her baby. Your daughter can also make an account here and talk to us. Sometimes it helps talking to others who have gone though/are going through the same thing. How she is feeling is totally normal.
My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11