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All is well physically. I've already stopped bleeding and the Dr said that I was fine to start TTC if I wanted as soon as I have a regular period. I'm not sure what I want to do yet. I took some birth control pill samples but I'm not sure I'm going to use them. I think we may NTNP for a bit and see how that goes.
I'm still a haze of emotion. I'm just not sure how to feel about it. Sometimes I'm sad, sometimes angry, sometimes just numb. I realize it wasn't my fault and that it was nothing I did but it's so hard not to wonder why me. It's just the end of so many dreams. I'm lucky that I already have a child, unlike so many ladies, and she's wonderful but it just feels like there is something missing now.
TTCAL is such a mix of emotions. There is no right answer here it's just continuing to take it day by day. For me, the first month trying again was the hardest. I think if you can, NTNP would probably be healthy. I emotionally wasn't able to handle not doing everything possible to get pregnant again. I felt like when the idea of being pregnant again made me more excited than scared, I was ready to actively TTC again.
The roller coaster of emotions is hard. I'm glad you're able to intellectually know that this is not your fault, even if sometimes the emotional side makes it harder to remember that.