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Yesterday was the 1 month 'anniversary' of being told our baby had passed and started the waiting game of the miscarriage. It's been 13 days since I passed the baby.
Went to the Dr. on Friday and after the ultrasound where the tech assured me that everything seems to have passed, the Dr started telling me about Choriocarcinoma and hcg levels... basically scared the living sh*t out of me for no reason since my hcg level came back at 19 today and she said there is no reason to worry or re-test the levels... well thanks for that awesome weekend scare!!
She said whenever I have my period we have the go-ahead to start trying again if we'd like. I guess I could now if I really wanted, but for dating purposes it would be best to wait. Well, that and I'm not sure when we will be trying again. The original plan before this was November, but now I am just so emotionally and mentally down that I'm not sure. I thought after having 2 healthy kids I wouldn't ever have another miscarriage... but was cruelly corrected on that logic!
Not sure I could handle another loss, and hubby is saying we should wait until we buy a house and have more money on hand. Don't get me wrong, we don't struggle, but he'd like to pay off the credit cards first and be more secure... which I understand, but my emotions go back and forth between wanting another immediately and being so scared to ever try for another... so probably it is best to at least wait a few more months. Although since I can't use most b/c because of the blood clotting disorders, and the pill obviously does not work since I got pregnant on it (used correctly) and we both hate condoms... that doesn't leave many b/c options besides FAM and the pull out. Oh well, I guess if it happens it happens.
I decided to try counseling, the first session is on August 2nd and it's a group of parents that have also suffered miscarriages and child loss. I am hoping it does me some good because I am tired of being so depressed and emotional.
Angel Baby #1 - 12/29/2003 (9 weeks, lost baby at 6-7 weeks)
Angel Baby #2 - 7/10/2012 (11 weeks 5 days, lost baby at 6 weeks 1 day)
I went to counseling for women who have suffered a miscarriage and it helped me a lot. I hope it does the same for you. The way I looked at it, when the thought of being pregnant again made me excited more than made me feel scared, I was ready to TTC again. Of course I didn't wait for that, but I do feel like I was in a better place emotionally once I reached that point.
I have not done counseling but I know many women who have and it has helped them a lot. Only you can determine when the time is right for you to try again. I hope that AF arrives for you quickly and your decision as to when to try brings you peace.
My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11
I didn't do counseling after the loss but I think it should help you a lot. I think you should take all the time you need before starting to try again. Whenever you decide it's right, is when it should happen. I really wish that none of us ever experienced loss. It really makes subsequent pregnancies terrifying and has us losing our faith in "things working out" in the end. I wish I still had that innocence and lack of fear but none of us will ever be able to afford that luxury ever again. You are in my thoughts and prayers.