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Hi everyone. I just found out this week that we have a blighted ovum. I'm only 6 weeks along, but it was still not the news I was expecting to hear. Over the weekend I had a little bit of bleeding, but it was only a small amount and went away quickly. I scheduled an ultrasound for Monday, thinking that maybe they'd find a clot or something. I was not prepared for what I heard--there was an empty gestational sac with nothing--not even a yolk sac--in it. I'm going in again tomorrow for confirmation of the diagnosis, but I know what they're going to say. I haven't yet had the discussion with my RE about options, but because I'm having so much morning sickness now, the thought of going through it for WEEKS before naturally miscarrying is just unbearable. So I think I'm going to opt for the D&C, next week if my doctor will let me.
I'm simply devastated by this news. I once had a chemical pregnancy, but I started bleeding only 3 days after I got my positive hpt, so the bleeding was like a normal period and it was so early that I didn't really feel pregnant or start bonding with the embryo or anything. Since then, I've had 2 healthy babies. So I guess in my mind, if I got strong hcg results that doubled like they were supposed to, then I was out of the woods. Wrong. My hcgs were perfect. If not for that little bit of spotting, I'd be sitting here right now, nauseous and all, thinking that it's because I'm growing this perfect little baby. But no, I'm growing an empty sac. An empty sac that is making me sick.
What makes it even harder is that we have to do IUI with donor sperm just to get pregnant. So now we will have to wait a while before we try again (and I'm really impatient, so waiting for a while after the D&C is going to be torture), and it's going to cost a lot of money, and we are starting to run out of donor samples. I was really hoping that this would be the one--we were looking to have one more child, to complete our family, and this cycle was simply perfect. I mean, NOTHING (until now) went wrong. The meds worked just like they were supposed to, I triggered ovulation with one perfect follicle (I was terrified of twins, so this was great news), and the insemination was done on my wedding anniversary. It was like the stars aligned perfectly for us. And then we got the positive hpt, and it was a strong positive that kept getting stronger. Although I didn't announce our pregnancy to our families (thank God), I did purchase the t-shirts that I wanted my kids to wear when we made the announcements (you know, the "big brother" "big sister" t-shirts).
Anyway, sorry about the long rant, but I'm just starting to cope with this now. Yesterday I was in complete denial. Today I think I'm at the anger stage. I wasn't really planning on joining this board (I was stalking the March 2013 ddc), but I'm so glad you guys are here.
I am so very sorry your having to go through this. No one should ever have to go through this. What your feeling is normal hun. The anger stage for me was the worst. I was not just angry that I was going through the loss, I was angry at the world. We are here for you hun. I hope they allow you to do the D&C. For me that was easier that having to wait. My natural losses were harder on me physically and emotionally.
*Thank you *kiliki* for my lovely siggy*
My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11