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Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
November 12th, 2012, 03:29 AM
softbreeze's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I live in Saskatchewan Canada
Posts: 911
I was woken up tonight with some of the worst pain I have ever felt and I came and sat on the toilet just waiting for something to happen. I started to pass a lot of stuff which I assumed was blood clots as that was how it felt after my d&c. My dr had asked on fri that if I did pass any tissue to please try and collect it and bring it to her so they may be able to test from it to figure out why my babies keep passing away afyer having their hearts start. She assured me that since it had been almost a month since baby had died there would not be anything recognizable as a baby, just tissues. So I took some tongs and reached into the potty to see if I could retrieve anything for her and here I pull out a complete gestation sack. It is still full of amniotic fluid and there inside I can see my teeny tiny baby. Tiny but perfect. Little tiny arms complete with finger buds, leg stumps and two dark little eyes. I can see the start of the placenta attached to the outside of the sack still. I have been sitting here on my bathroom floor for three hours since 2am crying and staring at this amazing thing in a little dish in front of me. How could this have gone so wrong? My baby is incredible. This miracle I am holding in my hands is truly incredible. The thought of handing it over to my dr breaks my heart, but if it can help them to figure out why this keeps happening I have to. I truly want to bury my little angel. I am soo lost right now. I really need some thoughts on what you would do. Please.
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  #2  
November 12th, 2012, 05:12 AM
overlinmommy17's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Mt. Holly , NC
Posts: 955
Oh sweet heart i have cold chills reading this. I cannot imagine your despair. You are so so brave and such an amazing mommy. I couldnt have done that i dont think. I just dont know what to say for you to do. I can imagine making that decision. I am praying for strength and for God's healing arms to wrap around you. I am here for you.
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  #3  
November 12th, 2012, 02:29 PM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,764
So sorry!!! Its so tough!! I seen my complete sac, but I didn't look at it enough to pick out a baby or anything and mine was only 5 weeks developed so I doubt I would have seen much. It was like a clear sac the size of a marble with a red spot on one side. I couldn't help but picture the sac in the same place in the toilet every time I went to the washroom for a week later!
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  #4  
November 14th, 2012, 01:13 AM
Tree_Love's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Central California
Posts: 3,088
Oh my. This is exactly what I saw. I could only take a second of it before I left the room.... It is just so heartbreaking. I wish so bad I could just come hug you.
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  #5  
November 15th, 2012, 08:53 PM
softbreeze's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I live in Saskatchewan Canada
Posts: 911
I ended up taking my little angel in to my dr so pathology could do some tests. I decided I had my chance to see a true miracle- the very beginning of life and I would hold this angel in my heart forever with its siblings, so if giving up its teeny body could help us maybe figure out what went wrong, my heart was ok with that. When winter passes and spring is here, I have decided I am going to plant a weeping willow tree in our yard for all my angels, and my dd's can play there under their watchful eye. I pray for our rainbow baby soon. And my heart to start to heal
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  #6  
November 23rd, 2012, 08:03 PM
Regular
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 66
So sorry for your loss that is heartbreaking! Your precious baby is forever loved and watching over your family. When I lost my son at 18 weeks ( He was was born sleeping and the most beautiful amazing little Guy ever) A friend sent me a message that said, "An angel from abouve wrote down out baby's birth, then closed the book and whispered "too beautiful for Earth" I believe our precious beautiful babies were just to perfect for this world. Still it sucks I know
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