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Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
March 12th, 2013, 09:13 AM
StephanieMitchell's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 586
I had a bad dream last night that I just cant shake.
I dreamed that I had the baby. It was a little boy, and my fiance and I were taking turns holding him. We were calling him Alex. Then he started to cry, so I was going to breast feed him. Then this mean looking woman approached us, and simply said "times up". She took him out of my arms and left. I tried to go after her, but it was too late and they were gone. I remember feeling sad about it, but not angry. It wasnt like she kidnapped him, rather, I had a feeling like he was supposed to go with her, or thats just what was supposed to happen.
I woke up sobbing, and have been most of the day. Im mostly sad that Ive realized Ill never get to hold my baby...
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  #2  
March 12th, 2013, 04:02 PM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,721
I can remember waking up crying for many nights after my loss.
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  #3  
March 20th, 2013, 09:31 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,708
I know how those dreams can mess with your mind and make you wonder if they have some hidden relevance and meaning to them. I dream about my son almost every night and whether they are good dreams or bad they always make me cry. I was lucky enough to hold my son but I can tell you it's not enough. I'm glad I was able to, but there are so many things I missed with him that I wish I could have experienced at least once... Looking into his eyes, hearing him cry, listening to him breath as he sleeps, ect. Every single thing I was robbed of with my son I want so badly. I want my little boy! I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace and happiness.
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  #4  
March 21st, 2013, 07:30 AM
StephanieMitchell's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ame C View Post
I know how those dreams can mess with your mind and make you wonder if they have some hidden relevance and meaning to them. I dream about my son almost every night and whether they are good dreams or bad they always make me cry. I was lucky enough to hold my son but I can tell you it's not enough. I'm glad I was able to, but there are so many things I missed with him that I wish I could have experienced at least once... Looking into his eyes, hearing him cry, listening to him breath as he sleeps, ect. Every single thing I was robbed of with my son I want so badly. I want my little boy! I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace and happiness.
Im so sorry...I wish there was more I could say.
I understand your pain, I've had alot of those same thoughts. I wanted this baby so badly, and Ill never get a chance to know my child. I was so looking forward to middle of the night feedings and diaper changes, and kissing her/his little fingers and toes. Its just so hard.
I was watching Americas funniest home videos last night and there was a little boy on there who had just gotten his first pair of tennis shoes. He kept looking at his feet with the most confused look on his face and he would stand up, then plop back down on his butt. He did that several times. I know that it was supposed to be cute, and funny, but it just made me very sad for the rest of the night. Baby's first shoes... Thats something else I wont get to experience...
I just wonder how long it will be until Im able to function like a normal human being again, and stop dwelling on the the pain of my loss.
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  #5  
March 21st, 2013, 08:33 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,930
How heartbreaking it all is and continues to be for us all. The dreams, books, TV shows, pictures, departments in stores, family members who are expecting, the list goes on an on of people and places that make every minute pretty much miserable.
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