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Living before and after loss


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
March 18th, 2013, 05:50 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,953
I can't seem to live under the regular time/date method. It seems that everything is based on "before the MC" or "After the MC".

Where's the yogurt I bought before the MC? Oh, I'm sorry I ate it.

Did you clean the cat box? Yes right after the MC.

Did you pay the electric bill? Yes right before we found out about the baby.

Have you thought about what week you want to go on vacation? Yes I was thinking about it just before the MC.

I've done the dishes 5 times since the MC.

I'm struggling to live every day like it's a normal day. Does it ever get easier to focus on the task at hand and not dwell constantly on the loss?
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #2  
March 18th, 2013, 07:13 AM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,172
I am so sorry I feel pretty much the same. I just had a D&C done this past Saturday. I don't know how to go back to life before being pregnant. I don't want to go back to that life I am heartbroken right now. I feel like my life will never be the same.

Geez, I'm not much help to you, am I? I'm sorry!!!
I guess all I'm trying to say is that I know how you feel and you are not alone!
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  #3  
March 18th, 2013, 08:26 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,953
Oh no! I remember you from the Sept DDC. I'm so sorry you are now here. It's just not fair. I catch myself still rubbing my belly (which still sticks out a little) and it's been almost two weeks for me since my D&C.

And another part that sucks is now my body seems to be gearing up for AF, so I'm having all those lovely symptoms, which are SO much like Pregnancy symptoms. It's like a kick in the gut, each little reminder.
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #4  
March 19th, 2013, 06:04 AM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,172
I thought I recognized your user name. I'm so sorry I also still rub my belly. It's just not fair

I have mixed emotions about where to go fro here...moving on with my life or ttc again?
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  #5  
March 21st, 2013, 08:16 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,953
Yes. We don't know what to do either. We were given a second chance at life and TTC when we both survived Kidney disease and cancer. Now years later, we are facing the end of our reproductive years and with them, hope.

I find comfort in our son. But I grieve for what might have been and I wish I didn't.

I hope you and all us ladies find peace and solace. This is such a hard place to be.
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
Reply With Quote
  #6  
March 22nd, 2013, 07:12 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,611
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Hello, ladies. My name is Dawna and my daughter was born at 22 weeks almost eight years ago. I am so terribly sorry for each of your losses. Plans were lost. Futures, too. Not many people understand that. But, Angel Mommies only too well.

Your losses are still very recent and the pain immense. I know. But, you're trying to run already. You aren't at day by day, yet. You may be at minute by minute - I spent a lot of time at second by second...

It does get easier, I promise. But you aren't the same person you were before your loss... I know I'm not, anyway...

If you need to talk, I'm always here with two ears and a hug!

Hugs from Houston!
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  #7  
March 22nd, 2013, 08:18 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,953
Hi Dawna - thank you for posting your story. I remember you from some other boards I think. How can words express what you've gone through? I don't think they can. I feel selfish crying over my loss when you and Ame C lost your babies the way you did.

I don't expect to ever feel the same about anything anymore. I might be too old and set in my ways to be able to recover.

Are there ever moments of peace for you now? I hope so. I hope you have found a place of happiness and solace and peace and tranquility.
__________________
Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
Reply With Quote
  #8  
March 26th, 2013, 10:12 PM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Houston, TX
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I have found some peace but I still have my days. I actually refused a table at a restaurant today because they were putting me between two tables with babies...
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