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Hello to all. *miscarriage mentioned* (not sure if we have to say that here?)


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
March 23rd, 2013, 05:41 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Well, I'll start by saying I'm sorry to everyone here. And, honestly, I hate that I am here, and that anyone has to be here.

Some more about me.
My hubby and I have been married since 2008. We have wanted one of our own (my kids are from a previous marriage) since then. We started trying in May 2009. After a bunch of things, and then medical assistance we got our very first positive test on Feb 8 this year.

Basically they did an ultrasound on Friday, (I should have been almost 10 weeks) and they said the baby hadn't grown past 7 weeks, and that there was no cardiac activity. Baby must have passed very shortly after my last scan. They are sure, and without any growth at all, I feel confident that they didn't make a mistake. Really, they have been negative about how things looked from the first scan at 6 weeks, so I should have expected it.

Since it's been about two weeks, and I haven't even had a spot, and my hormones are still high, he felt that the wait for my body to pass things naturally could be long, and he said that that could be bad for me too. He was certainly open to not doing the d&c and waiting if I wanted to, but Ijust want this over with. My body isn't normal when it comes to expelling anything in there anyway, so I might as well have the surgery and move on.
I just feel like jeez, as if this isn't bad enough, they have to do surgery?? I wish I didn't, but I just want it over.

So now. I'm basically so so so sad. And angry. And bitter. And so SO scared that this was our only chance. Our only positive test that we'll ever see. This was SO hard. We heard a heartbeat twice. And now it's over.
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #2  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:23 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,692
My heart is hurting so badly for you. It must be so excruciatingly painful feeling as though your family isn't complete but struggling with issues, time limits and loss. T&P you get your rainbow baby and he/she heals some of the sorrow.
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  #3  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:43 PM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,172
Hi Susan, this is Samantha. We know each other from the Oct DDC and I'm so incredibly sorry that you are joining us here. I haven't even been able to bring myself to write my introduction on this board. I just had my D&C a week ago. Sending you lots of hugs. PM me if you want to chat, vent, need someone to talk to about the D&C etc.
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  #4  
March 23rd, 2013, 07:33 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,887
I'm so sorry you are here Susan. It's not fair. You hear it all the time, "if you hear the heartbeat then the chances of miscarriage goes WAY down". Yeh, right. I wish they would just come clean and say "No one knows what's going to happen. There are no guarantees for anyone."

I understand what you mean about having the last positive test. I don't blame you for feeling that way. You are so sad right now. You are experiencing one of the worst things that a woman can experience. It's impossible to look at the future and think everything is going to be great.

So don't. Don't try to look ahead, just take care of today. Just remember to breathe. Post as much as you need and we'll be here to listen.
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  #5  
March 24th, 2013, 04:51 AM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,670
So sorry you have to come here!! Thinking of you!!
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  #6  
March 24th, 2013, 11:36 AM
Minnerva's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 142
I'm sorry. :-( Sucks that you have to be here, but we're here for you.

Is misoprostol an option? I was supposed to go tomorrow to get misoprostol inserted, since I was pretty against a D&C. But my miscarriage started Thursday, so I guess I don't need to go now.

Did your doctor tell you the risks of waiting for it to start on its own? Or is a psychological thing, the waiting and not knowing and all that crap?
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  #7  
March 25th, 2013, 11:05 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minnerva View Post
I'm sorry. :-( Sucks that you have to be here, but we're here for you.

Is misoprostol an option? I was supposed to go tomorrow to get misoprostol inserted, since I was pretty against a D&C. But my miscarriage started Thursday, so I guess I don't need to go now.

Did your doctor tell you the risks of waiting for it to start on its own? Or is a psychological thing, the waiting and not knowing and all that crap?
Hi. I know you from the oct 13 board. Of the three of us in limbo, two are here now. I'm still hoping for marchmom... I'm so sorry for you. We should still all be there together.

My dr was totally willing to wait if I wanted to see if things went naturally, but he suggested the d&c. It's been two weeks, almost 3 since the baby passed, but I haven't even had one spot, and my hormones are still high. My body does not normally 'clear things' the way it should, and this is the best way to make sure it will all be out and clear. He said that even if the miscarriage started, that I should still be in the hospital for them to check and make sure all is good. My body just doesn't do 'natural'.

But if all that weren't the case, I might still go for it, because I simply just want it all over.
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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