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Why does this upset me so much??


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  • 1 Post By islandbaby

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  #1  
March 28th, 2013, 12:14 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,730
Tom had to take a day off from work for the d&c so he could drive me and take me home, and he just wanted to be there for me.
He told them I needed gall bladder surgery. Because he says 'I didn't want to talk about it'.

For some reason this is horrible to me. I'm so upset about it. I can't even decide why. I just want to be fine again
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #2  
March 28th, 2013, 01:58 PM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,172
I'm so sorry this is bothering you

In my case, no one knew that I was pregnant and I actually wanted to keep it that way. The only way I wanted to 'announce' anything was going to be if it was good news. I did not want to tell any of my friends or family about my loss. I only told the ones who already knew about the pregnancy and even then I just felt like none of them understood me.

I hope that maybe you can talk to your husband about why it is bothering you!

Sending you lots of HUGS!!!
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  #3  
March 28th, 2013, 03:41 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,334
I imagine it upsets you because nobody should have to keep a secret so excruciatingly painful as yours.

In my experience everyone in my life knows I lost my son, but I'm still not able to open up to them as much as I would like to. It's just like Samantha said, "I just feel like none of them understand me."... because they don't. No one in my family has suffered a loss like mine and when I go to my family to grieve and cry they tell me things like I should talk to a professional about it. I shouldn't have to pay someone to care about my heartache! I should be able to open up to those who are close to me without them making me feel like I'm crazy!!

None of us ladies should be made to feel so alone and misunderstood, but I think for a lot of us, we are.
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  #4  
March 28th, 2013, 05:38 PM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ame C View Post
I imagine it upsets you because nobody should have to keep a secret so excruciatingly painful as yours.
None of us ladies should be made to feel so alone and misunderstood, but I think for a lot of us, we are.
I completely agree!!! In a perfect world, I would not want to keep this secret. The thing is, the reality is that I don't want to be the talk of the town and I don't want all the judgement which comes with telling people. I also feel like if someone hasn't gone through a loss like ours, it is impossible for them to understand. Only the ones who have truly felt this pain for themselves can understand. That's just how I feel
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