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I wasn’t going to do anything at first. But the more I think about it, the more I want to do something. My body is back to normal. My bras and jeans fit again. I feel like there’s no evidence this baby even existed now. But he did! I want to remember.
I think I want a good quote or song lyric piece that says how I’m feeling. Not sure if I’d like a little tattoo of it, or a plaque or jewelry or something. I like the windchime idea, but I want it to last longer than that…
I have a garden stone from each of my kids that they made for mother’s day one year. Maybe I will have the quote on a garden stone to go with them.
__________________ Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean
I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
I think that's a great idea! I'm not creative at all, to tell you the truth I do like this one poem that I read here on JM...let me find it for you...(Be warned, you will more than likely cry when reading this!)
What Makes A Mother~
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can He replied With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile With other children and say
"We go to earth and learn our lessons Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear
"Mommy don't be sad today I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of Right from the very start.
I really want to get it framed and put it next to my bed.
Also, for me personally, the song lyrics that keep going through my head are the ones I happened to hear when I was in the waiting room for my ultrasound and I already knew in my heart something was wrong. The two lines from the song that I keep replaying are, "Don't you worry, don't you worry child. Heaven's got a plan for you." I don't know why, but these words give me some peace!
Someone shared that poem with me shortly after losing my son, I love it so much!
I have a necklace with Clyde's name on it that I haven't taken off since I first put it on. I'm sure there will be many other things as the years go on. I also thought about getting a tattoo. A tattoo of a dandelion with a few fuzzy seeds caught in the breeze but I'm not sure yet what it should say.. maybe "Wish you were here" or "With every breath, I wish for you". I also want to get a tattoo of a small, blue colored baby dinosaur because Clyde's nursery theme was dinosaurs and we went a little crazy with dino clothes, stuffed animals, and everything else. That tattoo could stand alone or could have a few little dino foot prints and say something like "You left tiny tracks on my heart". But this is coming from someone who has NO tattoos at all, so who knows if I will ever actually get them.
Last edited by Ame C; April 7th, 2013 at 01:35 AM.