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New here, but my second loss :( (long)


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
September 23rd, 2013, 10:52 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 419
I have one healthy DS who just turned 2. We got pregnant easily with him and had an uneventful pregnancy, so we stupidly assumed TTC #2 would be as easy. We didn't get pregnant as quickly, but soon thereafter, and were so happy. But then my test was lighter not darker the next day, and I knew from there that things would not end well. I had a chemical in June.

Exactly two months after my loss we found out we were pregnant again! This time I tested obsessively and the lines darkened, my betas doubled, and I was puking and was so exhausted I could barely function. I was super nervous but trying to stay positive. My first sono was scheduled for Friday, but I started spotting red on Tues night and freaked out and automatically assumed the worst. We moved up my appt to Wednesday and to our surprise we saw a baby with a heartbeat! We were so happy! I cried and we told my parents a few hours later. I had told myself I would relax and enjoy this pregnancy once we saw a heartbeat so I was. Finally. But as soon as my parents left I went to the bathroom and there was blood. A lot more than there had been the night before. I immediately freaked out again, but friends assured me that bleeding in pregnancy is common and normal, and my OB assured me that everything was fine as we had just seen the heartbeat a few hours earlier. He said I could come back in again for another sono for peace of mind, so we decided to go the next day. I was nervous but this time I believed everything was OK. Well, we started the sono and I could tell immediately there wasnt a heartbeat anymore. I had seen it right away the day before. The doctor checked and then checked again. Then he confirmed that the baby had died. We were in shock, heartbroken, and I was in denial. How could it be happening again?

My OB scheduled a D&C for today, because he wanted to do chromosomal testing on the baby. I went in for presurgical testing and as we finished up I started cramping and was worried about what if I couldnt make it the weekend. What do I do? I went to the bathroom while waiting for my OB to call back and ended up passing the baby and the placenta in the toilet. I freaked out and scooped them out of the toilet into a specimin cup. OB on call (my doctor was out of town for the weekend) sent me to the ER where I waited 4 hours desperate for someone to take the baby for testing before it was too late. I left before a sono (would have been even longer) and opted to go in this AM for the appt I already had for a sono as part of the pre-D&C procedure. Luckily my OB examined me and said I passed everything. My bleeding has tapered down to spotting, and I am hoping it will stop soon. Then the wait for AF... and the wait for the testing results. If they are normal my OB wants to send me for testing since this is my second loss now. I am so nervous and we dnt have any IF coverage. I really dont want to have a third MC.

I am so so so sad. Everyone I know is pregnant or just had a baby. And my SIL is 9cm right now and about to give birth to my niece. We visit them in a week and I know its going to be really hard, especially since we were planning a cute way to share our happy news during that trip.

I just cant believe its over
__________________
Married 5 years <3

#1: DS born 8.25.11 at 40w1d
#2: chemical pregnancy 6.26.13 at 4w3d
#3: miscarriage after heartbeat 9.20.13 at 7w (trisomy 14)
#4: chemical pregnancy 12.2.13 at 5w
#5: hoping this is my RAINBOW baby. EDD 10.17.14

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