[Babydoll]

Well, here I am. One month since that little blob just fell out. It was a month ago yesterday that we found out and then the next day it appeared that the embryo just fell out. My doctor said that it sounded exactly like what it was, but still saw a pregnancy on the ultrasound, so thought it may have been twins and we hadn't found out yet. The D&C came a few days later. But one month ago I saw my baby and it wasn't alive or in me any more. I feel okay sometimes, but I know I'm just not myself anymore. We want a child so badly, and what's worse, is that I want that baby or those babies.
Lord give me the strength....

[beck12]

I'm so sorry. I too m/c about the same time as you & they believed I was carrying twins as well. Any milestone is hard - 1 month, 2 months, & then you thin about how far along you would be. I occassionally apparently even like to torture myself a bit by looking at gestational pictures of where I would be now if things had gone as I had hoped. Just now you're defiantely not alone - and that the pain you feel is sacred & those babies belonged to you even after they were gone - they were a part of your life * will always be. Don't ever feel like you have to ignore that or down play it. I pray that you (and all of us) will find very deep healing & a sense of peace about all of this.

[Cmdwt102602]

I am so sorry for your loss and the hard times you are going through. It's not easy. I always think about how far along I would be and how I'd be feeling the baby kicking and moving, ect. It's hard not to think about it. We all built dreams, dreams that were supposed to be forever. My situation was a bit different but all the feelings and pain are the same. I often wonder if I should be handling this better because I knew. At 9wks I found out the heartbeat was gone, the baby measured 8wks 6days so they told me it would have just happened that day or the day before. I didn't naturally miscarry until I was 13 wks, 4 wks after finding out. So I had time to try to grasp what had happened. But I didn't and I was in denial. But I always think I should've handled this better, I should've been prepared. But it still hurts and is very hard at times. Like you, sometimes I feel ok but the pain is always there and there is a piece of me missing. The Lord gives you strength and when you feel you need more and someone to lean on, we are all here for you. I hope things get easier for you (((hugs)))