I'm so sorry for your loss! Trust me, no one ever expects to be on this board, but unfortunately, this is were a lot of us do end up at some point. the good thing? It's full of wonderful women who have all been through the same thing and are such a great support. After my loss, my DH just didn't seem to understand the level of grief I was going through, but all the ladies here did. I don't know what I would've done without these girls.
DH and I decided we were ready for baby #2, and I went off BC back in December of last year. Around the second week of February, I realized I was late, and took a test, and sure enough, I was pregnant. We were just shocked. I mean, I got pregnant fast with DD, but that was like 5 years ago. I'm older now, have thyroid issues, we were just thinking that things would take longer this time. But it sunk in, we were pretty excited that we were so lucky to not struggle with infertility issues. But when we went in for our first apt and u/s, all the tech saw was an empty sac, no baby. I was pretty sure of my dates, especially based on when I got my first positive pregnancy test. The doc told me she wanted to do another u/s in a week to make sure, but was pretty sure I was experiencing a blighted ovum. I went back in a week, and sure enough, same thing, a big empty hole on the screen where the little bean should've been. I was just devastated. I opted for the D&C so that I could get on with my life. She said that if I decided to wait to m/c naturally it could take weeks, or even a month or more. I couldn't wait that long. I wanted to TTC again as soon as possible. So, 2 days later, I had my D&C. I have to agree with the others, it was such an easy procedure. I have had surgeries before, nothing serious, but at least the fear of being put under wasn't really there. I just remember being upset sitting in the little room waiting for the surgery. This nurse was telling me about support groups and other things dealing with pregnnacy loss, I only half heard what she said. DH just sat there reading a book, I was hating him at that moment because he didn't seem more upset. I was hating the nurse because I just didn't want her talking to me or telling me how sorry she was I was hating EVERYONE because of what I had to go through. I woke up crying. I felt so empty, just knowing it was all over. They brought me to recovery, and there came DH holding a big bouquet of flowers and my Mom told me how he had just paced the floor the entire time I was in there that he was so worried about me. We just hugged each other, and I could tell that he was fighting tears finally as well. Boys!
But 5 weeks later AF returned, and after a few cycles of my body trying to return to normal, I got a BFP in June, and am now over 16 weeks pregnant, with no issues so far. That first u/s this time was quite a sight. I was so scared, but once we saw that little bean and that healthy little heartbeat, I was so happy.
It does get easier. You'll never forget. But the pain gets easier.
I hope that seeing many of us that have gone on to so far have a successful pregnancy can give you hope as well. I'm not even halfway through this one yet, but I am pretty relaxed about it all now. I've begun to feel this little one move, and I am confident I'll be meeting this kiddo in February!
Feel free to come here and let it all out as much as you need to!! We understand!
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