We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Hey, I haven't been on this board before and prayed that I never would have to visit it but nevertheless..I am here now.
We went for our 3rd ultrasound this morning to check on our little peanut and there wasn't a heartbeat.
I can't believe this is happening. I can't help but wonder if I did something wrong. This is my 3rd pregnancy and from the begining something didn't feel right about it. I keep telling myself it wasn't meant to be but it isn't helping at all.
I am going in tomorrow morning to see my dr at 8am and they are talking about doing the dnc at noon tomorrow. I am SO scared! I have never had surgery before. I have never been knocked out. I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow. I wish I could just wake up and it would be 6 months from now so I don't have to deal with this horrible ordeal that is going to take place tomorrow. Please, any words of advice that you may have that could possibly help me through this a little would be appreciated. Please share any of your experiences with a dnc so I have a better idea of what to expect tomorrow. Thanks in advance.
Look me up on Facebook - Meighan Hopper Bloomington, Illinois
I can't not tell you what to expect since I had a natural m/c, but I do want to send you some thoughts & prayers.
I wish you didnt have to post on this board, but I am hoping you will find it a source of comfort and support for as long as you need. Everyone is here for you..
You need to give yourself permission to feel the loss of your baby. Don't try to reason away your grief. You will heal faster emotionally by allowing yourself to feel the loss you are going through. If you don't want to get out of your PJ's one day and just want to lay in bed and cry... do it. It really does help. It took me at least a month to finally feel like I wasn't crying all the time. Eventually it does go away to a point. I still have days where I cry over my loss, but it doesn't last as long and is less frequent. Now 6 months later I usually smile when I think about my angel. Tomorrow would have been my Due Date...so I am sure I will be doing more crying than smiling...but that's okay too.
I understand your pain...and I wish no one else ever had to feel what we all have felt here on this board.
Here is my miscarriage story:
I was 14weeks when I lost my baby. I had an u/s at 11 1/2 weeks that showed a perfect little baby, but the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had an u/s just a week before and the baby was alive, healthy and kicking away. I chose to wait for a natural miscarriage. I HATE needles and did not want to have a D&C for personal reasons. Well at 14w my water broke and I had some pretty intense contractions. I bled really really bad for two days. I passed out twice from the blood loss and slept on my bathroom floor for two days because I was too weak to even lift my head off the floor. By the third day I was feeling a little better and the bleeding slowed way down. I knew it wasn't over yet though. Five days after I started bleeding I went in to the Dr's office and they did a u/s that showed the placenta still attached with blood still flowing to it. My cervix was still open and my body was refusing to give up. I was told I HAD to have a D&C at that point or risk serious infection. I cried...but decided I would have the D&C and finally be able to let my body heal.
I have to tell you the D&C was so easy for me. The worst part was the IV.
I went in at 4:00pm. I went into an office at the hospital and they had me fill out insurance info and read some papers. I also signed the forms they needed signed.
Then they took me to a normal looking hospital room and had me get undressed and into a gown. They also had me put on slippers. While in that room they took my bloodpressure, temp, and started the IV. I cried during the IV part because I really do hate needles and was pissed off at the world for having to go through all that. About 10 minutes later they came to take me to surgery. I laid in the bed that was in the room and they wheeled me down to a different part of the hospital. Dave was with me the entire time and they let him come with me to the holding room too. We went into the holding room and I met the anestesialist...okay I can't spell that! LOL He discussed how the medicine would work and let me ask questions. I also met with my doctor at that point and he went over what would happen and what to expect. He also let me ask questions. At that point they started the drugs and I was feeling a little groggy, but still with it. They took me to surgery just a few minutes after that. Dave was sent to the waiting room at that point with my purse and clothes.
The actual D&C....
at this point I was really groggy. I remember being asked to move from the bed I was in to the table...which was more like a bed. It was padded and not too bad. They gave me lots of blankets because it is really cold in the operating room. That's all I remember. I don't remember being put in stirrups or anything at all. I just fell asleep.
I am told the procedure took 20 minutes.
I woke up in the recovery room. I woke up so happy. Which from what I hear from most people is unusual. Most women wake up crying. Funny thing is my ex-husband works for the hospital...but usually off site. I woke up and he was working on a computer across from my bed. He was the last person I ever expected to see. But it was nice. We are still friends and it was nice to have someone I spent half my life with right there. Anyways....I was feeling pretty good at first, but then felt a huge gush of blood. The nurse changed the pad on the bed and let me get dressed and put on a pad myself. At that point I asked for a pain killer. I knew I was going to need it. I was cramping pretty bad and why be in pain if you don't have to be? So she brought me a pain killer and some juice and crackers. At that point Dave was allowed to join me and just minutes later I was told it was okay to go home.
I was home and in my own bed by 6:00pm The next couple days the bleeding was light but then picked up again. I would go between gushes of blood to spotting. It lasted like that for two weeks. AF returned two weeks after that. 4 weeks after the D&C.
My doctor kept me out of work for a week. I work retail management and I am on my feet for 9 hours a day with just a lunch. Breaks are frowned upon. GRR So I told me doctor I really felt like I needed a week to recover. Not so much from the D&C but from the blood loss before the D&C.
I hope my story helps you relax a little about the actual procedure. It really wasn't bad. If you have any other questions at all...feel free to ask.
Now I will send you a TON of
You will get through this....your angel will take good care of his or her Momma. If you need anything.... we are all here for you.
__________________ Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (18) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (2)step-mom to: Stephany (22) and Krista (19) step-grandma to: Wesley (2)
On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
I had a d&c a few months ago due to some abnormal bleeding after the removal of my IUD. My experience was very similar to what Bobbie described. I'm not going to tell you not to worry but as far as proceedures go, this one was pretty easy. It took me a good 3 days to get all of the anesthetic out of my system but it was a piece of cake compared to what I went through in January with my gall bladder.
Aimee & Joe ~ 9/9/00
Sydney Kathryn arrived 3/29/05
Joseph David arrived 2/4/10
I'm so sorry for your loss.... I have just gone through a D&C last week... If you wopuld like to pm me feel free...... I'm not at the point yet where I'm ready to talk openly about it on a forum.... but am more than willing to answer any questions you may have
I'm so sorry for your loss! Trust me, no one ever expects to be on this board, but unfortunately, this is were a lot of us do end up at some point. the good thing? It's full of wonderful women who have all been through the same thing and are such a great support. After my loss, my DH just didn't seem to understand the level of grief I was going through, but all the ladies here did. I don't know what I would've done without these girls.
DH and I decided we were ready for baby #2, and I went off BC back in December of last year. Around the second week of February, I realized I was late, and took a test, and sure enough, I was pregnant. We were just shocked. I mean, I got pregnant fast with DD, but that was like 5 years ago. I'm older now, have thyroid issues, we were just thinking that things would take longer this time. But it sunk in, we were pretty excited that we were so lucky to not struggle with infertility issues. But when we went in for our first apt and u/s, all the tech saw was an empty sac, no baby. I was pretty sure of my dates, especially based on when I got my first positive pregnancy test. The doc told me she wanted to do another u/s in a week to make sure, but was pretty sure I was experiencing a blighted ovum. I went back in a week, and sure enough, same thing, a big empty hole on the screen where the little bean should've been. I was just devastated. I opted for the D&C so that I could get on with my life. She said that if I decided to wait to m/c naturally it could take weeks, or even a month or more. I couldn't wait that long. I wanted to TTC again as soon as possible. So, 2 days later, I had my D&C. I have to agree with the others, it was such an easy procedure. I have had surgeries before, nothing serious, but at least the fear of being put under wasn't really there. I just remember being upset sitting in the little room waiting for the surgery. This nurse was telling me about support groups and other things dealing with pregnnacy loss, I only half heard what she said. DH just sat there reading a book, I was hating him at that moment because he didn't seem more upset. I was hating the nurse because I just didn't want her talking to me or telling me how sorry she was I was hating EVERYONE because of what I had to go through. I woke up crying. I felt so empty, just knowing it was all over. They brought me to recovery, and there came DH holding a big bouquet of flowers and my Mom told me how he had just paced the floor the entire time I was in there that he was so worried about me. We just hugged each other, and I could tell that he was fighting tears finally as well. Boys! But 5 weeks later AF returned, and after a few cycles of my body trying to return to normal, I got a BFP in June, and am now over 16 weeks pregnant, with no issues so far. That first u/s this time was quite a sight. I was so scared, but once we saw that little bean and that healthy little heartbeat, I was so happy.
It does get easier. You'll never forget. But the pain gets easier.
I hope that seeing many of us that have gone on to so far have a successful pregnancy can give you hope as well. I'm not even halfway through this one yet, but I am pretty relaxed about it all now. I've begun to feel this little one move, and I am confident I'll be meeting this kiddo in February!
Feel free to come here and let it all out as much as you need to!! We understand!
Thank you KimberlyDO for my beautiful siggy!!
I'm sorry to hear about your loss!! I had a D&C also. I'm not going to say it was easy. I was really scared. As I too can't stand the sight of needles. Plus, I don't tolerate pain very well. I was a nervous wreck and it went similar to bobbie's experience. There is also a board here about everyone's D&C experiences. You should go there and read some. I found that board after the fact. But it was very informative. It might help you out a little bit. After the D&C I had cramping feelings and bleeding like Bobbie's. But everything returned to normal after about 4 wks. and I had a regular AF. Good luck! If you need to talk the girls here are great!! If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.
Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I'm sending you many hugs & prayers. I know how hard it is. We went through something very similar having see our baby twice via u/s & hearing his h/b only to lose him at 7w 5d. I think the ladies have given you wonderful advice. Mine is going to be to allow yourself to feel every emotion such as anger, jealousy, etc. If you don't then you will later regret it. It is ok to fall apart right now. You are grieving & you have that right! Please know we are all here for you!