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I tried so hard for this baby and wanted her so badly. I have enjoyed every second of everything including the pregnancy, not taking anything for granted because of my losses, etc. Olivia's rough start in the hospital makes me appreciate her even more, and I truly do cherish every minute of everything with her, even in the early morning when she wakes me up. Because of all of this, I never ever thought that I could get PPD, but I think I might.
Out of nowhere at all, I'll start crying. I get so sad for no reason at all. It's not just sadness though, sometimes I get so angry and again, for no reason at all. Has anyone else gone through this? I haven't told anyone in person because I'm so embarrassed to admit it and I know people wouldn't understand, but I don't know what to do.
After you have a Baby, the hormones in your body go through such a roller coaster..... Crying, being mad, sad, excited, having a whole range of emotions is most of the time normal. The key is, if you feel abnormal, you should call your dr. They can listen to you and give you advise and help you. Do not feel bad for having these emotions and feelings.... You have gone through quite a bit with the loss, pregnancy and birth. Give yourself a break....seeking help is not something to be ashamed of either. Take care of you too....
After Cecil was born, we were in the hospital for a week, and I was a new mommy, and I loved him with all of my heart, but there were a few nights I cried myself to sleep.....bawled myself to sleep, but after a couple weeks it got much better.
Me! I have zero history of depression or mental illness. I have a wonderful, loving husband and super supportive family. I didn't think it would be me, either. Mine came in the form of intense anxiety after my second baby. Don't be embarrassed, hormones can do some crazy stuff. Talk to your DH and maybe consider seeing a counselor. Your doc and the counselor can help you decide whether you might benefit from medication. For me, breastfeeding was super important and I really didn't want meds....so I went to a counselor and learned techniques for helping me relax. It worked and I haven't had near the issues this time with Toby. I think things were just so tramatic with Juliana...like they were for you with Olivia....that it made it so much worse. Hugs!! Let us know if you need to talk or if there is anything we can do to help!
I have had PPD with all my pregnancies my losses included. I was better able to handle it the second, third and fourth times , and expect to deal with it again. But there are ways to deal. Also there is a board on JM for PPD Post Partum Depression - JustMommies Message Boards
For me the cure became working out. Feeling better about myself. Going back to work is always so hard on me, leaving my new baby. The emotions are so hard to deal with. There are lots of options, meds, counselor etc. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. Its very normal and something that you want help with. You want to enjoy this time with your baby not look back and be sad.
I had severe PPD with Moose. The same as story as yours really. Wanted the pregnancy, was thrilled to be pregnant. Moose also had a VERY rough start, so that made me appreciate her even more. She was colicky and very seldom slept. I started being depressed, sad, crying alot, around 2 months after having her. I foolishly ignored it, and thought it was from lack of sleep. It did NOT get better, continually got worse. Finally, my anxiety levels just went throught the roof. I ended up in the ER for what I thought was a heart attack, but was in fact a severe panic attack.
I went to my OB, who prescribed an anti-depressant and Xanax for anxiety. I also started seeing a shrink (who actually put me on Prozac which is apparently better for PPD). Little by little, I felt more myself. I continued the meds for a year, and saw the shrink for 6 months.
I hope if you even question you might have it, you call your OB. PPD is nothing to be embarassed about or ashamed of. I wish I had sought out help earlier than what I did. Good luck!!