[shannaaugh]

Hi there. I am just writing to vent. I am finally prego agian from IVF w/ ICSI after a failed attempt in August but as excited as I am I feel as though I'm walking on eggshells. Anybody else? I am now almost 6 weeks and my ultrasound is next Thursday. I want to tell people but I don't want to jinx myself so I keep it to myself...which really sucks!! I can't help but wonder if this is all too good to be true? I wish I could shake the pessimism and just enjoy the ride...Any advice for a prego basketcase? LOL

[richmond_girl]

Hi there. Just popping in to tell you that you are not alone. We just found out we are pregnant after doing IVF w/ICSI as well. I've been an emotional basketcase since getting our BFP at 11dpo as well. I feel exactly the same way you do - that everything is too good to be true right now. We're only used to getting bad news, it's seems impossible that our luck has finally changed. It's like my mind can't even be happy because there's always that that shadow of fear lurking behind it. Waiting for the next ultrasound has actually been more grueling for me than any other 2ww I've ever experienced.

I think early pregnancy is emotionally draining for anyone to begin with, but then you add in years of TTC, a history of always being on the wrong end of the odds, and all the hormonal/physical/financial complications of IVF, and you've got a volatile combination. So I'm trying to take it easy and forgive myself for feeling scared, anxious, nervous, even resentful sometimes that I can't enjoy my pregnancy like other women. I've stopped trying to "not stress" and "be positive" because as you know that just doesn't work after you've been through what we've been through. Instead, I'm just praying and hoping and reminding myself that whatever's going to happen will happen, and I just need to let God's plans play out.

HUGS!! I am sorry I don't have any actual advice. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

[shannaaugh]

Thanks Juli. Just to know I'm not alone with what I'm feeling means a lot! What you say is true though...it is all in God's hands...it would be so much easier if I could just give it all to him and relax but, that seems to be impossible. I wish you a H&H pregnancy and I hope you get to hear that beautiful heartbeat very soon!