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So exhausted..I can hardly function.


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  #1  
November 20th, 2007, 07:39 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I need some advice if you have any to spare.

Miles has decided that he's not sleeping anymore. Last night he was up 4 times between midnight and 6:30am. Then he got up for the day. He just took a short 10 min nap and he's up again. He used to sleep through the night every night. Then he started getting up once a night. Now it's just ridiculous. I haven't slept more than a few hours a night in the last week. I'm really losing it! I can't focus. I'm half afraid to drive because I'm so tired. I just wish I could figure why he's getting up so much. (he eats cereal before bed...he has Tylenol for his teething...I still swaddle him.) I know this can't go on forever but it's rough. I can see why they use sleep deprivation as a torture device!

I also need a little hug, if you've got one of those to spare...
Today is the three year anniversary of my mom's death. I miss her. And to top it all off...my ex-MIL, who I was very close too, is deathly ill and is not expected to make it. She will probably be gone in the next hour or two. My poor DD's have to go through the hell of loosing another grandma (the only one they have left) and my heart breaks for my ex and his family.

It such a morbid coincidence that I will have lost my mom and the person who was most like a mom to me on the same day.
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  #2  
November 20th, 2007, 07:57 AM
srs srs is offline
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Lots of them. You need them today. I'm so sorry for your girls today, and for you as well. Try to go easy on yourself as much as you can. And don't drive if you think you can't and it's not an emergency. I've been there too, and it's just scary, especially with a baby in the car.

As for Miles, how old is he? I remember that four months is supposed to be when they start waking up again at night if they ever slept through (mine missed the sleeping through from 2-4 months). Is it possible he has an ear infection or another illness? Sally has been fighting an ear infection for a few weeks now, and it has definitely screwed up her sleep.

Good luck, and I hope that there is a reason that he is waking, or at least that it will soon pass. Does he wake up happy and want to play or upset?
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  #3  
November 20th, 2007, 08:14 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Candace! You truly are exhausted. Alex started that with me at about 4 months after the bliss of all night sleeps from 2-4 months (sorry, Sara!). It does get better, but even at 7 months we have some nights where I'm up every hour. A normal night for us is waking twice between 10 and 7. And Alex isn't a good napper, but never has been. He'll sleep longer ON me, but that's not always possible. Normal naps for Alex are 20-45 minutes, 3 times a day.

As for your mom's anniversary and your MIL's situation, my heart breaks for you and your girls. Many and I'll keep you all in my prayers for comfort and peace. You know we're here for you if you need to vent or cry or whatever.
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  #4  
November 20th, 2007, 10:56 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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thanks for the hugs. I do really need them today. My ex just called me and told me that his mom did pass away. It's so confusing because in some ways I feel like I've lost the right to grieve for her because I divorced her son but in my heart, I'm grieving because I loved her. Ex-Dh said that I should come to the funeral but I'm not sure if I should. I think that it would make some people uncomfortable and I don't want to add to their load right now.

Sara... Miles usually wakes up just fussing a little and wanting to nurse. Within ten minutes, he's back to sleep. The problem arises when I try to put him back in his crib...he either wakes up as soon as his back hits the mattress or he only sleeps for an hour or so. Even if I keep him in bed with me, he still wakes up over and over. I don't sleep well when he's in our bed anyway.

Thanks again and hugs,
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  #5  
November 20th, 2007, 01:46 PM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry you have so much to deal with on top of getting so little sleep. Like Sara, my DD never slept through the night either. However, now she still is up every couple of hours during the night. I can get a couple of hours of sleep when she sleeps with me, but I don't sleep nearly well enough. Is there any place else that Miles can sleep? I have found that DD will sleep much better in her swing, and if you need to catch up, something like this could help (I refuse to leave her in there for the whole night though).
As far as the funeral, I would go. Your ex said that he was comfortable with it (and he should be the one it bothers most). Plus, you should be there to support your daughters.
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  #6  
November 20th, 2007, 06:24 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Candace, You really do have a lot of emotional stuff going on right now on top of dealing with it while exhausted. I am so sorry about your MIL - I also think you should go to the funeral. I am sure you were special to her as well.

As far as sleep - I am the last to give advice - we've gone steadily downhill all along. Right now he wakes at least every 2 hrs when we co-sleep - way more when we don't...and some nights he will take a paci back to sleep - but often he has to be nursed back to sleep. I am sleeping better w/ cosleeping as he gets bigger & I feel more relaxed w/it - but I drive an hour twice a day & believe me - I KNOW why that worries you. I can't offer a cure - but I really do understand.


Many hugs!!!!
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #7  
November 23rd, 2007, 07:39 AM
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Candace, I'm so sorry to hear about your ex mil. Like everyone else has said, I would go to the funeral. Just because you are no longer married to her son doesn't mean you are not still part of the family. You loved her and I'm sure she loved you. You gave her beautiful grandchildren of which I'm sure she was greatful and I'm sure that gave her much joy in her life.

As for Miles and his messed up sleep pattern. Nicholas did the same thing at about the same time. We were cruising along, sleeping peacefully through the night for 4 months and then BAM we hit a brick wall. He wouldn't sleep through the night for anything. We did everything you have done but it didn't help. It does get better. Nicholas is almost 18 months old and just recently he has started to sleep all the way through the night. Like I said, it does get easier. Right now you have been thrown off schedule and that is unbalancing to you but once you get used to it it will be a little easier. Good luck and I hope it's temporary for you.
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  #8  
November 23rd, 2007, 03:57 PM
srs srs is offline
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Is it getting any better with Miles?
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  #9  
November 26th, 2007, 05:07 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
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I am so sorry for your recent losses ((Hugs))

How are things going now with your little ones sleeping patterns? I have to admit, Gaby slept really well from 6 weeks-4 months, but then she began teething & it was all down the gurgler. I hope he begins sleeping properly again soon, because I know just how exhausting it is when you are getting little sleep..... take care!
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  #10  
November 29th, 2007, 09:18 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi ladies,
First let me thank you for the support you gave me when I told you guys about my ex-mil and my sleep deprivation problem.

Here's the update...
I went to my exMIL's funeral on Tuesday. It was heartbreaking. My DDs were distraught. That was their last grandma and they're going to miss her terribly. She really was the heart of that family. Everyone in DH's family was kind and loving to me and told me that they loved me and missed me. They really have every reason to be very bitter towards me but their attitude just shows what good people they are.

Miles is still not sleeping. We've both come down with a terrible cold. I've been doing steamy baths with Miles and nasal saline and suctioning but now that they've taken the infant cold meds off the shelves, I don't know what else to do for him. I've been taking sudafed...just so I can function. I feel so horrible for Miles because he can't get any relief. Any ideas?

Thanks friends,

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  #11  
November 29th, 2007, 04:47 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Candace - I am so sorry you still aren't sleeping - we haven't been either - but ours is a different issue (I think teething)....anyway - the only other thing I can tell you to try is Eucalyptus oil. You put it into a vaporizer or humidifier, but from what I understand it works better with cold air vapor vs hot air vapor..so a humidifier is probably best. I put about a teaspoon or so in. It smells a lot like Vicks - but Vicks actually is not good for babies (unless it's "Vick's For Babies") because regular Vicks contains camphor to get that menthol-like action. Eucalyptus oil is perfectly safe to use in the vaporizer/humidifier for babies & I think it works even better. (If you already knew this stuff - please excuse my tendency to over-explain - I jsut want to make sure I include the details). You can find Eucalytus oil at most pharmacies right on the shelf - but hard telling where they put it in different pharmacies - so I would jsut ask at the counter. It's a litlte pricey for a small bottl e- but it ;asts a REALLY long time....I think mine was $10-$15,

((((hugs)))) I am glad the funeral went well - hope you are on the mend soon!
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #12  
November 30th, 2007, 09:00 AM
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Some of the ladies in my PR had used a strange method for their sick babies and they all said it worked. I can not vouch for it because I have not done it. They said you can rub Vicks for babies on the bottom of their feet and then put socks on them. It sounds strange but I have never had to use it.
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  #13  
November 30th, 2007, 10:49 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for the info, gals!

Rhonda...wow...Vicks on thier feet? That's sure different! LOL
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  #14  
November 30th, 2007, 01:05 PM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I got an email chain about the Vicks on their feet thing. Haven't tried it yet, but I am intrigued.
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  #15  
December 4th, 2007, 01:16 PM
srs srs is offline
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Sorry to hear about the cold. We just took Sally to the doctor for the umpteenth time to make sure her ear infection was gone, because she stopped sleeping too, and the doctor gave us children's dimetapp to clear up the congestion he guessed was causing ear pain and therefore the not sleeping and crankiness. Anyway, we gave it to her for a few days and it worked so well, that doctor is my hero! Just thought if it was bad enough your pedi might consider the same thing, since this was technically one of the meds that isn't supposed to be used for children under 2 without a doctor's supervision. (what he gave us was otc samples)

I hope you both start feeling better soon.
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  #16  
December 4th, 2007, 09:33 PM
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If anyone tries the Vicks thing, let me know because I'm curious too.
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