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July 23rd I had my regular OB appointment. I was really hoping I would get some good news. Like ďlabour is immenentĒ type of news. I was so exhausted and tired. Iíd been having hard core braxton hicks for a few months now; many times thinking I was in labour (3 minutes apart for 4-5 hours sometimes). The last week or so though, they had gotten way more intense, which I didnít think was possible. They were painful, some lasting a couple minutes and always close together, with NO let up! I knew my body was doing what it knew to do and I had the same thing with Kenya (although not as bad) but it was so hard to stay positive. At my OB appointment I told him how I was feeling. He offered to do a vaginal exam. I was 3 cmís and 50% effaced and very ripe. He asked me if I would like my membranes stripped. Of course I said yes. He didnít expect to see me again for an appointment. I left feeling a lot better, knowing that these awful contractions were doing some good. I also felt even more anxious though. Knowing I was well on my way to having this baby, yet it still seemed so far away. I got home and started losing my mucous plug in chunks. I also had a bit of pink show. I had never been so happy in my life, to see booger like substances coming out of my nether region. This continued all day and night. I went to bed praying that I would wake up to wet pajamas. I was up all night that night with horrible contractions and just feeling so pumped to meet my baby. I woke the next morning (July 24th), finding myself in tears. I was still pregnant. I broke down into a nervous, anxious, stressed, tired, overwhelmed mess. I felt so out of control. My body had been in what seemed to be labour, for a week now and it just wouldnít go that extra bit. I felt like I was getting defeated, like I couldnít go on for ONE more day. I was having a major breakdown. In the back of my mind, I knew that this was the day. I knew that I was having this breakdown because my body needed to let go. I needed to let out the tension, the fears, and the anxiety and just let my body run free. I had to let go of the major fears and sadness I had. My fear of going to the hospital and not being able to birth my baby at home, like I did with Kenya. I knew that once I did that, things would happen. By lunchtime on July 24th, I had started to have a lot of bloody show. By 3:00 pm or so, the contractions started to intensify even more in quantity, although I still knew this wasnít quite ďitĒ. It carried on this way until 6:00 pm and the contractions were feeling different, yet still not like real labour contractions and not consistent in pattern. By 6:00 pm I started to wonder if something was going on. They were coming every 5 minutes now, consistently. I still wasnít sure and I knew that when it WAS real I would KNOW. At 6:45 pm, I told Rob I think we should go to the hospital. These contractions were now painful enough that I knew it was real. They were very low down in my pelvis; I had never felt them there before. They felt like bad menstrual cramps. This was all new to me, as with Kenya I only had back labour, no front labour. Even though I knew this was it, I was still very guarded. I didnít want to get Rob excited and I didnít want to let myself down once again. I told Rob we will go to the hosital but I will probably just get sent home. We arrived there at 7:00 pm. I got put in a room on a monitor. The contractions were still coming every 4-5 minutes and lasting about a minute. They were definitely uncomfortable. I started to think they all forgot about me, as no one was coming in to check on me and no one was to be found! I laid in the bed and read a magazine, with Rob beside me also reading. At 8:30 pm, the OB came in. I was so excited to see that it was the OB I was wishing for! That was one of my major fears of going to the hospital, getting one of the OBís I didnít like. I was so happy! Rob also knew her as heíd worked on their house before. She sat on my bed and talked to me. She told me about her family, asked me about mine and it just felt like she was a friend, not just a medical personel. She proceeded to examine me. I was a very loose 4 cmís. I asked if that meant I was in labour. She said yes and I wasnít going anywhere. I was so glad. This really was it! FINALLY! She asked if I wanted her to rupture my membranes and I declined. I decided to then walk the halls, have something to eat and drink and just really take everything in. Rob and I did just that. We went into the snack room and ransacked the fridge and cupboards. I had some cheese and crackers and TONS of water with ice. Rob had some random things also. Then we walked the halls and smiled at all the newborn baby pictures all over the walls. We were especially drawn to the baby boy ones and both just kept getting all giddy. We went back to the room and I laid down for a bit. Rob went down to the car to get my bags and the portable stereo. The contractions were getting more intense and I was now having to breathe through them and concentrate a bit. The nurse came in and I gave her my birth plan. She went over it with me and said it all sounded great. Fabulous! That was my other major fear, not getting everything I wanted for my birth. She got the information she needed from me, while I paused her every few minutes for an intense contraction. I couldnít talk through them anymore and needed to close my eyes and breathe. She said I was doing great and dealing with the pain in a wonderful way. I told her I thought that maybe I should be checked again. The OB came in at 10:00 pm and I was now 8 cmís. They were both in awe. They said they couldnít believe what a champ I was and how well I was doing this all. That made me feel so good. My OB again asked if I would like her to rupture my membranes. I declined again. She was totally fine with that. They left the room and told me to do as I please. Rob and I talked in between my contractions. About our baby, our excitement and my fear of tearing so badly again (100 stitches with Kenya). He eased my fear, and told me he canít believe how well I am doing. Shortly after this, about 10:05 pm, the contractions were getting much more painful. I was starting to moan throughout them now. Rob asked if he could do anything. I said no, just be there. This labour ws much different than Kenyaís. With Kenya I hugged him through every contraction, while he pushed on my back (back labour). With this labour, I didnít want to be touched much; the pain was so much different. I asked Rob to turn on my music and turn the lights almost off (this was ok with my OB). I had made a labouring cd to listen to. It really helped me to relax. I closed my eyes through every contraction and breathed deep cleansing breaths. I could feel myself opening up. It was freakin awesome! They were coming so close together now. I wasnít liking it too much! It was the most intense, horrific cramps in my lower pelvis. I felt like it was ripping apart. However, I kept at it the best I could, trying to stay calm. Around 10:45 pm, I started to panic a bit with some of the contractions. I kept saying that it was too much, they hurt too badly. I looked at Rob with a stare that said help me. He looked me in the eyes and told me that I was amazing. That I was doing so awesome and he was SO proud of me. That was just what I needed. It made me well up with tears but it was just the words I needed. The love and encouragement from him gave me the power to carrry on. I got up to pee around 10:45 pm, knowing it would dilate me faster. I walked to the bathroom, Rob asked if I needed help and I said no. I got in there and it hit me like a wall. The hugest contraction ever! I guess the extra pressure of his head on my cervix was just what I needed. One after the other. I remembered that the nurse had asked me about 2 hours ago to pee in a cup for her. I got the cup and another one hit me. It was horrific. They were so strong that I had to hold on to the wall so I didnít fall over. Rob heard me in there and asked if I needed him. I said no. I was in this most amazing state. The colors around me were all so intense. Everything just seemed so vivid. I was in this deep mode inside myself, I almost felt like it was all a dream. I made my way to the toilet and went to pee in the cup, except it was totally red. I called for Rob and he came and seen and went to get the nurse. She came and I told her I tried to pee in the cup for her but itís all bloody. She smiled at me and told me it was ok, she didnít need my urine at this time. I think she thought I was funny to even think of having to ďpee in the cupĒ but was trying not to laugh. I gave Rob the cup and he hucked it in the garbage. Then another one came and I started to loose it. I told the nurse it hurt so badly and I didnít want to do it anymore. She offered me drugs and I declined, of course. I knew that I was now in transition. These were horrible! I got back to the bed at about 11:00 pm and they were one after the other, no break at all. I was digging so deep inside myself to find the strength to go on. I felt like I was being defeated now. I knew that I did not want to lose control of myself and I somehow found it in me to carry on. I moaned, deep low moans. I breathed as best as I could and let the music in the background fill my head. All of a sudden at about 11:05 pm, my body started pushing. I was grunting with each contraction and trying not to let my body push, as the OB wasnít in the room yet. The nurse looked at me, with a deer in headlights look and pushed the panic button for the OB. I heard the OB running down the hall and the nurse was madly dashing to get the supplies taken care of. I donít remember them turning any of the lights on bright, I think they left them dimmed. My OB came to me and I was writhing in pain and squirming on the bed. My body was trying to push my baby out. She needed to check me to make sure there was no lip of cervix left. My membranes also still hadnít ruptured. She checked and there was no cervical lip. She got her amni-hook and proceeded to rupture my membranes. This proved to not be so easy. She had to try about 4 times before they finally broke. She said I had a VERY strong bag. She told me to push when I felt the urge. At 11:10 pm, with the next contraction, my body pushed with all its might. It was the most empowering feeling. I wasnít doing anything; it was all my body. I felt so connected to my body and I just let it do what it knew to do. My OB and the nurse said I was pushing beautifully. The nurse was pouring warm water over my perineum, which felt great! My OB was singing along to my music, which I absolutely LOVED! With the second contraction my OB said she could see hair. I got so excited. With the third push, I could feel him starting to crown and I was a bit freaked out. I was so scared to tear horribly again. I tensed up a bit and could feel my bottom lifting off the table. They were telling me to try and relax my bottom. I couldnít but I knew I wanted him out fast! I told the OB I was afraid and she said I was stretching beautifully. That was just what I needed to hear. My body was pushing with the most amazing strength of energy. I asked them if it was doing anything and they said oh yes, most definitely. I looked at Rob and his eyes were like an owl. I let out a loud scream and out popped his head. My Ob said to stop pushing (ha, ya thatís easy) and she checked for the cord around his neck. As she was doing so, she yelped. She told me heís a fiesty one! I asked what she meant and she said he bit her finger. I was laughing, while trying to not push, and wanting to scream in agony. She said I could push again. With the fourth contraction, out came my sweet baby boy, at 11:15 pm. to the song ďSomewhere Over the RainbowĒ. I immediately looked down on the bed to see my baby. He started to pee all over the OB. We were all laughing. The nurse and my OB couldnít believe how big he was! They were in shock that he came out of me and so easily too. I looked up at Rob and he had tears in his eyes. He was just beaming! Rob then cut his cord. The nurse put towels on my chest and my OB handed me Kyler. I snuggled him and breathed in his delicious scent. He was, however, not thrilled to be out of his warm pool. Boy did he have a set of lungs on him! Rob and I just stared at him and couldnít believe how perfect he was. His face was gorgeous. He got our baby boy. He was finally here. I held him for about 15 minutes and told the nurse she could take him, as I wanted to know how much he weighed! My OB guessed 10 pounds, the nurse guessed on the high end of 9 pounds and I guessed 9.5 I believe it was (canít remember Robís guess). He turned out to be 8.11 and 20.5 inches long. After about 20 minutes my placenta still hadnít delivered, so my OB asked me to give a big cough, which actually HURT. I coughed a couple times and out came the placenta. It was odd because it actually hurt to deliver. My OB thought maybe cause Kyler came out so fast; my underneath didnít have much chance to go numb. My OB commented on how she couldnít believe how long Kylerís cord was! Rob agreed and told me that when Kyler came out, his cord actually came SPRINGING out of me. It was all coiled up and so long. I am thankful that it wasn't around his neck, being that there was so much of it! My OB proceeded to check me over, and by now Kyler was back on my chest, all snuggled up. He hadnít stopped crying yet and it had been 30 minutes or so now. My poor boy was so upset. My OB told me that I had torn on my old episiotomy scar (which I was prepared for). She said it wasnít too bad though and definitely wouldnít take 100 stitches and 2 hours of repairing, like with Kenya. She froze me but it still hurt a lot. Again, I think cause my underneath never went numb really and the freezing didnít work too well. It took her 5 minutes to sew me up and I was good to go. She congradulated us and left to go home to her family. I then tried to nurse Kyler. It however, proved to be a challenge as he was still very upset. He latched on for a minute and then started crying again. I decided to let him calm down first. I cuddled him, caressed him, and talked to him, as did Rob. I then gave him to Rob and had a wonderful, hot shower. I didnít even need help to the washroom, the nurse offered but I felt great! I couldnít believe it. A far cry from after birthing Kenya. I stood in the shower for 15 minutes or so and didnít want to get out. It felt so good. However, I was missing Kylerís beautiful face. I got out and nursed my sweetie, my heart just beamed. We then went to my new room. We got everything all set up and I got all comfy. My world was so wonderful. I wasnít able to sleep, as I was in a wonderful state of euphoria and I didnít want to get out of it. I kept reliving my beautiful birth and was totally in love with my boy and my husband. I was so proud of myself for getting the birth I wanted. It wasnít at home like I longed for but it truly was a wonderful birth. I wouldnít have changed a thing. Looking back on it, I am totally happy and I do not feel sad in any way about my birth. I feel empowered even more than after Kenyaís birth because I was able to speak my voice and allow my true passion for labour and birth shine through the medical system. I feel like I can give women the hope and the push they need, to have beautiful hospital births. Itís been 2 months since my son was born and I am still on cloud 9 about it all. I feel so blessed to have two beautiful, heathy children and I thank God everyday for them. My heart is now full, I am complete.
July 24, 2007
8 lbs 11ozs
Labour: 4 hrs 15 mins
Pushing: 5 minutes
wow! guess i'm the first one to read. sounds like you had a great experience. i know exactly what you were feeling in the shower, it felt so good to me just standing in the warm water without a big belly in the way....but i wanted to get out so fast and go see my baby! i also remember you being upset about having to have a hospital birth but at least it turned out to be the best possible one for you!