We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
An old co-worker of mine just lost her baby last week at 15 weeks pregnant..... her and her DH tried so hard to have this baby and they finally get pregnant and are not able to carry the baby to term. If you could please pray for healing both emotionally and physically and that if it is God's will that st some time they are able to get pregnant again I know they would greatly appreciate it..... and this might be a little selfish but could you please pray for me in how I interact with her again.... I have never had anyone close to me have a pregnancy loss and I am so afraid that I will accidentally say something offensive trying to be compassionate, I just am totally at a loss at how to respond, I sent a card but when I see her again do I just pretend nothing ever happened.... do I ask a bunch of questions or do I just talk about it if she brings it up.... do I not come around if I have my kids with me.... I am so sorry I am sounding so ignorant but I just want to do every thing right....
I will be praying. Miscarriage is a terrible thing to endure. As far as how to treat her, I can only speak from experience. If you have not experienced it, please don't say "I know how you feel." That was the biggest thing for me. As for what to say,here is anythi tell her you are sorry, and ask if there is anything you can do. Personally, I don't like people to bring it up. It renews the hurt. I hope I've helped, and will be praying.
Thanks Leigha for the awesome siggie! You rock!</div>
I'm so sorry for your friend. Having had two m/c (in addition to losing my sweet son, Isaac), I can tell you that it's a very difficult thing. It was very hard for me to hear people saying "I know how you feel" even if they haven't lost a child or "At least you can get pregnant" or "You can just try again" or "You're young, you have plenty of time" or "So many women go through that" or "That's very common" etc..... In all honesty, I would just tell her something like the following: You are very, very sorry for the loss. You don't know how she feels, but you want her to know that you are there for her if she ever wants to talk about her feelings or the baby or just cry. So many people didn't know how to react to me and it was very awkward..... Be honest and let her know you don't know exactly what to say but reassure her that you are there to help her and support her and encourage her. I'm the opposite of Shannon, I wish more people had asked if I was okay and would have talked me through it. I felt like I had zero support. PM me if you have any questions. Praying for her is the best thing you can do right now.
I will definitely be praying for her. I really preferred it when people just simple said they were sorry to hear about my loss, hugged me, and let me know that if I needed to talk they were there.
Comments like "It will happen when it's meant to." or "At least you can get pregnant" or "You'll be pregnant again in no time" Just made it worse. To be brutally honest, even when someone said "It just wasn't God's time." or "It'll happen in God's time." Just made me angry. Those are things you really don't want to hear at that point. At least I didn't. I couldn't (and at times still don't) understand why God would allow me to get pregnant if he was only going to take the baby back so soon. I also hated when people who knew about it just ignored it. If you had known that my 5 ( or 10 or 20 or even 30) year old had died you would say something and I don't understand why people feel differently when it's an unborn baby. Just let her know you don't understand her pain, but you are there if she needs you.