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  #1  
October 8th, 2009, 08:16 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you think it's okay to discuss your sex life with your friends? Why or why not?

Does your DH think it's okay to discuss your sex life with his friends?
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  #2  
October 9th, 2009, 04:11 AM
~InHisHands~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Funny, you should ask this!

Do you think it's okay to discuss your sex life with your friends? Why or why not? I typically don't unless through PMs (and ONLY to certain ladies when I really really need advice or something) b/c IDK, it's just private, ya know!
Does your DH think it's okay to discuss your sex life with his friends? Probably not!
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  #3  
October 9th, 2009, 05:33 AM
m.and.a
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It depends. I have a marriage mentor and we discuss things like sex- but things like frequency, what to do what we're not "in the mood"- how to pray, and what to pray for concerning this physical- important- aspect of our marriage.

Read Song of Songs. I'd pause before saying that it isn't okay, but I definitely think that if doing it, we need to consider the motivation if considering if it is okay- and then how is it done? Is it done in a cherishing way that is protective of our marriage?
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  #4  
October 9th, 2009, 08:38 AM
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Do you think it's okay to discuss your sex life with your friends? Why or why not? Yes and no. I think it's okay to discuss it if you need advice in a certain area but I really feel that there needs to be privacy about it in a world like this. My friends and I might mention it but nothing about what goes on or anything.

Does your DH think it's okay to discuss your sex life with his friends? At first he did when we got married because he finally got to experience since we waited until we were married. But I talked with him and now he doesn't say anything to his friends, except the ones who are just getting married - more of what sex is and isn't sort of thing and advice and such.
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  #5  
October 9th, 2009, 09:58 AM
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There is just one girlfriend in my life that I feel like I could talk about anything with her...sex included. DH and I waited until we were married to have sex and there were so many times I had one of those I wonder if this is normal moments and there she was to put my mind at ease. I know she would never take anything I said and use it it any negative way...there are a couple of ladies in my life that I would talk in general with but nothing real specific. I think it is very healthy to have a close female friend you can discuss these kind of issues with, especially if they share your love for Christ and know that she will pray for you in your questioning and what not

DH is so shy I don't think he would...he doesn't really have a lot of friends to start out with and he would never discuss it with co-workers
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  #6  
October 9th, 2009, 10:07 AM
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Do you think it's okay to discuss your sex life with your friends? Why or why not? I don't think it's okay most of the time. Like a couple of you have said, DH and I waited until we were married, so I'm definitely no expert. But if I need advice I usually stick to our pastor's wife or one of the elders' wives.

Does your DH think it's okay to discuss your sex life with his friends?
He doesn't.
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  #7  
October 9th, 2009, 11:01 AM
m.and.a
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You ladies bring up excellent points! We live in a world where our young girls and boys are taught that sex is like what is in in the movies. I got married the first time when I was 20- and we waited, and I put way too much pressure on our marriage because I was expecting it to be what we see on TV.

I believe it is absolutely necessary to speak up and to give young women- especially who have waited - an idea of what real sex is like, and that it is something that we grow into as we learn to treasure the sexual side of our marriage, and our husband. There are some great books out there that the Duggar's have listed as resources for those who find themselves in this situation. I haven't read them personally.

We have a pretty open church and when a young couple that has dated for a very long time gets married, they always get a few extra nudges the next Sunday they are in church. One couple got married, had their reception and spent the night in the same hotel as their wedding guests. The next day they gave a breakfast for those still there. When they walked in, arm in arm, the groom accepted high fives and a standing ovation. It wasn't raunchy, and was respectful of the gift that God gave us in sex.
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  #8  
October 9th, 2009, 12:30 PM
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Do you think it's okay to discuss your sex life with your friends? Why or why not?
The closest I come to talking about it with anyone is keeping track of how often we have intercourse on my fertility chart. (partially just because there isn't really anyone I am that close to that I would feel comfortable talking about it with) I personally feel it should be something kept just between DH and I.

I have co-workers and a few friends think it's strange that I won't discuss things with them but it's just something I have never felt comfortable discussing. I have a hard time even discussing it with DH sometimes! lol

Does your DH think it's okay to discuss your sex life with his friends?
Not so much any more. It took several instances of me talking to him and kind of getting onto him to get him to stop though. He works in a factory and there is a lot of comparing notes and whatnot that goes on with the guys at work. The thing that bothered me the most was that then they would come to our house and I wasn't comfortable knowing that they knew what went on behind closed doors. That, and the fact that my FIL and my BIL were co-workers of DH's and I definitely did not want them knowing what happened behind closed doors!

DH does seem to respect my wishes a little more now and not discuss things as much as he did in the past. I do wish that I had a very close friend that I could discuss things with from time to time, but again, as I mentioned before.....not sure that I would feel comfortable talking about it anyway! lol
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  #9  
October 9th, 2009, 12:48 PM
yahtzeecat1981's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by m.and.a View Post
You ladies bring up excellent points! We live in a world where our young girls and boys are taught that sex is like what is in in the movies. I got married the first time when I was 20- and we waited, and I put way too much pressure on our marriage because I was expecting it to be what we see on TV.

I believe it is absolutely necessary to speak up and to give young women- especially who have waited - an idea of what real sex is like.....
I agree with every word of this...I don't want to say that I was disappointed on my wedding night because that is not the case by far...there is no way in creation I could have brought myself to talk to my mom about it either, yes she taught me the basic mechanics of sex but that was as far as it went...we also do not have the same opinon as to the sacredness of sex so I am so thankful that I had a trusted girlfriend that could go to! I truly feel that it is all in the intention when talking to your girlfriends about sex...God knows our intentions on everything and if we are honestly seeking guidance then I whole heartedly believe he will honor that but in the same respect if our intentions are unpure like we are trying to brag or tear our spouse down then there is no room for that at all! I don't believe though that we should be talking to the opposite sex about sex ....
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  #10  
October 9th, 2009, 04:42 PM
CameraLinds's Avatar Zane & Jude's mama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MountainMomma View Post
The closest I come to talking about it with anyone is keeping track of how often we have intercourse on my fertility chart. (partially just because there isn't really anyone I am that close to that I would feel comfortable talking about it with) I personally feel it should be something kept just between DH and I.
That's exactly the same here.

DH isn't comfortable at all talking about sex with any o f his friends. Sometimes he is too embarassed to even talk about it with me! He's a shy guy who doesn't like to open up which makes it hard sometimes!

When our kids get old enough we plan to discuss sex with them and what the Bible has to say and the importance of waiting. He'll talk to the boys and me the girls (praying that we have some of each ) I will definitely be using my personal testimony about sex before marriage to them (my ex basically raped me, I didn't want to but only went thru it thinking we'd be back together, big mistake )
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  #11  
October 14th, 2009, 08:30 PM
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Both DH and I tend to keep things private. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going into details with anyone.
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  #12  
October 15th, 2009, 09:21 PM
happyhme44's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I talk about sex in general and about how extremely important it is in a marriage. Very very very important but I don't go into details really. It depends on the person I suppose. Dh doesn't talk about our personal life either.
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  #13  
October 17th, 2009, 10:00 AM
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One of the only things that my mom taught me about sex was that you wait until you are marreid and when you are married you should have it often to have a healthy marriage.

There is one lady that I work with that I will discuss it with, she is also a pastor's daughter and wife, she is very open when talking about it, She is a lot like my mom in that she thinks that we should be willing and "Fake it until you Make it"

My Dh does talk to some of the younger guys that he works with but only in the context that in a healthy marrige it isn't going to end like some of the divorced men have told them.
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