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How do you handle it?


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  #1  
December 18th, 2011, 01:51 PM
MommaLexi's Avatar Adoptive and Foster Mommy
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When your church's pastor resigns because of "infidelity"? We found out in service today that our pastor had been having an emotional, text-only relationship, outside of his marriage. This is the man that baptised me, who I poured my heart out to, who I wanted to marry me and my future husband one day. It's so heartbreaking. Apparently this is actually a pretty common thing, so I was hoping someone here had advice or simply prayers.
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  #2  
December 18th, 2011, 06:47 PM
Mattiez's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,422
Hi, I am sorry to hear about this. It is rather heartbreaking when you find out your trust has been betrayed in any way. Please remember that no one is perfect. Not even the pastor. (as much as we would like to think they are) Most likely he is still the same person that baptized you and listened to you when you were going through hard times.

The church has every right to ask him to leave if they feel he has done something inappropriate. They also have every right to ask him to stay if they think that this is just a slip up, is uncharacteristic of him and something that he has changed his ways on. Were there other things going on in the church that would prompt the members to ask him to resign?
I guess one of the real tests is how is he going to handle his life now.

Lord, I pray that you take this situation and all the situations surrounding this event and use it for your glory. For we know all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

Mattiez
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  #3  
December 18th, 2011, 09:48 PM
MommaLexi's Avatar Adoptive and Foster Mommy
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Mattiez, thank-you for your words. Our church met tonight, where our elders led a prayer/worship. Our Pastor spoke for about 10-15mins, apologizing, confessing, and asking for prayers and support for his family. The rest of the service was our elders speaking and sharing scripture, worshipping, and praying all together and in groups. It was truly amazing. No one even wanted to leave when it was over. It was definitely needed to start the forgiveness and healing process for us.

I do not know the exact circumstances surrounding his resignation. I know of no other reasons for him to resign, he was doing absolutely amazing things in our church. The indiscretion came to light on Wednesday night, and we were told this morning. I'm a staff member at the church and I wasn't even told ahead of time, so it was kept very close. I just pray that our church is able to come together to forgive, heal, recover and come together, and I pray the same for his family (he has 5 kids and 1 on the way).
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  #4  
December 19th, 2011, 11:37 AM
dalynnrmc's Avatar pronounced (day-lynn)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattiez View Post
Hi, I am sorry to hear about this. It is rather heartbreaking when you find out your trust has been betrayed in any way. Please remember that no one is perfect. Not even the pastor. (as much as we would like to think they are) Most likely he is still the same person that baptized you and listened to you when you were going through hard times.
Agreed.

We all mess up. Remember that as a pastor, one who is in leadership, the enemy is always and more harshly attacking and looking to trip these people up. His only purpose is to destroy. As weak as we are, some of the time it must be known that those who are attacked the hardest WILL occasionally fall.

It seems that, especially if he has resigned of his own will and not being forced to do so, that he is already dealing with the conviction needed for repentance and healing.

I would encourage you and your church family to continue praying for him and his family. THey will need healing, and our Lord is a God of reconciliation. What a sad thing, but we know that in all things the Lord works for good. Even this, He can and *will* use, whether in the path of your church or in the life of the pastor and his family, even both. Our God is big enough.

The Peace of the Lord Jesus be with you all at this time.
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  #5  
December 19th, 2011, 12:43 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm just going to say with everything Mattiez and Dalynn said.

We tend to expect our pastors to be better than the rest of us, less likely to sin. We imagine them as perfect parents with perfect marriages. But the reality is they are just as flawed, imperfect and messed up as the rest of us.

My childhood church went through a terrible time when the senior pastor was doing things that were not only hurting his family but very much hurting the congregation and other staff members. He unfortunately was unwilling or unable to recognize or admit to his sins and it really damaged the church. We ended up leaving because of it. I'm still working on forgiving him but I do pray for him and his family and for the church often.

We can only hope that our pastors are at least trying to get it right and working hard to be an example of Christ's love. It sounds like from what you've said, that is the case here.
I'm so glad to hear that your church is responding the way that it is. This is God's grace in action. That worship service must have been amazing.

I will absolutely be praying for him and his family and for your church. May the Lord grant you all forgiving hearts, a sense of peace, and a confidence that His Will will be done.
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  #6  
December 19th, 2011, 02:06 PM
dalynnrmc's Avatar pronounced (day-lynn)
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Amen! :agree:
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  #7  
December 20th, 2011, 04:40 AM
Mami's Avatar Christian Parent
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Location: Florida
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I guess I have nothing to add because all the ladies here explain it well. Not everyone is perfect but I am very happy that he admitted. At least that's the first step to be forgiven. Just because a person sins it does not make him/her different person. We are all human if we weren't then Jesus wouldn't have died on the cross for us.
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  #8  
December 20th, 2011, 07:26 PM
MommaLexi's Avatar Adoptive and Foster Mommy
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Oh, I completely understand that he is just as human as we all are. The only way I see it as different is that this has shaken an entire church, versus only his family. I most certainly do not expect him to be perfect. The Devil saw what amazing things he was doing in our church and tried to put a stop to it. Little does he know that while this may shake us, it will not stop us from continuing with the path God has laid before us. I have great respect for him in that he confessed to his wife on his own, he didn't get "found out".
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  #9  
December 21st, 2011, 05:20 AM
Mattiez's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It sounds like everyone is staying focused on what priorities are. The mercies and blessings of God will shine through this situation.
Mattiez
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