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I'm praying that God will provide a way for us to be able to move out of DH's parent's house. But DH doesn't seem to want to move out. We don't have the money right now, and probably won't for several years unless there is a miracle, but DH doesn't seem to care.
He keeps saying "6 years" which is when he'll be out of college (if everything goes right). I can't live here for 6 years, nor can I raise a child here for 6 years. There isn't an extra room, our room isn't big enough to have a toddler in it, much less an older child.
I know we don't have the money to move out now, and probably won't for a long while, but I get so depressed when he's saying it will be at least 6 years. It's not so bad for him, he goes to work every day, or hangs out with friends.
I'm responsible for cooking dinner, most of the cleaning, and the buying of groceries. His family is picky, and if things aren't made the exact way they like it, they make comments, pick it apart and tell me how to make it better next time. It's a lot of stress.
DH is almost never home for dinner, so he doesn't see it happening, and I have the feeling he thinks I make it up.
Add this to the fact that he admitted to me that he doesn't believe in God at all, and I really don't know what to do. When we got married, he wasn't gung-ho for God, but he did believe in Him and pray with me if I asked him to.
I know God has a bigger plan, that this baby is part of the bigger plan that I just can't see right now, but I feel so lost. There will be no nursery, nicely decorated and ready, instead there will be just a small corner of a room. (I know it's a small thing, but everyone else is getting nursery furniture and decorating and painting, and I can't do any of that. )
I don't have anyone else I can talk to. My bff doesn't seem to care, my mother definitely doesn't care.
I'm sorry for going so long.
Is there any way you can look into subsidized student housing, while he is in school, so you can save up and get back on your feet?
What about going on assistance for the time being. It would qualify you for low income housing, and would get you the space of your own you need. It may be a difficult pill to swallow, but it may be the break from insanity you need! If you can make DH see that it is negatively affecting your mental and emotional well being, maybe that will help him see that you need a change of scenery.
If it is not possible for your living situation to change, keep your eyes on the Lord and know that he loves and will always care and provide for you! Keeping a positive attitude is difficult, but any situation is what you make of it! Keep being the light for your husband and see your love for Jesus, and His love for you.
My church has small groups, and I really need to get connected with those. Right now I only go to Church on Sundays, which is great, but I need more right now.
I try to read my Bible, but I find myself forgetting, or just too tired sometimes.
Thanks for the ideas, I will certainly look into them.