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Praying GOD one day blesses me with a surprise baby....what do you think?


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  #1  
September 5th, 2012, 07:15 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What better high than seeing those two lines/positive/ result? Knowing that in this moment the most spectacular thing has happened? You have life inside of you. Who is to be? A boy or girl? The next perfect soul to add to your family. 9 months of wondering, worrying of course, planning and getting excited for the greatest gift of all!!

Seriousely since I was 6 I have dreamed of being preg. I was a young girl planning my babies rather than my wedding. I am married to an older man. I am 29, soon to be 30 and dh is 43. He has two kids from a previous marriage age 11 and 9. We had two together, two girls, ages 3 1/2 and 16 months. When I married him I was so relieved to be out of a bad relationship and happy to truly be in love. He didn't necessarily want anymore kids but knew that was a deal breaker to me. I always wanted at least 4 but when I met and married him, I agreed to have one maybe two. He really agreed to one but I begged for number two.

Well, here I sit dying for more. Devestated that at 29, my child bearing ages are over and the adventure and time period that I awaited for my entire life is over. It lasted a whole 3 years. It breaks my heart. DH knows how I feels and has said that he has already compromised by having 2. This is true. I do take care of all 4 kids, two of which are my step kids, more than anyone (his ex included) He knows I do a lot and is appreciative...lol, sometimes. He also knows that as much as I want this, he doesn't and yet he has said maybe in the future we will revisit it.

So, do I want more children? I believe I really do. Right now I def have my hands full as my 3 yr old dd is a challenging child. There are def moments where I'm yelling more than I want and becoming frustrated and overwhelmed. Ideally I would want another in the future, maybe a year but I still have baby fever. Well, I am still nursing my 16month old. We are using the pull and pray method and have been for 6 months. He seems fine with doing that although he would get a vasectomy if I agreed. We only BD every oher day, so I believe all that pre-cum sperm is killed off by urine. DARN! Also, he really does have his timing perfect. He pulls out with time to spare. I know there is always a chance but he seems to be on his game. I secretly wish for a "meant to be," "gift from above" baby but wonder if this could ever or will ever be.

I then think to myself (in the deep dark part of me ) that perhaps I am just addicted to it all. There is nothing like it to me. Don't get me wrong, my children are still the most amazing thing in my world but there is just something about pregnancy, despite the number it does on my anxiety disorder, that just excites me. Of course, even if I did have another, I believe baby fever will always be with me......

...........with that said I am trusting that the LORD knows me better than I know myself and for some reason I have a peace about this. To me, a baby is always a blessing...nothing EVER bad about them, maybe challenging..but NEVER bad. I know he says to be fruitful and multiply.........=)))
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  #2  
September 5th, 2012, 07:55 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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God will not give you more than you can handle Everything is in his hands.
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  #3  
September 6th, 2012, 07:10 AM
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I can totally relate to wanting to have babies, but just wanted to say that even after my 5 I had to 'grieve' being done that stage of my life. Even though I was SO over it, had a hard time with pregnancy while taking care of 4 other little ones, had a just aweful birth experience and a colicky baby.
Not saying that you have to be done, just that being sad over that stage being done is there regardless of how many you have.
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  #4  
September 6th, 2012, 09:45 AM
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I myself have been wanting another. We were praying for another pregnancy since the beginning of 2012.....but nothing. I knew God had a plan for us though. My hubby lost his job this summer and the benefits went too...I'm a SAHM so we were devestated. I still know that the Lord is leading our family. Because of this set back we are (sadly) not actively trying right now. I honestly trust in God that he knows whats best for our family. What's best may be just one child...but I'm at peace with that. I will be 34 at the end of the year and already would be considered high risk because of other issues....I feel my clock is ticking. The reason I waited so long to try is because quite frankly I almost died having my daughter. My doctor convinced me I could go ahead. God has a plan for me...maybe something bad could happen...I don't know for sure...but I leave it in God's hands.

I can relate to the feelings of sadness at possibly having to be done...but that's normal....and maybe you aren't even done yet.
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  #5  
September 6th, 2012, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buggymom View Post
I myself have been wanting another. We were praying for another pregnancy since the beginning of 2012.....but nothing. I knew God had a plan for us though. My hubby lost his job this summer and the benefits went too...I'm a SAHM so we were devestated. I still know that the Lord is leading our family. Because of this set back we are (sadly) not actively trying right now. I honestly trust in God that he knows whats best for our family. What's best may be just one child...but I'm at peace with that. I will be 34 at the end of the year and already would be considered high risk because of other issues....I feel my clock is ticking. The reason I waited so long to try is because quite frankly I almost died having my daughter. My doctor convinced me I could go ahead. God has a plan for me...maybe something bad could happen...I don't know for sure...but I leave it in God's hands.

I can relate to the feelings of sadness at possibly having to be done...but that's normal....and maybe you aren't even done yet.

I have a 7 yr old son. I wanted another baby 3 years ago. It didn't happen. Like you, we were in a bad job situation and bad insurance. However, we had decided it didn't matter; we had to do what we wanted no matter the circumstances or we might never have another one. I finally got pregnant over a year later but miscarried very early. We were very upset and disappointed. I pretty much gave up after that. I quit doing all the "stuff" to track ovulation and all that....I decided that maybe it was God's will for me to have any only child. All of a sudden, this June I found out I was pregnant. I just "knew" something would go wrong again but it didn't. I am almost 21 weeks pregnant with a baby girl and everything is going perfect. My husband just got hired permanently at his same job (it was temp before with no benefits) and we will now have AWESOME health insurance. It's all in perfect timing for this baby. God knew what he was doing. Im 33.
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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #6  
September 6th, 2012, 07:48 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It's so funny how when you see GOD work, you think "wow, that is more perfect than I could have done....ALWAYS." Ginger, so DELIGHTED to hear that you were so sure that something was wrong and look at you now!!!!! I always think I get gut feelings about things that scare me and LOVE it when GOD shows me we really don't have those and our fears sometimes manifest themselves in our own minds...but it is not him =)))

I know whenever it is truly the end I will mourn. I guess I just waited for these years for my entire likfe and to think they came and gone (the actual child bearing years) in 3 years, is breaking my heart. I want one more, even two more, but we already have 4. His two, my kids just as much, are here 50% of the time. I pray he gets saved for so many reasons. Although he was "happy when we had out girls, he always said he would have been content not having ny more but he is glad they are here. I always dreamed of having that husband that was just as excited as me ...etc...etc....but that wasn't him and I think I feel sad about that. I kind of had to carry the excitement burden myself....=(
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  #7  
September 7th, 2012, 09:31 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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I have had a hard time with being done also. My baby is turning 2 !!! I would have more but DH is done. So I understand the mourning.
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  #8  
September 8th, 2012, 09:40 AM
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It's possible to get that surprise baby no matter what you're using We have two surprise babies and not even quite sure how the second one got here LOL . I always wanted alot of kids but because we thought we wouldn't have money for more, we said we wouldn't try for anymore after #2. God gave us two more (so far) and of course we have everything we need financially PLUS he put it on our hearts to adopt a little girl. Don't have the money for her yet but we're doing everything we can to get her. When it's HIS will, it will happen no matter the circumstances.
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  #9  
September 8th, 2012, 11:10 AM
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I understand completely. After we had our daughter my Dh said he was done (we weren't together at the time) and then when we got married two years later he said he *might* be okay with having another baby. We use pull and pray too (I also chart but I let him know when I fertile and if he wants to DTD I'm okay with it lol) and he must have it down pretty darn good because in 3 years we haven't had any surprises.

I had a huge breakdown earlier this summer where I finally realized he might never want anymore kids and I might be done with that part of my life at 23. When he wanted to talk about what was wrong I just shut him off because I didn't want to end up fighting about something that I couldn't change. Okay let me be honest, I wanted to scream at him that HE was the reason I was crying and that HE was ripping my dreams of motherhood away from me, but I didn't. I can't explain it but it was like God's quiet voice came to me and whispered "wait, Meagan, wait"...I know it sounds crazy but I swear I heard it.

Well the next day we were outside measuring the spot for our garden when he all of a sudden said "Your graduating next May right?" I told him yes and he proceeded to tell me he has been thinking a lot since he went on his TDY (a 3 month job with the military) and he has decided we can start trying in May. I took a little bit of Mark Gungor's advice and offered a few ahem...favors...and got our TTC date moved up to this December.

Although these next 4 cycles are going to be hard, I can't help but be so grateful that the Lord is giving another chance. And on terms that my Dh is okay with as well.
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  #10  
September 8th, 2012, 12:17 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OMG MAMA24ANDC : OMG, that is simply delightful! BLESS YOUR HEART! wow, what a wonderful story! I guess GOD knew what awesome people you were =)))

Corrinthians: That story gave me goosebumps!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is amazing! I'm so happy for you!! LOL...you must of almost fell over!!!! LOL...don't worry I've pleaded and promised everything in the book in return for more kids....so I know )

It's hard because I'm only 29, almost 30, and have 2 little beautiful girls of my own, and together we have 4, 50% of the time when his kids are with us from his previous marriage. They are older....11 and 9. He really only wanted 2 kids but had two more because I had to have one and then begged for 2................now 3...............which would make for a total of 5 kids (at least 50% of the time) I do feel the older ones are not going to be around as much anymore. He si so silly because he always says he's getting too old but it is such an excuse because he is only 43! A lot of people are just beginning to have kids then. Actually, most of his friends are 50 and having kids. The difference is we already have 2/4.

So strange because he always senses when I'm down about it and I on't like to always open up because I don't want to be disappointed. sometimes I do and he has said "you know I will do anything to make you happy." ....which makes me feel guilty because his happiness is important too. Whether or not he would actually commit to trying, I doubt it. Once, recently while on vaca, and a glass of wine down the hatch, he said to give him a few years. =) LOVED THAT VACATION!!! lol. I have faith so I know that even if he got a vasectomy, which he would get if I gave him the okay, that ig it was GOD's will it would be. I do have this peace too. For whatever reason as impatient as I am, I think that GOD has it planned and I do have a ray of hope. Could be delusion, not sure. lol.

I always wanted at least 4 of my own. I think I will always have baby fever but knowing I only had 2, and my child bearing years came and went in 3 years is what's killing me. I always imagined at least a decade of child bearing years and spacing them out. Being done before 30 is not what I planned. I know GOD has his own plans for us but I feel this is in part my fault because when I married him, I agreed to 1 or 2. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I wish he was of like faith so if we did get pregnant again he would see it as I do; a gift from GOD that is meant to be.
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  #11  
September 12th, 2012, 12:42 PM
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Oh honey I completely understand. I will always and forever have baby fever. Honestly there is very little that compares to the sweetness of a new baby. It's hard for me to give that up. But I've learned to be okay with trusting that God will bless me and my family with the children we are meant to have.

Rick and I do very much share the same faith and beliefs about children being a blessing but we had different opinions about how many as well and it was really hard to deal with for a while. We prayed a lot over it when I was pregnant with my third and ultimately decided "we" were done. I had my tubes tied after she was born and went through a horrible grieving period. I thought I'd made a huge mistake. But we continued to pray about it together and the Lord gave me a sense of peace. By the time she was 3, I was content with a family of 5, or at least I thought I was.

You know that saying "We plan and God laughs."? Well, about 2 1/2 years ago our 4th daughter came into our lives through a relative of Rick's. We finalized her adoption about 21 months ago. She was meant to be our daughter and I can't imagine our family without her.

Now I have this thought every once in a while (okay almost all the time) that maybe we're still not done. Maybe we could adopt just one more. (Shhhh.... don't tell my husband.) But I'm leaving it in God's hands. If He sees fit to bless us with more children then He will, in His time. That's all we can do. Ultimately, no matter how they come into our lives, it's all up to Him.

I'll be praying for you.
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  #12  
September 13th, 2012, 01:30 PM
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That is so heartwarming! omg, my heart is smiling!! Bless you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo
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