Log In Sign Up

How Important


Forum: Christian Parenting

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree2Likes
  • 1 Post By mamaginger
  • 1 Post By mamaginger

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Christian Parenting LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 6th, 2012, 11:28 AM
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 27
Send a message via Yahoo to virtuous
How important are the the normal women things to you? At least what society says women should be interested in. For example things like makeup, jewelry, perfume, shoes, accessories, clothes....I just do not see the point in anything but clothes & shoes. The rest to me is frivolous. I buy clothes to protect my body not out of fashion. I try to buy somber colors like black & grey. I do not get into color much. I think it draws attention to me. I go out of my way to not look overly attractive. I do not want to cause any man to stumble. I do not dress frumpy though. No jumpers or frumpers for me. I stick with denim skirts & tops. I go for denim at all times. The length is a bit over the knees or above the ankle. I wear sleeveless, short sleeve, & long sleeve tops. I love shawls. Very old fashioned & warm. I never wear dresses. I like flip flops, ballet flats, & knee high boots. I also wear tennis shoes. I like to keep it all simple. It costs less to dress simple. It makes the husband content & that is always my goal with him. To keep the peace. Especially regarding the money. I do nothing to my hair but trim it every 6 weeks. I do not wear a wedding ring every day. Just when I go out which is rare. I do not cover. How about you?

Last edited by virtuous; September 6th, 2012 at 11:32 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 6th, 2012, 11:54 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,305
Well i feel like the Bible teaches that inner beauty is MOST important but I don't think it teaches that outer beauty isn't important. Obviously people will have different definitions of beauty but God's creation alone shows us that beauty is important to Him. When someone dies what do we do? We give them flowers.....something beautiful for them to look at to make them feel better. I think you can be fashionable (depending on what that is in your culture) but remain modest and not cause anyone to stumble. God created every color of the rainbow and probably more colors than we are even able to see right now. I love color and I know God loves color and beauty.

Proverbs 31 talks about a virtuous woman. Verse 22 says "she is clothed in fine linen and purple."

Song of Solomon 4 talks about the woman being beautiful....wearing jewelry and perfume. Chapter 7 talks about her hair being like a "royal tapestry."

I know the verses in the NT that talk about a woman's beauty not coming from jewelry, etc....but I think it is just illustrating that true beauty is within and even if a woman is "beautiful" on the outside, she will seem "ugly" to those who know her if she doesn't have inner beauty. Sad to say, I know many women like this. Hair always done, nails done, tons of jewelry, expensive makeup, expensive designer clothes, high heels......and a heart full of blackness. People who know them almost can't see their outer beauty anymore.

I like to look beautiful for my husband but also for myself. I dress modestly (for our culture) and don't feel that I tempt anyone in that kind of way. People appreciate "classy" beauty. No one likes to see anyone not looking their best. Looking good, having nice clothes or a nice haircut doesn't have to mean that you are superficial, immodest or drawing attention to yourself.

I do my own nails (when I want to), I've never dyed my hair, I wear earrings and sometimes other jewelry (rings don't fit much right now) and I try to wear nice clothes but definitely don't shop designer and have a different outfit for every day, every week, every month. Right now I'm sitting in my pjs with no makeup and haven't showered. LOL Before my husband gets home, I'll at least get dressed, put makeup on and fix my hair!
jeweluv likes this.
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

Reply With Quote
  #3  
September 6th, 2012, 12:05 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,305
Quote:
Originally Posted by virtuous View Post
How important are the the normal women things to you? At least what society says women should be interested in. For example things like makeup, jewelry, perfume, shoes, accessories, clothes....I just do not see the point in anything but clothes & shoes. The rest to me is frivolous. I buy clothes to protect my body not out of fashion. I try to buy somber colors like black & grey. I do not get into color much. I think it draws attention to me. I go out of my way to not look overly attractive. I do not want to cause any man to stumble. I do not dress frumpy though. No jumpers or frumpers for me. I stick with denim skirts & tops. I go for denim at all times. The length is a bit over the knees or above the ankle. I wear sleeveless, short sleeve, & long sleeve tops. I love shawls. Very old fashioned & warm. I never wear dresses. I like flip flops, ballet flats, & knee high boots. I also wear tennis shoes. I like to keep it all simple. It costs less to dress simple. It makes the husband content & that is always my goal with him. To keep the peace. Especially regarding the money. I do nothing to my hair but trim it every 6 weeks. I do not wear a wedding ring every day. Just when I go out which is rare. I do not cover. How about you?
Can I ask what your religions affiliation and background is?
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

Reply With Quote
  #4  
September 6th, 2012, 01:00 PM
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 27
Send a message via Yahoo to virtuous
Pre-marriage I was all about women things. After I met my husband I tossed it all out the window. It was ridiculous to me. He has never cared about such things so I am off the hook. To me it matters what God thinks not my husband. Harsh but true. JMO. It is all too much work. I do not care about many things that I did in the past so I just feel that it is God telling me that it is not good for me. I used to up until last month exercise religiously each day. I have since been feeling that God does not think it is good for me to do now. I did not get anything out if it except being toned & fit. That seems very selfish & worldy. I have given up all my other past hobbies. I no longer enjoy doing much. I need to make my life more restrictive. I need to remember my place. My husband has a full life. He is far more deserving than I. God is very pleased with him. At least I hope he is. My husband seems to think he is. I still do household things, laundry, clean & cook because it all has to be done. In all these things like my recent feelings on things to other things that have been happening for years, I feel I am being disciplined for sin in my life. My husband says it is all stupid so I gave up years ago telling him some things. I know now not to say a word. He does not want to hear it. Lol Also he does not care for fitness or being healthy like most men. Being happy & having joy is not a requirement for this life. Expecting support & yes even love is not required. If God does these things that is right. A man does not need to do these things even if commanded by God. Men will do as they please. Even if I am doing what God says I still have to just accept my life for what it is. Even if that means not liking it. I keep my mouth silent. Asking to be happy & being content could be considered frivolous. My role in life is to be married & be a keeper. That is it. I expect nothing more. A roof, food, & clothes.





Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaginger View Post
Well i feel like the Bible teaches that inner beauty is MOST important but I don't think it teaches that outer beauty isn't important. Obviously people will have different definitions of beauty but God's creation alone shows us that beauty is important to Him. When someone dies what do we do? We give them flowers.....something beautiful for them to look at to make them feel better. I think you can be fashionable (depending on what that is in your culture) but remain modest and not cause anyone to stumble. God created every color of the rainbow and probably more colors than we are even able to see right now. I love color and I know God loves color and beauty.

Proverbs 31 talks about a virtuous woman. Verse 22 says "she is clothed in fine linen and purple."

Song of Solomon 4 talks about the woman being beautiful....wearing jewelry and perfume. Chapter 7 talks about her hair being like a "royal tapestry."

I know the verses in the NT that talk about a woman's beauty not coming from jewelry, etc....but I think it is just illustrating that true beauty is within and even if a woman is "beautiful" on the outside, she will seem "ugly" to those who know her if she doesn't have inner beauty. Sad to say, I know many women like this. Hair always done, nails done, tons of jewelry, expensive makeup, expensive designer clothes, high heels......and a heart full of blackness. People who know them almost can't see their outer beauty anymore.

I like to look beautiful for my husband but also for myself. I dress modestly (for our culture) and don't feel that I tempt anyone in that kind of way. People appreciate "classy" beauty. No one likes to see anyone not looking their best. Looking good, having nice clothes or a nice haircut doesn't have to mean that you are superficial, immodest or drawing attention to yourself.

I do my own nails (when I want to), I've never dyed my hair, I wear earrings and sometimes other jewelry (rings don't fit much right now) and I try to wear nice clothes but definitely don't shop designer and have a different outfit for every day, every week, every month. Right now I'm sitting in my pjs with no makeup and haven't showered. LOL Before my husband gets home, I'll at least get dressed, put makeup on and fix my hair!

Last edited by virtuous; September 6th, 2012 at 01:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
September 6th, 2012, 07:37 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,395
going out on a limb, virtuous.....

Although women are supposed to be in subjection to their husbands and obey them, GOD does not think thee is a single person above anyone else. And, this is risky to say, but i feel you need to ehar it because you sound like you are beating yourself up, but it seems like your husband thinks he has it all figured out when in fact,THIS IS WHAT THE BIBLE WARNS AGAINST. Our LORD GOD does not truly think any of us is better than the next because we dress a certain way, follow certain rules. He gives us guidelines of how to do things but if our salvation was based on laws and rituals we would still be very much into following rules that is done with conservative Judiasm. (I know this because I had a friend that was Orthodox)

You remind me of myself. I am not a very confident person and always think someone knows better than me. It is easy for me to give you advice but I known intimately what it feels like to think you are always wrong and need to trust others more than yourself/GOD. I think GOD wants us to live in subjection and be happy with what we have but NEVER allow another person to dictae our relationship with HIM!! Your husband is not the go between you and GOD...you are =)))) GOD created you, reached out to you, and LOVES YOU..INDEPENDENTLY THEN FOR WHY HE LOVES YOUR DH!!

I always think I should and AM being punished. Isn't it wonderful that GOD does not punish us for all our sins? He died for us so that all our stupidness and horribleness could be forgiven. Maybe GOD has already forgiven you but the only thing holding you back is you forgiving yourself and feeling that you need to fit the mold your husband sees rather than what your heart is telling you.

My husband is very much like yours except he is not CHRISTIAN...which is funny that he is till like your husband in that he is very sure of himself. Now grantid, I apologize if I am making any assumptions....but I'm just trying to relate because I too always doubt myself and think I am deserving of whatever terriblness I get. In my heart I think that people who are this humble have a leg up.

In regards to fashion, looks, etc. i think say you have someone who is very into outwardly appearancwe which at times can seem UNGODLY bc of what he advices, that same person might be lacking or drifting in other areas. We all have our besetting sins. I can't speak for GOD but from the scripture I have gathered that whether or not you wear a lot of make up , get your nails done or not, is not really what he is after.....so trivial. He wants you. A relationship with the REAL you!
__________________
Make a pregnancy ticker
[SIZE="4"] [SIZE="7"]


Lee and Erica by Jadelm, on Flickr
Reply With Quote
  #6  
September 7th, 2012, 08:30 AM
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 27
Send a message via Yahoo to virtuous
Of course I am. *It needs to be done for my own good. *This keeps me accountable. *It also helps by me doing this first. *My husband is very intelligent & is very knowledgeable on theology. *Many men at church look to him as an authority on the subject. *He has also been a lay men of sorts. *Taught a few subjects as well. The preacher is good friends with him. *I have in the past raised questions to him but he will correct me by showing me scriptures that back up his answers. *I have no choice but to believe him. *Why else would God send him my way or have him teach me?*. Why else would God have sent us to this church with this preacher?

I have been told that this is incorrect. *God does care. *I do not think about it but just act & dress accordingly per the Bible. *Women are to dress modestly in all things.*

Not completely true. *In the past I was VERY independent, confident, *& secure in who I was & what I believed. *I was not afraid to speak up at all. After I married I was corrected because my attitudes & thinking were ALL wrong. I realized I met my match so to speak & took a back seat knowing that this was my role from now on. *It has been a less stressful journey this way.*

My husband does not want to see the real Christian woman my heart is telling me to be. *I tried that in the past & was told my way was incorrect. *So I keep doing what is expected of me. *I have to do it since there is no other way. *If I were to do what I REALLY feel it would not be supported or encouraged. *



*In response to Jewel

Last edited by virtuous; September 7th, 2012 at 08:33 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
November 8th, 2012, 12:48 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,305
HAHAAHa.....so I came to page 5 for the "Challenge" and found all these "Virtuous" posts. I totally ran that girl off! OOops!
jeweluv likes this.
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

Reply With Quote
  #8  
November 10th, 2012, 10:15 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Somewhere in the universe =P
Posts: 192
Definitely less important than air, food and water. For me, womanly things that you could live even without, are all vanity.
__________________
I have the best job in the world the second time! -- and I'm lovin' it!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:42 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0