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Want to homeschool...going to be an obstacle to convince Nay sayers.


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  • 1 Post By mamaginger
  • 1 Post By mamaginger
  • 2 Post By mamma_anna
  • 1 Post By jeweluv

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  #1  
September 14th, 2012, 06:34 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Although dh is a doctor, he is a fam practice doctor, and despite the unfairness of him having to pay a huge child support payment every month (thousands of dollars) plus add ons, WHEN the kids are really with us more, we cannot afford private school. DH is fine with public school but to be honest, I am weary. I do not judge or think parents that decide public school is right for their children are wrong I just feel that for me, I don't want to give my kids up to a stystem for 8 hours a day from age 5 on. It's draining being a mom but I still don't want to sacrifice all that time with them. I also feel that children are under even more pressure than we were as kids to fit in, excel, and grow up faster. I so desire for my children to be able to have a childhood filled with more things than just standardized tests and feeling like they have to fit in. I worry about my girls, knowing my dear step daughter is already exposed and subjected, being 10 and already into things that I feel children don't have the knowledge to filter.

My ENTIRE family disagrees with me. I, of course, don't want evolution taught as fact but to be honest, I went through public school, and that wasn't really even taught. Right now I carry the responsibility of teaching my Christian faith to my children as I am the only one in my family who is Christian. DH thinks homeschooling is "out there" but he also has been brought up very differently. Although he shuts things off at first, we do have good communication so there is a chance I can change his mind.

I know most of my family thinks it is my being controlling/over protective but to be honest; it's true and I'm okay with that. I feel that while my children are young, I want to shelter them from the things they are not strong enough to reject. Yes, I can't put them in a bubble but I can sure guide them and expose them to more of things that I feel will make them develop as a person.

This will be a long road..........not sure I can make it happen but was wondering if anyone had any advice/arguements to make for homeschooling that I could maybe present. I know about HS groups and all the trips, extra curriculars, groups that can be involved, but I'm afriad this is not enough to convince.

Hope you ladies have a wonderful weekend! xoxox
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  #2  
September 15th, 2012, 03:54 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well first of all the only nay sayer you really have to worry about is your kids' father. You and he are the only two opinions that matter or count on how you raise your children. I remember when I was pregnant with my son and homeschooling was mentioned, my dad said "no grandchild of mine is going to be home schooled!" my mom immediately told him it was none of his business and she was exactly right.

Your husband obviously has some sort of stereotype of what homeschooling is like in his head. You need to do your research and then present your "case" to him. Because of his lack of faith, I would say to base it on academics and "moral" values rather than anything "Christian" specifically (even though thats what you ultimately want.)

We joined a group called "Classical Conversations." It is Christian and it's nationwide. You can go to classicalconversations.com and put in your zip code and see if there is one near you. You can visit a group nearby (if there is one) to see what it's like. I visited one here in April and immediately signed up after my visit. We absolutely LOVE it. It does cost about $500 for the year but it's been totally worth it.

For me, the decision was a lot like what you are feeling...I hated the idea of my child being "raised" by strangers for 7-8 hrs a day. 4k was fine and wonderful....half day and his teacher was a close friend. 5K was terrible and 1st grad e was just really redundant and boring. Every day was the next worksheet on the list. Everything was the same. No science. No social studies. Everything is math and reading...math and reading in public school. (at least that's how it is here in the early grades). The public school system HAS to cater to the children who struggle to read and learn basic math so they can keep their test scores up. I am a certified teacher and taught public school myself so I'm not just basing this on a "parents" opinion. I LOVED my child's school. I got special permission for him to go there. My pastors wife is the principal! Yet I still felt like my bright little boy, thirsty for knowledge was basically being taught to despise school. He LOVES science and mechanics. By the time he starts getting any of that in public school, his thirst for that kind of knowledge will be completely squashed by boring, repetitive worksheets and textbooks.

Sending but typing more..
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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #3  
September 15th, 2012, 04:12 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just read a book called "The Core" By Leigh Bortins. It's based on classical education and refers to the group classical conversations. It shows how education use to be and how it is now. It gives statistics for how much more well-rounded and what better readers kids were who were classically educated versus those who are in a modern public school system.

Ok...going to eat and gotta charge my iPad....be back later.
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #4  
September 15th, 2012, 06:41 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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From being a teacher I can tell you that tons of the 7 hours at school are eaten up with "transitions" (changing classes or lining up for recess/bathroom/library/art etc)...also tons of time where some kids finish before others and are left to sit and wait or do busywork to keep them quiet. A lot of time is wasted while teachers have to fuss at students or redirect them. Time is wasted from drop off at school to actual start of lessons and then again at the end of the day. Pickup this year was at 2:25 but the kids would start packing up at 2:05 or 2:10. Add up that time over 180 days. Travel time to and from school along with car line adds an hour or two to the school day. If they ride a bus then it would be even more and then you have your kid on a bus with tons of other kids and the only adult is concentrating on driving. SOOOO much time is wasted and kids are exposed to so much.

Public school has only been around for about the last 100 years and only the last 50 have included children of all races. So this is a "new" concept. Kids have always been taught at home or in one-room school houses. What could be better than one on one attention and teaching tailored specifically to the child? Not to mention the teacher loves the child, is completely invested in them ad knows all their needs.

I chose curriculum specifically based on my sons personality and likes/dislikes. I got a reading curriculum that is NOT worksheet
based and does not use a standard reading textbook. It uses real books that we go check out at the library. I can use the
teacher guide from now through middle school if we want. We would just check out different books based on his reading level.
Our math is manipulatives based but does have practice sheets. However, you can do as few or as many as you like. We may only do three a week and there are only about 15 problems and some of them are using the manipulatives and not writing anything. If we get to a concept later on that's harder for him we can do all 6 or 8 pages if we need to....or we can spend two full weeks on it. He's not being held back or rushed forward because of other students.

We read and talk about history every day now and I got a creation based science book that includes activities and experiments. He tested 4th grade for spelling so that's the level I ordered. If he were in pub school he would be doing words 2 grade levels below where he is currently working and able.
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16


Last edited by mamaginger; September 15th, 2012 at 07:10 PM.
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  #5  
September 16th, 2012, 08:38 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
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My Dh was not for homeschooling in the begining either. It took me a year for him to come around. And now he likes it also and sees the benifits !
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  #6  
September 18th, 2012, 12:42 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ginger, can I just say that I love reading your responses?! Always very informative and thoughtful.

Now on to your post Erica.

I will admit that I was one of those naysayers once upon a time. I always respected those who chose to homeschool but I never thought I could do it. I am a music teacher so teaching is in me but I never thought I could manage to teach ALL the things my kids needed to learn and I worried waaaay too much about "socialization". (I know, I know, silly me! )

Then my sweet Ellie came along and changed my mind. (She has a habbit of doing that. ) Ultimately the decision for us came down to some major safety and health concerns for her and the fact that she wasn't being taught anything or challenged at all in her special ed preschool. They wanted to keep her in preschool for an extra year and I didn't see any hope that things would improve for her there. So we pulled her out and homeschooled her for pre-k. It was the best decision we could have made.

Ellie blossomed at home! I discovered that she was already reading at a 2nd grade level. She was struggling with some basic math concepts but we were able to work on them in a creative and non-threatening way and now math is one of her best subjects.

And the best part about homeschooling her for those months was how much she was able to heal and grow emotionally. Because she got the individual attention and nurturing that she needed, and she wasn't overwhelmed by a large and busy classroom where just 1 or 2 teachers were trying to care for 12 children with multiple special needs, she was finally able to feel safe. And for her, that changed everything.

Ellie was able to transition into kindergarten last year at the private school her sister's attend and she is doing wonderfully there now in 1st grade. She is being challenged and they are able to give her all the individual support she needs. But if that wern't the case, or if her helath status changes then I would gladly continue to homeschool.

What I learned from all of this is that there really is no "ONE SIZE FITS ALL" approach to education. Every child learns differently. There's no way that the public school system or even a good private school can meet every child's individual needs.

As a mother, you know your children better than anyone else possibly could. You know their interests, you know their skills, gifts and talents, you know what they struggle with or find boring. Who better than you to nurture a love of learning in them? And isn't that ultimately what we want school to be for?

Just some practical pro homeschooling points:

* in study after study, homeschooled students out-preform their public school peers on standardized tests and college entrance exams.

* homeschooled students are actually better socialized than their public school peers because they learn to interact with people of all ages in a variety of real world situations. They are more patient, more adaptable, better able to handle conflict, more respectful of authority, etc etc etc....

* because homeschoolers are able to learn at their own pace, start and stop when they're ready, (i.e. not being assigned to a grade based on their birthday) and/or study year round and on the weekends if they want to, many will finish high school a year or two early. This gives them either a jump start on college, or a chance to relax and explore their own interests for a while.


If you haven't already, I'd suggest checking out the homeschooling board here on JM. I haven't been there in a while but they were a HUGE blessing to me when I was trying to figure all this out. All my pro-homeschooling points came from them and I'm sure they could give you many, many more.

Good Luck!
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  #7  
September 18th, 2012, 07:05 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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WOW! Thank you, thank you, thank you ladies!!!

I actually was a former pre-k teacher before I chose to be a SAHM. I know the public systems too well and even through my older step kids. It is right for some and I don't want to be judgemental, but for me, teaching to the test is not teaching. I know how stressed teachers are to keep their jobs and they keep their jobs based on the scores of their children. This cycle is just terrible and doesn't teach kids to learn how to learn but rather memorize. (abstract thinking goes right out the window)

I TOTALLY believe kids who are homeschooled perform better socially because a lot of times when you are bombarded by peers whom you feel the need to impress or keep up with, a child will alter themselves and thus actually inhibit the development of themselves as a person.

Even though I was a teacher I always worry "will I be disciplined enough at home to teach them everything they need to know?" For me, it feels un-instinctual to give my children up from 5 on, 8 hours a day to a system/world/people that I am not a part of. I feel like it is very institutional and I say that as a former teacher too =) I don't like that it has become a breeding place for anxious children to feel they have to compete on so many levels more than just enjoy life, experience it, and learn it!

I so desire my kids to have a childhood filled with as much innocense as I can give them.

All this info is so helpful! I really know where I stand but I also know that dh is not even in a place where he can look at it with an open mind. Darn, I don't like that place. haha. I am a very persistant mommy when it comes to my kids so I will let the LORD lead. Right now we have some obstacles with faith, values in our family but I have wonderful kids, a loving husband, and a GOD that I am putting trust in.

Also a great JM forum to vent/share with =)))
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  #8  
September 19th, 2012, 07:05 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yeah I didn't even think about the whole aspect of kids altering who they really are by trying to "be cool" or "fit in." That's totally true!! I know I cared way more about my "social" life in school than I did about the academics and my grades suffered along with my self esteem. I'm so happy that my child(ren) can learn at home and then go have fun and socialize with their friends at church on weds, sundays and weekends.
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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