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Ginger (mamaginger) is "Mom of the Week"


Forum: Christian Parenting

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  #21  
October 3rd, 2012, 09:33 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,305
I can't remember the exact time in relation to the letter to my mom but it had gone so well, I decided to try it with my dad. I sent him an email just a saying that I knew he knew about the letter to mom and that he and I also had some issues we needed to discuss. It was more of an "invitation" to talk. I didn't write anything else. His reply was literally in ALL CAPS and went something like this: "I AM NOT AN ISSUE...I AM YOUR FATHER!! YOU HAVE BUILT A WALL AGAINST ME FOR YEARS! HOW DARE YOU SEND ME AN IMPERSONAL EMAIL!"

There was more but those are the quotes I can remember. So needless to say...that was the end of that. Like everything else in our family, you don't communicate or follow up on anything. The next time you happen to see one another you are suppose to just act like nothing ever happened. So that's what we did.

My sister was genuinely excited and she and I started talking more. She was off at college at this time and we pretty much only communicated when someone died or on a birthday.

I was in the hospital 9 days before and after having Denton. I was very sick.

To be cont....
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #22  
October 3rd, 2012, 11:04 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok back from my marathon drs appt....i'll post about that later....

So Denton was born March 18, 2005...a month early. He was healthy. I was a sick mess. Idk if it was the hormones crashing after birth or what but I was a little out of my mind for a week or two. Things settled down and went great the next few months. I was done teaching for the current year and wouldn't start back until late August part time. Denton was such a good/easy baby. He slept well, ate well and barely ever cried.

I started a new teaching job at a new school since I was going part time and it was kind of a disaster. It was a brand new school and we didn't have everything we needed when school started. The principal was stressed. I was stressed. Even though it was p/t I felt like I was totally missing out on raising and being with my baby. He was almost 6 months old by this time. I worked 11 -2:30 so it basically just meant I didn't get up as early and then spent an hour getting ready for work so it felt like a full day anyway. I was trying to pump at work during lunch and then my principal informed me it was every teacher's duty to stay 30 mins after school. This just REALLY made me crack. I tried to reason with her that the other half-time teacher wouldn't have this "duty" because she worked the morning shift and that since I was a half-time employee, even if I was required to do the duty, maybe it could only be 15 mins. Every minute was PRECIOUS to me and trying to breastfeed/pump made 30 extra minutes gone from home seem unbearable to me. Well the principal was nasty to me and told me "it sounds like you're going to do whatever you want anyway." She then proceeded to "observe" me teaching one day and gave me a BAD report. I had taught for 3 years in another area of the county and had nothing but GOOD reports and the special ed department especially said that I was one of the only ones who did my paperwork correctly. They would even have ME help the older teachers to do their paperwork. I remember the regular 6th grade teachers saying that I had "the model classroom." So to be treated like some trouble making BAD teacher REALLY upset me. I went to my special ed coordinator who immediately told me I should go speak with the Area Administrator. I did that and my principal called me in and changed her tune. Anyway, long story short.....I was miserable anyway because I was stressed and wanted to be home with my baby. I remember sitting at my computer during lunch one day and wishing I just had a desk job sitting behind a computer. I could just get up and walk away from it when my time was up. After 6 weeks of school, I resigned. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I felt SO horrible for quitting and leaving the kids in limbo. But I HAD to do it. I remember telling Matt, either I have to quit my job or I'm going to need to be on medication. So I quit.

Surprisingly...my dad called me wanting me to help him at work. He had started his own landscaping company a couple years earlier after managing a nursery and landscape crew for 25 years. He was a disorganized mess and couldn't handle all the paperwork and payroll AND do the physical work and manage employees. I was a little uneasy about it and could see it going horribly wrong but, again, I was desperate to have a connection to my parents that FORCED us to be together and communicate so I said yes. I would take Denton with me and my mom would get to spend time with him while a worked a couple hours in the office (my old bedroom....lol).

Again, surprisingly, it went well. My dad is still my dad....he's still the same person but I'm an adult now. I don't live there. He needs me to do a job and I'm doing it. It was also nice to finally get SOME kind of approval from him and he was always saying that he didn't know what he would do if I wouldn't have come and how much better things were with me there. He always acted amazed at anything I could do on the computer. So I got my "wish" to work a desk job behind a computer and "leave it" there when work was done. I also went from holidays and birthdays to seeing my parents every week and bringing Denton with me. I'm not saying we were all warm, fuzzy and functional but it was an improvement.

Being a mom was the greatest thing in the world to me. Every day when I would wake up and see him in his crib, I felt like it was Christmas morning.

We did have some rough financial years and times in our marriage where we were disconnected from each other. I had basically "lost" $30,000 a year by quitting teaching and Matt had attempted a new venture and was making NOTHING. It was rough. He got depressed and touchy. I got annoyed at his attitude and we grew apart a little. We prayed for 3 years for things to change and finally they did. He got the job he has now (although only as a temp) and things started to improve greatly. We also had lots of long talks and regained our closeness. We are closer than we've ever been now.
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__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #23  
October 3rd, 2012, 11:34 AM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
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Oh my Ginger, I hope I can write half this much There is so many parts of your story that sounds like mine :lol
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  #24  
October 3rd, 2012, 11:50 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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In 2009 my Grandma died. My Grandaddy had died in 2001 and she went into a nursing home right after that. Them being gone changed the dynamic of our whole family. Its still not the same. I miss them so badly. Everyone kind of fell apart after they died. The strain of taking care of a sick parent and dealing with attorney's and selling houses and putting all of their stuff in storage took it's toll on my aunts and uncles (and mom). They all started bickering. It was 3 against 1 and my mom was somewhere in the middle. The oldest and youngest argued constantly. My mom tried to stay out of everything and then they all got irritated with her for not helping. Then just after Grandma died, my Uncle Randy (her son and my mom's brother) was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. He died very suddenly one night in his apartment 3 months after the diagnosis. :*( My Aunt Lisa (in the pictures above) was with him when he died. He basically "drowned" in his own blood. It was horrible. She was traumatized. We were all in shock. Lisa was Power of Attorney for Grandma AND Randy so she had to deal with all of that (and still is today) within 6 months of each other.

So as 2010 went on, I had been working with my dad 5 years. The relationship was still the same but "better" in some ways because it was cordial and we were seeing each other regularly. Denton was in 4K at a local public school where my good friend was his teacher and the principal was one of our pastor's wives. WE loved it.

I noticed my mom becoming more and more distant and disconnected. She was complaining of things like reflux, gagging, stomach problems and was constantly sickly and laying around. She kept going to the dr. but I knew it was anxiety/depression. There was a day where she was trying to tell me that Lisa needed her to come up and help her sort through Grandma and Randy's stuff and she literally kept gagging and almost choking while she was talking about it. I knew that it was going to probably cause all kinds of mess but I knew that I had to talk to her about depression and seeing a psychiatrist. Even my dad was coming to me and saying he was worried about her. I finally told her one day that I thought she was depressed. Like Erica always says....she looked at me like I had 5 heads. lol She tried to convince me that while she was sad about her mom and brother dying, it wasn't THAT big of a deal. I told her to please at least talk to her OBGYN about it at her next appt, which was that same month. She agreed to do that and the dr. immediately prescribed anxiety and depression meds. It was like the actual admission and diagnosis caused her to hit rock bottom. She had actually acknowledged to an outside person that things weren't right in her life and got confirmation that she needed help. You don't know what a HUGE deal this is for MY parents. Everything is swept under the rug. WE admit and acknowledge NOTHING! So she took the pills ONCE and freaked out. She read all the possible side effects and convinced herself that the meds were going to kill her. She very quickly became almost completely catatonic. She wouldn't take the meds. She was twisting and pulling out her hair, picking at her face (she had bloody spots all over) and would literally sit and stare blankly. Once I tried talking to her and she just stared at me. No response. I remember crying and saying "MOM!" and She just looked at me. It was awful. She wouldn't take the meds or see a dr. I felt so helpless. I took her home with me one day because I was scared for her to be alone. (dad was working, my sister was intentionally being distant and my brother was out of town recording a record with his band). She barely responded to Denton and would just stand and stare at her reflection in a mirror or glass door and just twist her hair. It was awful. The next day at work, I told my dad she didn't need to be alone and we needed to get her out of the house so we took her to lunch. Denton was with us. As soon as we all got out of the car to go in the restaurant, I heard my dad say "What is this? Debbie! What did you do?!!" She had cut herself. :*( She had tried to cut the vein in her arm with a box cutter either earlier in the day or the day before. I didn't want to scare Denton so I told my dad that we should just go in the restaurant and act normal until Matts mom could come get Denton. My mom wasn't responding to anything anyway. I called my MIL to get Denton and then called my aunt Lisa and my sister. Me and my dad quietly talked about what we would do after lunch. I knew that she couldn't be admitted against her will to a psychiatric facility but since she had technically attempted suicide, this was our chance. So after Denton was picked up, we took her to the ER. Frighteningly, she STILL had to CONSENT to be admitted. She was completely out of her mind and catatonic. Of course, she refused multiple times but finally consented. THANK GOD. It was a horrible 5 days. She cried and begged for us to take her home. She was convinced people were after her and trying to kill her.

As a side note, one thing stood out to me was while visiting my mom one day. I mentioned to my dad something about "when I use to work on this unit" and he says "you worked here?" It just hit me. I had worked at that hospital for 2 years in college WHILE I lived at home and he never knew it. If that's not a picture of just HOW disconnected we are as a family, I don't know what is. How does your daughter have a job for two years and you not even realize it? I'll talk about friends I hung out with every day for years and he'll say "Who??" He doesn't even know who my friends were. I also realized during that same conversation that my dad has blue eyes. I never knew what color his eyes were because we really never made eye contact. If we were in close proximity, he was standing over me and I was looking at the floor. If we were further apart, he had those big ugly glasses and I was STILL looking at the floor. ANyway....those two things just really hit me that day.

Ugh...im making this so long and drawn out. I'm sorry. So because of the inpatient admission, my mom was put on meds and had to have regular appointments with a psychiatrist. When she first came home she was still a little unstable and having some delusions. My dad and I went with her to her first few appts with the psych. She basically told the dr. the cause of her anxiety was my dad's drinking and worrying that he would suddenly die of a heart attack. She's never worked and wouldn't know how to take care of herself. Of course my dad laughed it off as being "an Irishman who likes a drink now an then." (We're Irish by the way. I was even and Irish dancer for a while growing up. )

Anyway, the more time that went by the better my mom got. The biggest improvement was after a full year. My dad even eased up on his drinking some.

I forgot to mention in all this that my sister had a baby girl when Denton was 2 and I actually kept her for 2 years. This, of course, meant that we had to see each other and communicate on a daily basis. We became much closer during this time. However, when all this happened with my mom it caused some friction between us. She had put my niece in daycare by this time and we weren't agreeing on what was best for mom.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Countrymom4 View Post
Oh my Ginger, I hope I can write half this much There is so many parts of your story that sounds like mine :lol
Well my dr. told me to stay in the recliner so I'm just doing what I was told! lol
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16


Last edited by mamaginger; October 3rd, 2012 at 11:55 AM.
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  #25  
October 3rd, 2012, 12:30 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Unfortunately, once the crisis stage was over with, we have all drifted apart again. I'm only working a few hours 2 days a week. Until this year, Denton was in school while I worked so they weren't seeing him. Although I want to have a better relationship with my parents, there's still a part of me that just wants to run away and be in my "safe place" with my church family and of course, Matt and Denton. Our little family is so happy and we have the greatest church family and friends. I feel like a whole new person around them. I feel a like a dark cloud is over me when I'm around my parents. There's something almost physically oppressive there. My mom is starting to exhibit some of the same symptoms as before....reflux and heart problems. She just went to a cardiologist a couple weeks ago and they couldn't find anything wrong. I feel like it's anxiety again. She's never dealt with WHY she got that way. She talks to her dr. but I had set up a christian counselor for her to JUST talk and set up goals for herself. She went once. She said she felt like if she talked to someone about her problems she would end up having to get a divorce. I don't know if she knows deep down that my dad is the cause of all her pain and doesn't want to admit that openly OR if she thinks a counselor would "recommend" divorce. *sigh* Anyway...I'm a little afraid even on the meds, that the cycle may start over again.

So back to Denton.... He went to 5K and 1st grade at the same school. I became heavily involved in the PTO and was the treasurer for 2 years. He hated school. 5K was a rude awakening from 4K. He's very smart and inquisitive. He LOVES science and mechanics. The drone of sitting in a desk doing worksheets or listening to someone talk was crushing his desire to learn. He's also about the most talkative and stubborn child I've ever seen so that never went well for him in school. Matt always asks him if his mouth ever gets tired. LOL Denton is definitely strong-willed and stubborn but he's so gentle and funny and cute. He makes me laugh every day. He's definitely a mamas boy. He loves Matt but I have a feeling this little girl on the way is going to be the one who clings to Matt. Poor Matt always pictured his children running to the door screaming "daddy!!!" and hugging him when he got home from work. That's just not really Denton's personality. lol He will ask me 100 times when daddy's coming home but when he walks through the door, Denton barely acknowledges him.

I've learned so much from Denton. I've learned and realized so much of how God sees ME as his child. I've learned a lot from Denton's questions to me about God and the world. He sees things completely innocently. He usually asks all of his deep questions about things when we're riding in the car. That child has learned more about God in that car than anywhere else, I think!

Denton loves cats. We have always been cat people. We have 3 now (that we claim as pets) but there is a stray mama kitty that had 5 kittens in our back yard. We're working on catching them this week actually. We can't have 9 cats! He just got a fish last week and loves catching toads, worms or whatever creatures he can find outside. He loves to swim. We have a pool. He loves the beach. We actually both have food allergies. I never mentioned that in all my ramblings. I'm deathly allergic to all nuts. He is also allergic to nuts and was allergic to EVERYTHING as a baby. We had to do the rice milk, no egg, no wheat thing for about 3 years. We also both have asthma so we both take Zyrtec and inhalers every day.

We added a master bedroom onto our house 2 years ago and turned our old bedroom into part hall, part walk in closet and part Denton's new room. (it was a big room) So we and Denton both have cool new rooms and baby Mollie will have Denton's old room. It's tiny but good for a nursery. Matt just finished re-doing the room for Mollie. I can post pics of all that later too. When we moved in here, it was suppose to be a temporary 2 year place to live but has turned into a permanent 13 year place that I NEVER want to leave. We all love the outdoors and love working in the yard. I guess I inherited some landscaping skills from my dad so I'm always planting something. I love gardening and I love watching/attracting new birds, butterflies and other creatures. My yard and house has become a part of me. I can't imagine ever leaving it even though my neighborhood isn't the greatest. My wonderful inlaws are right next door now. WE immediately cut a gate in the fence between our back yards when they moved in so we're both always walking over to visit.

Denton is 7 now and in the 2nd grade. As you know, we are home schooling this year and we love it. I feel so much smarter already! lol He still begs to do science experiments all the time. He loves video games and loves to sit and watch "Chopped" (food network) or America's Funniest Home Videos with us. He loves to read funny books like Junie B Jones or joke books. We read together every night and go to the library at least every other week. He is a tiny little thing. He can still wear a lot of size 5 stuff. He's always a year or two behind his size of pants/shorts. He's 46 lbs. He's a very picky eater. I think it's because he couldn't' eat ANYTHING for 3 years. I try to get him to try new things but he usually refuses. His BFF is HUGE! IT's so funny to see them together! They love each other to death but they look like they're 3 years apart and they're the same age. Denton is fearless and loves an adrenaline rush. He loves roller coasters, tubing behind boats and stuff like that. His BFF is terrified of all that stuff. We all went to Disney together earlier this year and it was so funny to see tiny little Denton rushing to the next big ride and his poor "big" friend crying because he was scared. They are so funny together though. We are great friends with his parents too. One of the college guys at church who works with the kids came up to us after church one night and said "I love that your kids are best friends. They are hilarious together!" LOL

Ok..enough Ginger...enough!! haha...signing off for now..
jeweluv likes this.
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #26  
October 3rd, 2012, 01:51 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh my gosh!! Ginger, thank you for sharing all of this with us!!

I'm really struck by how even with the details of our personal stories being so different, a lot of the struggles are the same. It will be really interesting to read everyone else's stories and see the similarities we all share.

I'm sorry for all the difficulties you've had with your family. That's never easy. But it sounds like you have handled it with such grace.

I loved reading about Denton! He sounds like such an amazing little boy! Is he excited to be a big brother?

Isn't the car a great classroom? That's where my kids have a lot of great discussions too!
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  #27  
October 3rd, 2012, 01:52 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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Oh my Ginger our storys are getting more and more alike....I raised my niece for almost 2 years
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  #28  
October 3rd, 2012, 03:56 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamma_anna View Post
Oh my gosh!! Ginger, thank you for sharing all of this with us!!

I'm really struck by how even with the details of our personal stories being so different, a lot of the struggles are the same. It will be really interesting to read everyone else's stories and see the similarities we all share.

I'm sorry for all the difficulties you've had with your family. That's never easy. But it sounds like you have handled it with such grace.

I loved reading about Denton! He sounds like such an amazing little boy! Is he excited to be a big brother?

Isn't the car a great classroom? That's where my kids have a lot of great discussions too!
He is excited. I was actually surprised. I had a miscarriage a couple years ago but when we told him we were having a baby he cried and said he didn't want one and he liked being "the only kid in the house.". This time he reacted completely different. He's very excited. He did want a brother and fought accepting we were having a girl but he's use to it now and talks about Mollie every day like she's already here.
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #29  
October 4th, 2012, 11:10 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Day 4: Faith/Church/Current Life

So as I mentioned before I grew up Catholic, attended kind of a non-denominational youth group/church during my preteen and teen years and then at 17, when Matt and I started dating, we went to his home church. We still attend the same church and we LOVE IT. The denomination is "Congregational Holiness" but it doesn't really "mean" anything. We are very different than the other CH churches and one of our pastors even teaches at least one subject that is the opposite of what the denomination teaches.

Most of the people are ex-baptists or other similar denoms. Theres a small group of people who grew up CH and have been there their whole lives. The pastor who married us died several years ago. He had been there 30 something years. His son, Stephen is the pastor now. We also have two other pastors: Jody (focus on youth) and Jonathan (focus on adult ministries). I ADORE all three of them. They are all between 35 and 45 and grew up in that church together so it's like having 3 brothers as pastors. They all are so completely humble and down to earth. They don't sit in "thrones" on the stage. (I hate that). They don't require that anyone call them "pastor so-and-so" (although a lot of people do) or wear robes or anything like that. They never act like they know more than you or are holier than you. They all are quick to remind us that they are servants and sinners just like us and that we can all "get" to Jesus just as quickly as they can. Coming from the Catholic church, this is a HUGE change. No one has to go through a priest to gain forgiveness of sins. We certainly would NEVER refer to another man as "Holy Father." There are no golden boxes, long ornate robes, incense, candles, statues, thrones or anything else like that. Its just men God has called to shepherd a flock of people and teach them about the Bible. These men are just like Peter and Paul. They are flawed human beings who know they aren't worthy or holy outside of God. They are married with families just like everyone else.

Jonathan is the one I've learned everything from. He is completely self-taught and uncorrupted by "seminary." I'm not saying seminary is all bad but I see what they teach the new guys who just started college in the past 2 years. Jonathan is Holy Spirit taught and he reads and studies his Bible more than anyone I've ever known. He can quote the entire book of Hebrews from memory. You can ask him about any topic and he can quote 2, 3 or more verses on that topic completely from memory. He amazes everyone. He's the youngest and newest on staff but the other pastors even defer to him and ask him questions about the Bible. I'm in his Sunday School class, Wednesday night class and he also preaches in regular church every other Sunday night. I feel like I know HOW to study the Bible now because of him. I never felt like I could memorize scripture. Now I know I can. I never felt like I could even crack open the book of Revelation. Now I have read it and continue to study it. Sunday School is my favorite time because it's all older people and they are so smart. We ALL argue, question and disagree with Jonathan sometimes and he is SO patient and so dignified. He will listen and nod and then he will just quote scripture on the topic. If the person arguing their point still disagrees with the scripture, we all just laugh and move on to the next subject. No one ever gets mad and no one ever gets condemned for questioning or disagreeing. It's awesome!!

Matt has been a deacon in our church for 12 years or so. He also runs the sound. I have been in the choir and on the praise team (alto) for about 12 years as well. I LOVE the choir. We have the greatest choir!! Pastor Stephen's wife, Sherry is our choir director. We have a live band made up of church members. The majority of them are under 18 years old! I've also sung solos the past few years. I don't like to but Sherry (and others) always ask me to. It's SO nervewracking!! Matt also plays guitar (at home) and twice he's learned a song for me and played at church while I sang. That was special.

I use to teach a girls class on Weds night and I've done nursery and other stuff like that but since I had Denton I cut back on everything but choir. Now that I'm preggo again, I'll even have to stop choir for a while.

Some day, I'll force myself to "graduate" from Jonathan's classes and start teaching myself. I'm just being selfish right now! lol I love it so much.

We have so many great friends. Sunday nights (when school is out) we all go out to eat together....and when I say "all"....Im talking 60 people! There's a mexican restaurant nearby and we just kind of take over. lol We also have couple friends that we are closer to and spend time with on the weekends.
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #30  
October 4th, 2012, 11:27 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When I was pregnant with Denton, I joined an online birth club much like this one. I have developed a lot of friendships and kept in touch with at least 20 or 30 girls even to this day. There are maybe 10 of us that communicate via Facebook on a daily basis. I also met my new BFF there. She and I live about 7 hours apart but we have become SO close and it was mainly due to her asking me questions about God and the Bible. We met in person 2 or 3 years after chatting online. Now we visit one another 3 or 4 times a year and talk/text/facebook weekly. I adore her! I never thought I would find such a dear friend as an adult and online, no less! There are several of those girls who have had a major impact on my life. I've gotten so much advice from many of them. The homeschool group we are a part of now was one I heard them talk about for years. I have met 13 or 14 of them in person. We are all very different. Some are christian, some are atheist, some are somewhere in between. Some are married, some single, some divorced. We disagree on things sometimes but ultimately love one another. We've all been through a lot "together."

I'm still working for my dad about 2 days a week but I feel myself growing more distant and annoyed with him. He's just a total mess and so rude to everyone. My mom is ok but I worry that she may be regressing. My sister has been very distant again. I tried talking to her (text) a couple weeks ago and she insisted that nothing was wrong and that she was just "busy" and that's why we never see each other or talk even though we live 10 mins apart. I tried to invite her to lunch but she blew me off and told me not to "take it personally" that her best friend moved to town a year ago and she's only seen her 3 or 4 times. :/ *sigh* I tried. She's suppose to be helping my church friends with my baby shower next month. She has texted me a few times since that conversation. I wonder if she feels bad.

My brother is 25 and still living at home. He has a band. They are trying to "make it big" and have been since they were all 16. They all quit college to pursue this dream. They all still live at home. It's a punk rock band. "Veara" if you want to look it up. They have traveled the world, got a contract and everything. They have recorded some CDs and done a bunch of concerts. The only thing is...ok.....you all still live at HOME with your PARENTS. If it's not supporting you then it's still just a hobby and you need do something else! I feel like asking him....how much longer? When you're 30 and you still haven't made it big....then will you get a job and move out?? I love my brother. He and I have been closer the last couple years. When he's home, he works on the landscape crew with my dad. He and I have had a lot of talks about our parents. It's just different because even though he's only 8 years younger, it's like he's 15 because he's still living the lifestyle of a 15 year old. I wish he had a job, was married and having children. I feel like we would hang out all the time. He doesn't understand why we can't all come to his concerts at 11:00 downtown in some club. We just can't do that. We have a 7 year old. I mean, I've been before but it's not something we can do all the time. I don't know where he is with God. I'm really worried about him. He definitely doesn't go to church except on special occasions. He's drinking a lot. He just told me the other day that he had been struggling with depression and had to get meds. He also said he can't sleep and has resorted to drinking himself to sleep. This seems very out of character for him. He's always so happy go lucky and funny. Ughh....I want to talk to him about God but I don't know what to say (shocking right? lol) My sister bounces back and forth between Catholic church and Baptist (where her husband grew up) but neither of them attend faithfully. My parents go to Mass every Sunday.
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #31  
October 4th, 2012, 11:35 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: South Carolina
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Ok, I'm going to copy my pregnancy story from my Journal in the Jan DDC:


Well this long awaited pregnancy began with us TTC the Summer of 2009. In my mind, I would just stop my pills in June and be pregnant by July or August. (That's exactly what happened with my son). That didn't happen. In January of 2010 I started taking progesterone shots and tracking my temps. I just wasn't having periods at all. Later in the summer I started Metformin (a diabetic med that has a side effect of increased fertility). That didn't work. I finally took Clomid a couple months and that didn't work either. I had a positive test in October of 2010 and was so excited we told EVERYONE. It turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. After this I pretty much gave up. I decided it would just be the 3 of us and my son would just be an only child. My periods are so irregular and mostly nonexistent so I have spent a fortune taking pregnancy tests just to "make sure" every couple months that I'm not pregnant before I start some diet or ride a roller coaster or something.

FF>>This June....once again I haven't had a period in who knows when and had been sick with bronchitis for 5 weeks. We were planning to leave for Disney on June 6th so I decided to test just to have peace of mind before riding a bunch of roller coasters and BAM.....it says "PREGNANT." I was like ....is this even real? and...is the same thing just going to happen again? I actually felt depressed because I just "knew' it was going to happen again. I went to have blood drawn that very day and they said it was "definitely positive." I still felt numb and almost sad.

I told my husband that night but almost in an apologetic way. I felt like I was just lying to him and getting his hopes up again. I actually felt ashamed in some weird way. Like I made it all up the first time. I know that's silly but that's just the emotion I had for whatever reason. I guess I just felt really really stupid for telling everyone last time. People congratulated and asked how I was feeling for MONTHS after I "lost' the baby. It was just so embarrassing and hard.

Anyway...my husband totally cried and said that he had just prayed about it a few days earlier. We've never talked about it since the chemical preg. We had to tell the friends who went to disney with us (which was 3 other couples) so they would understand why i couldn't ride stuff and be myself. I felt pretty good at Disney. I was 7 weeks pg then (although I didn't know that at the time). I way over-did it toward the end of the trip though and had a really bad trip home.

The day after we got back from Disney I had my first appt. with u/s. I was 8 weeks.

I was surprised and happy but still felt like it wasn't real. We told family and a few close friends. Everyone was off the charts excited and pretty much all declared GIRL! We told our 7 year old son by showing him the above picture and he was surprisingly excited. I was so glad. He found a little frame in his room, framed the picture and carried it around with him.

------------

So I'm 24 weeks now. It's a girl. Her name will be Mollie Mae after Matt's Granny who use to live next door. I'm having some symptoms of preeclampsia again. I've got swelling, protein in my urine and some high BP. My heart has also been racing some and so I have to go see a cardiologist. My Aunt Lisa (who I've talked about a bunch) was actually the one who did my u/s and told us it was a girl! There are pics of that in my pregnancy journal in the Jan DDC. I may try to post some more pics here later though.

Ok..i guess that's all for now. (Til I think of something else I forgot!) ;o)
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #32  
October 5th, 2012, 01:12 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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First of all, I'm glad you followed doctor's orders and stayed in your recliner for a while. More for us to read. Seriously, I hope you're still able to take it easy and take care of yourself. Praying for a safe and healthy 16 more weeks for you and Mollie Mae. (I am in love with that name btw)

I loved reading about Denton carrying around her picture! That's so sweet!

I could write a novel in response to your posts! I loved reading all of it. I'm praying for your family, especially your mom and your brother. Your brother actually reminds me a little of my brother. (but I'll get into that when it's my turn to share )

That's such a great visual of everyone from your church "taking over" the mexican restaurant. Sounds like wonderful fellowship!

I actually can't think of any questions to ask right now. Maybe I'll come up with some later.

Thanks again for getting us started and being willing to share so much with us!
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  #33  
October 5th, 2012, 02:23 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok some more pics of the last part of my story...

Here's me coming home from the hospital with Denton (sorry it's tiny)


Here's us with the in-laws (and Matt's brother, wife and daughter)


Denton at the state park where our family always gets together:


Kids at Weds night supper with the inlaws


My garden this year:


Dent helping me pick veggies a few years ago:
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #34  
October 5th, 2012, 02:30 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,305
Here's us getting Mollie's u/s with my Aunt Lisa:



Here's my belly:


Here's Mollie's room...almost done:


Here's my Mollie
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #35  
October 5th, 2012, 08:53 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 3,537
I love belly pics, but I love baby pics more. Thanks for sharing Ginger!!
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  #36  
October 7th, 2012, 02:39 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,395
OMG, just caught up on all your wonderful stories! I feel like I know you and LOVE who you are =))) You are very inspiring, so down to earth, so honest, and an all around amazing person! You have overcome a lot and you are clearly such a beauiful asset to this world and the people around you! I loved reading all of your stories!!! Your strength is amazing!!!

I wish the best for you! You are beautiful inside and out and all off those triumphs and troubles have made you shine even brighter!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo
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[SIZE="4"] [SIZE="7"]


Lee and Erica by Jadelm, on Flickr
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  #37  
November 26th, 2012, 12:14 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
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bump for new people
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #38  
November 26th, 2012, 06:11 PM
lupti's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Ginger, you are so strong and incredibly brave!
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Heather
BFP March 2, 12 dpo
Elias Scott and Griffin Karl here on 9/19/09!
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