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Ginger (mamaginger) is "Mom of the Week"


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  #1  
September 30th, 2012, 09:59 PM
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Here is your thread! Have fun!
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  #2  
October 1st, 2012, 01:13 PM
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Since monday is about your childhood and pre-marriage life I'll ask questions about that.

What's you favorite childhood memory?
When younger what did you want to be when you grow up?
What year graduate high school?
Did you go to college? If so, what did you take?
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  #3  
October 1st, 2012, 06:11 PM
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Whoa! I almost forgot about this! Lol!

Well I was born and raised in GA. I am the middle child (the "unplanned" one). My sister and I are only 14 months apart. We have a brother who is 8/9 years younger. He's 25 now. My parents have been married close to 40 years. My mom stayed home with us and has never worked. My dad is a workaholic, alcoholic and not close to any of us, sadly. He's always been very hard to please, harsh, critical and distant. He's basically mad at the world and thinks everybody is "an idiot". I hate to say all of that but it's true. . I love my mom. Shes funny and fun and nurturing. The problem with growing up with parents like that is one is extremely authoritarian and the other is extremely permissive so we favored my mom and hated my dad but got in trouble for stuff mom allowed. :/. My dad basically made me feel like crap about myself and like I was never good enough. He didn't ever "know" me and still doesnt. Ok...enough of that....

I mentioned this in another thread but I grew up Catholic and went to private catholic school for 9 years. Even as young as 11, I was arguing with my religion teachers and finding things I disagreed with. I was invited to a Protestant youth group with a friend at 11 and LOVED it. This is where I really grew spiritually. Naturally, my dad hated it and was always making sarcastic and critical remarks about it, though he never said I had to stop going. I never felt like I fit in at the private school. It was a bunch of rich kids and cutesy little girls with big bows and designer clothes. I felt like a homeless child next to them. My mom loved us but she was NOT the kind to dress us cute or even brush our hair. I got the nickname "cousin it" in middle school for my wild, untamed hair. A neighborhood friend finally taught me how to fix my hair about 8th grade.

While I would say my dad was/is the mean one....there was an episode when I was 11 (a lot happened that year) where my mom choked me and said she was going to kill me. . My parents had both been drinking. It was a significant event in my life, I felt like I couldn't trust my parents and they were NOT my "safe place" or my protectors. I turned completely to friends and church at this time.

I was a "good" kid/teen...never did the whole drinking thing. I was a virgin when got married. But I did have a period of depression, eating disorder and self absorption. I had a few obsessions with different guys who didn't "want" me. I never felt pretty enough or good enough.

I had a couple of boyfriends in high school but met my husband at 16 and started dating him at 17. We left our church when we got together. It's a long drawn out story but basically it was "cultish" and the pastors wife and other wives in leadership decided that"god" told them who we were supposed to marry ...and it wasn't each other. So we left and have been at our current church ever since then. I guess this story will be for another day of the week.

Ok posting and typing more....
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #4  
October 1st, 2012, 06:36 PM
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I have always been pretty quiet and shy. I have always loved the outdoors. I think this love also came from my desire to be away from my parents. We had a lot of woods and a creek behind our house. I LIVED down at that creek! I climbed trees, found caves, tromped through the creek and hiked around the woods. I would pack lunches and go sit on a log across the creek and eat.

One of my favorite things about childhood was spending time with extended family (my moms side) at one of the state parks up in the mountains. I use to say I was going to be a park ranger when I grew up so I could live there. I've always loved and been close to my moms parents. They are both gone now but I learned to love cooking and baking from my grandma and I learned to love "funny" men from my Grandaddy. I also learned to be family oriented from them. They had five children and always had family get togethers and played games together and stuff. I loved being with my aunts/uncles/cousins and grandparents. My Grandma is actually the one who got me reading Christian books and magazines. (My dad was an only child to a widow and I've never known any of his extended family. His mom was staunch catholic and kind of distant, like him.)

My BFF growing up was named Sabrina. She was a significant influence in my life and was the one who invited me to her
Protestant youth group. This church changed my life and is where i met my husband. She also had a large, awesome family so
if I could be somewhere other than home, I was at her house. We lived in a military town and she was from a military family
and eventually moved away. It was good for me though because she had become a crutch for me. We still keep in touch but
she lives in CA now.

I graduated high school in 1997. I was an average student. I could've done a lot better but I was too focused on my social life.


Oh..I played the piano growing up. I took lessons for 9 years. I've always loved music. I could play things by ear as a young
child. When I started college, I thought I would major in music but that didn't go so well. Lol. Then i thought I would be a nurse but that wasn't really my calling either. I felt kinda lost in college and then met someone who was going to be a special education teacher and decided I would do that too. I graduated in 2001 with my teaching degree and taught students with learning disabilities. I still think I will go back to school again some day and do something "outdoorsy".
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16


Last edited by mamaginger; October 1st, 2012 at 06:55 PM.
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  #5  
October 1st, 2012, 06:48 PM
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I feel like I'm jumping around but I'm just typing as I think....haha

As far as sibling relationships....my sister and I were never really close. She was always so mean and hated that she had to share "her room" with me after our brother was born. She hated that I tried to borrow her clothes or that we had some of the same neighborhood and school friends since we were close in age. She did manage to find one friend who literally would not allow me to step foot in her house. So this became her best friend. I remember my sister telling me I was fat and the only reason I had boobs before her was because they were "all fat." she was mean to my brother too. I always loved my brother and took up for him but by the time he was 4 or 5, I was a preteen and he was just an annoying little brother. Lol. My sister was the athletic one and the only one my dad ever seemed proud of. My brother was the baby and the only boy so my mom seemed to favor him. Actually, several years ago at Thanksgiving, ,we got together with my moms family and my aunt had us all write something we were thankful for and then we all read them aloud. My mom wrote, "I'm thankful for Patrick." (my brother) I was so hurt. I was married at this time but still felt like the rejected one. My mom has since cried and groveled and apologized for all these things I've mentioned. I'll talk more about her another day.

Sooo...needless to say....not close to my immediate family still to this day. My church and friends are my family. I'm still very close to my aunts/uncles and miss my grandparents terribly.

Ok...I probably didn't leave anything for anybody to ask. Lol!
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16


Last edited by mamaginger; October 1st, 2012 at 06:55 PM.
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  #6  
October 1st, 2012, 08:05 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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Love reading this Ginger. I think you covered everything I will think of something.
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  #7  
October 2nd, 2012, 04:59 AM
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Ok Day 2: My Love Story

I met Matt at the youth group I mentioned earlier. He had been invited by relatives and I by friends. At first I was only 13 and he was 18 so we really had no interaction. He was coming out of a bad highschool breakup and well....I wasn't even IN high school yet! Lol. He was also doing a lot of drinking and that was something I never did. Well a few years later when I was 15-16 he kind of reappeared and had changed significantly. He had truly dedicated his life to God. I was infatuated from that point on but certain he only saw me as a kid as he was around 20-21 then. He was the "funny guy" everybody wanted to be around. He was always telling jokes and doing imitations of people. He easily stepped right into leadership after getting saved. We hung around in groups for about a year while i was secretly in love with him and everyone was trying to set him up with some other MUCH prettier girl. My only solace was that she and I were the same age.

Well that summer I had just turned 17 and had gone out of town for a week. When I came back home it was like he suddenly realized he missed me and wanted to be with
me! We kind of "secretly" were together for about a week before the rumor mill started and everyone figured it out. Idk what in
the world happened but it was like WWIII when we got together. Everyone (at this youth group turned church) went nuts.
Background....the youth group split from the church due to some issues with a new pastor and became it's own church. So it
was literally all teens and 20-something's (even the leaders). It was like a teenage Mecca because there were always tons of
people getting together to play games or just hang out. I didn't realize it at the time because I was in the middle of it but it
really turned into a breeding ground for promiscuity and inappropriate relationships. All anyone ever talked about was sex and
getting married and playing match maker. There were lots of relationship issues going on and lots of stuff happening in closets
and on youth trips. There were no rules. Guys and girls could hang out in each others rooms all night if they wanted.
Anyway.....so these people had the idea that I should either be with one of my close guy friends from high school who was in
love with me OR with my now husbands brother. He was very quiet and shy like me so I guess they thought that "worked."
And for Matt they had "chosen" this other girl he had been interested in but shed had a long, complicated relationship with
another guy and ended up pregnant at 18. So then they had told this other girl she was going to marry Matt. She even went
as far as to open a SAVINGS ACCOUNT for her future wedding to Matt. Psycho. I'm telling you...this place was psycho. So all
you know what broke loose when we got together. I suddenly went from this sweet quiet girl (in their eyes) to "a Jezebel." They
said we were "unequally yoked" and that they would give us "2 years max". Lol. Obviously they don't know that unequally yoked
means a believer and a nonbeliever. So after about a week or two, we left the church I had been at since I was 11.

We started going to our current church, where Matt had grown up and his parents still attended. We had no friends because we
had poured our whole lives into this other group of people.
We were completely in love and couldn't stand being apart for a second. When I was 19 and he was 23 we rode to the beach for the day for our 2 year "dating anniversary". We ate dinner, walked around the harbor and then on the beach. He got down on one knee in the sand, handed me the biggest, most beautiful ring I'd ever seen and asked me to marry him.

He had already asked my dads permission. He actually said my dad cried and seemed really happy. He was mainly concerned about me finishing college but was otherwise thrilled. Matt was the only guy my dad ever seemed to like or respect. I was always worried they would say he was too old for me but they never did. My mom loved him too but she loved everybody. .

We got married almost exactly a year later on July 31st at our church.
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16


Last edited by mamaginger; October 2nd, 2012 at 05:30 AM.
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  #8  
October 2nd, 2012, 05:25 AM
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It was a fairly simple wedding. I borrowed a dress. My Grandma made my veil. I bought silk flowers and had a family friend put them together. My parents literally ONLY paid for the photographer. I was a student so we just scraped up what we could. A lady at church took pity on me and donated candelabras and other decor from her business. Lol. Matt's parents paid for an awesome reception. Our wedding night was special and magical. We were both virgins and to this day that has been such a blessing. We have this part of each other that no one else has ever had or ever will have. It's like our secret. <3

We had our honeymoon at the same beach where we got engaged.

2 months before we got married I moved into an apartment Matt had leased for us. He moved in the day we got home from our honeymoon. it was so special. I went from living in a place I was really very unhappy to be married and moving in with the love of my life. It was the happiest, most exciting time of my life. I started my Junior year in college that fall and Matt had graduated with a business degree and had his first "real job".

Matt, his brother and his dad were building us a little house on family land next to his grandparents. We moved into it still
unfinished that December. We didn't have much of anything but I felt RICH! . I had my own home and I was married! Matt
had bought me my first car when I was 18 and his dad put me on their insurance because my dad wouldn't put me on his
because it was "outrageous.". :/

My in laws were and are the GREATEST. They are the loving parents who take care of me that I never felt like I had. My
mom took care of me but I never felt "treasured" and "adored". My inlaws make me feel that way. They didn't have a daughter
so I was their daughter. They lived right around on the next street from us (they are next door in the grandparents house now). We all eat supper together every Wednesday night and go on a beach trip together every year. Matt's brother married a girl
from that old church and they actually still go there. :/ it's a slight wedge between us but we are all still close and no open
conflict ever. They have 3 kids under 7. The cousins are all very close to my son. My SIL reminds me so much of those women
from that church. We've never "clicked" and I hate it. I wanted to be close. Again...no animosity at all but just not close and
probably won't ever be. We are just very different and there's no "chemistry" at all for a friendship.

The first 5 years of my marriage I was extremely distant from my family (parents/sibs) I probably only saw them on
holidays/special occasions and would go months with zero communication.

I graduated college 2 years after getting married and taught school for three years until I had my son. We celebrated our 13th anniversary this summer (16 years together).

And the rest of the story is for tomorrow....
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16


Last edited by mamaginger; October 2nd, 2012 at 05:35 AM.
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  #9  
October 2nd, 2012, 07:08 AM
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Ginger, I loved reading your story. How beautiful your marriage is, and how strong you are.
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  #10  
October 2nd, 2012, 10:09 AM
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TFS! Wow, loved reading this and glad to GTKY better!
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  #11  
October 2nd, 2012, 11:38 AM
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I'm going to post some pictures later....

I'll probably need therapy for narcissism after this. LOL!
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #12  
October 2nd, 2012, 11:57 AM
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Ginger I'm so glad you started us off!! I love reading your posts!!What a great love story!
It actually seems like you and I have a lot in common. Can't wait to read more.

When you were teaching, what age group or grade did you teach? Was it a public school? Did you enjoy it? Would you ever go back to teaching? (I mean other than your own kids ) Maybe something in outdoor education?

Where in GA are you from? Are you close to there now?
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  #13  
October 2nd, 2012, 12:54 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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I love pictures Ginger. Then I feel I know you better seeing you.

What did your husband do for a living ?
Who did you borrow the dress from ?
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  #14  
October 2nd, 2012, 06:37 PM
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1ST: have to reply to Monday/childhood....

OMG, Ginger...my heart broke but not out of pity...don't worry. It seems to me you are one tough woman with an undying spirit! Your resilience is inspiring! It's almost as if amongst all the chaos and instability, emerged this woman who can give so much of herself and has such a good grasp on what is important. I'm sorry you had some tough times but I must say that hearing of you even recognizing when something was off, is impressive, especially because you were so young. We actually have a lot of similarities! I will say, as a boobless girl lol, your sister was def' jealous of that but what a mean thing to say. In all honesty, when I first saw your pic I immediately thought you were very pretty! Sooo....all those school age dopes were well; dopes.

I can't believe your mom said that. As a psych major is sends red flags to me. I'm thinking that perhaps Patrick was the "safe guy" in the house when maybe your dad couldn't be. I doubt your mom loved you less (hugs) but perhaps Patrick fulfilled/fulfills something in her that can only be done by him because he is the boy. As for your dad, he is the one missing out. So sad for him! HUGS....keep the stories coming...soo amazing you are!!!!!!!!
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  #15  
October 2nd, 2012, 06:44 PM
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Now, the second response..lol on your amazing love story

AGAIN, WOW! How magical!! It just goes to show you that truly us humand who try to interpret and play GOD, know nothing. you followed your heart and your souls and look where it led you!!!!!!!! There is no doubt in my mind, even though I don't really know you, that your husband saw how beautiful you were inside and out! Your story is the type of love story that you will tell to your grandkids and they will all smile and hope that their's is just like that. You two have been through some crazy roads but you are meant for one another and you deserve this WONDERFUL life and more!!!! BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!

xoxo
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  #16  
October 2nd, 2012, 06:46 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok...pictures from childhood to marriage...

Here's me and my sister looking HOTTT with our awesome hair! LOL



Me and my BFF Sabrina (who invited me to her youth group when I was 11)




Ok this one is my sister and her (now) husband, my little brother in the front, my mom in the back beside me and my grandparents and "fav" aunt...and some cousins



Ok here's my immediate family. There's pictures of us looking happier but I feel like this one really captures the essence. lol

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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #17  
October 2nd, 2012, 06:54 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My wonderful in-laws:



Me, Matt and my lil brother at my high school graduation:



Ok, wedding pic: on the left is Karen (who took out the savings account to marry matt...lol...obviously, we remained friends), Sabrina again, my sister, my good friend from catholic school and the same little girl cousins from the earlier pic:



I hope this saves rotated...if not...sorry if it's sideways...this is the way our house looked when we moved in. Matt, my BIL and FIL built it. We still live in it today...although it looks much different now!



Our first Christmas in our new house:

__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #18  
October 2nd, 2012, 07:06 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamma_anna View Post
Ginger I'm so glad you started us off!! I love reading your posts!!What a great love story!
It actually seems like you and I have a lot in common. Can't wait to read more.

When you were teaching, what age group or grade did you teach? Was it a public school? Did you enjoy it? Would you ever go back to teaching? (I mean other than your own kids ) Maybe something in outdoor education?

Where in GA are you from? Are you close to there now?
I taught middle grades (mostly 6th) students with LD in a public school. I loved it and them but it was SO consuming. Special Ed requires so much more time and paperwork and heartache. I poured myself completely into it when I was childless but after I had my son I just couldn't do it anymore. I do see myself teaching kids in the woods Idk what exactly it would be but I can visualize it.

I'm from Augusta and yes, I'm still very close by.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Countrymom4 View Post
I love pictures Ginger. Then I feel I know you better seeing you.

What did your husband do for a living ?
Who did you borrow the dress from ?
Poor Matt...he's had a lot of jobs. LOL He's done a lot of management in different manufacturing facilities....he tried being a financial advisor....now he's a "Procurement Engineer" for a DOE facility. He basically is a "buyer." He's been there 3 years now and just got hired permanently 2 weeks ago. He was just a contractor before. So now we have good insurance just in time for this baby!

I borrowed the dress from a college friend. I had tried on dresses and took a picture of the dress I loved but it was $600 so I knew I couldn't have it. The friend said "That's MY dress!!" So she let me borrow it for free!
__________________
~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #19  
October 3rd, 2012, 08:10 AM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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LOVE the PICS Ginger !!!!
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  #20  
October 3rd, 2012, 08:47 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sitting at the Drs office so this may take multiple posts if i get called back....

Day 3: post marriage and kids

My perfect plan was to be married 5 years, have a child and go back to working part time as a teacher. I stopped the pill and got pregnant the very next month. I "knew" that this baby was a boy and his name would be Denton, after my Grandaddy (pictured above).

I was a nervous pregnant person, constantly worried something was wrong. I did develop preeclampsia at the end and delivered 4 weeks early but he was perfectly healthy.

When I got pregnant I realized things had to change with my parents. I didn't want there to be this great distance between Denton and one set of his grandparents. I knew he would adore Matt's parents and that they would be close by and probably see him almost every day. I decided to write my mom a letter in January of 2005. (I was due in April.) I addressed the things she had done that hurt me ONLY in the past 5 years since I'd been married. I didn't even get into childhood stuff. I mentioned the Thankful paper where she wrote that she was thankful only for my brother. I mentioned that we had never once been invited over for a meal or any other event besides Christmas in 5 years. (they are only 15 mins away). I mentioned some other things said and done that I can't even really remember right this second. I also mentioned that I didn't like the distance and the disconnect and that I wanted my child to know and be close to his grandparents. Anyway, I gave her the letter and she
immediately wanted to meet to talk about it. She was SICK over it. She cried and apologized for everything. She even brought up the choking incident herself from when I was 11. She took responsibility for everything and didn't blame me once or make excuses. It was SO validating and such a relief!
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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