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I think I have to stop living my little fairytale


Forum: Christian Parenting

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  #1  
October 12th, 2012, 07:48 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Married dh as a Jew, though started dating him as a Catholic. (He is Jewish by culture though doesn't believe in the faith.) Since then I have been saved. I have spent a lot of time trying to engage with him in convos that I think could plant the seed or maybe open his eyes with the grace of the Holy spirit and it is just not happening. I know it hasn't been that long and I know that things happen in GOD's time but sometimes people just don't get saved =( I know I'm being impatient but it is so hard when it is someone so close to you and someone you love so much. He simply thinks that believing in the literal interpretation of the bible is as crazy as believing that the Hollocaust didn't happen. He won't even entertain it persay, bc he just doesn't even think it is anything that needs to be considered.

....and so....I continue to pray every day. I pray for so many reasons. I pray bc I want my family to be united in faith and in values that have now emerged in myself. I pray bc I love my dh and know that being a doctor has shown him many things that could potentially make someone feel godless.

He is much different than me. Opposites attract. I am a very emotional person who is driven by her heart while he is driven by his head and yet, underneath is a softy! (though not many people get to see it but it is my favorite side of him

I know I'm preaching at him but it's hard not to when you want it so bad....even for my kids. He won't even consider homeschool and feels extremely strongly against it bc he sees is at something "faith driven." As long as he perceives it this way, he will be this objected to it. He is a negotiable person but some things are non-negotiable, as he says. I don't want my babies thrown into a system away from me from 5 on. I don't think parents that do this are less of parents but for me, I just don't want to give up this time with them. I don't want them sucked into a system and exposed to designer brands, sex, and feeling that they need to keep up with the Jones' to be worth something.

So much is riding on this and I am in need of prayers. This is certainly something that has got to come from GOD bc there is no way I will ever be enough to make this happen.

It's just scary bc again, he has free will and not everyone will be saved. It's hard having so many intelligent nay sayers in my family and in my surroundings. I am truly the odd one out and it is hard when you have a low self confidence to begin with. I start to feel that maybe I'm the crazy one believing in something I want to be true.

But then.......there is JESUS. Bless him! I have been blessed with having a disposition to accept things greater than me and to not really think that anything beyond us is magical, but more or less, just well, beyond us. My dh, as a complete intellect, and is not this way. My parents were hippies, free-spirits...........it's a wonder I have found this route but I'm glad I did.

Although I have had my own two dd's in addition to my amazing two "step" kids, I'm only almost 30 and my whole life since I was literally 5, has revolved around being a mom. I daydreamed about my children rather than my wedding day. It's devestating to think it could be over. I knew getting into this marriage that 1, 2 at most was the deal. What was i thinking? I was so excited and happy to be out of a relationship with someone that was draining and unfulfilling, that I agreed to the terms. As "happy" as dh sort of was, he was never one of those doting fathers-to-be so I think a part of me has always felt incomplete with my pregnancy experiences. I do want more...........=(* If only he could see that GOD is the giver of life and that more children are a blessing not a burden.
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Last edited by jeweluv; October 12th, 2012 at 07:57 PM.
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  #2  
October 12th, 2012, 08:16 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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btw...my fairytale being that my dh gets saved, is receptive, we all live a prayerful and united life together/supporting one another with GOD as our focal point.
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  #3  
October 13th, 2012, 07:45 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It doesn't have to be a fairytale. There are many promises given by God to his people in the Bible and they had to wait YEARS for them. I know we hate waiting and it's discouraging but it doesn't mean it will never happen. God wants him to change even more than you do. Just keep praying, keep being an example and even if he's not saved by the time your oldest is to start 5k, maybe God will have at least softened his heart to homeschool. I know there are non-religious homeschooling parents. (Not that you would be one) You could google this and just show him that home school isn't just all a bunch of christians if that would help him see the value OUTSIDE of christianity.
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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #4  
October 13th, 2012, 06:55 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks. I had to remind myself tonight that it really is in GOD's time. I had a rough day. DH basically confirmed that he does not want anymore kids and although he has said this before, at times he has been sort of willing. I think I tried to push it today because I was having a hard time waiting on the LORD and wondering if in the end, not only would dh not be saved, but my child bearing years would be over.

I pushed it, had an upsetting day, and need to be more patient and trusting....
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