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Erica is "Mom of th week"


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  #21  
October 25th, 2012, 07:47 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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whoops..lol, meant to include this family shot as opposed to the other one [IMG][/IMG]

I have some pics of my biological father and my sister who I met for the first time, 2 years ago. How it happened was kind of surreal. I have to find the pics though.
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Lee and Erica by Jadelm, on Flickr
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  #22  
October 25th, 2012, 08:03 PM
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okay, the 3rd girl in from the left is my half sister from my father who left me. I found her on FB and knew she was the ONE bc I saw my face in her face....this was the pic.


this is my biological father


This is my mom and dad


This is my mom, dad, brother, Lee, me and Evyn on my first Mother's day at my parents house


This is my VERY special brother...we have always been super close and he has always been a source of happiness, reason, and peace in my life. Bless him!




...............okay family tree covered
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  #23  
October 25th, 2012, 08:44 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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Love the story and the pic
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  #24  
October 25th, 2012, 10:09 PM
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Awe I love the pics! You are so pretty!!! Yes, you are def a brunette! so where's the pictures of the BFF??!
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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #25  
October 27th, 2012, 06:47 PM
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Thanks guys...yeah lol, what was I thinking ginger? I'm searching for a photo of me and my bff now...I lost a lot of photos when are other computer crashed.

So, sorry for going MIA a bit during the last day or so. I had some tough days. I had some more issues with Lee. sometimes he just says things that are disrespectful and hurtful and I feel like I have no control. He is remorceful after but it still hurts. For instance, I had to process a wedding photo shoot yesterday and Anna had a dirty diaper....when I asked him to change it (mind you he has maybe changed 10 of her diapers ever) he said it was the last diaper he was ever changing of hers. I felt so hurt because before we were even married I was changing my step-son's diapers at age 23. I woke up with my future step-daughter at 3am bc she had a fever and ran out to a 24 hour drug store to get her tylenol. We were only dating then. sometimes I feel that even though he doid not necessarily want more children, he kind of has to suck it up because I've done a lot. There was more to the story but it fueled my anxiety which fueled my obsessions. Last night I had a full panic attack and was convinced I had that brain tumor. I went for the MRI today which showed no brain tumor. However, he said that I embarass him all the time in front of his collegues. Mind you, the last doctor visit I had was 1 1/2 ago when I was having some legit gastro problems. I am ALWAYS polite and gracious and never demanding. He also said my dad was prob embarrassed by me too (dad is a sono tech at an imaging center where ive had tests too)....it hurt....it really hurt. I feel low enough about myself bc I can't always conquer my OCD. I'm embarassed half the time and yet I sometimes have to give in bc I start to really believe I am dying and that I'm going to have to say goodbye to my kids. It feels so real and sad and I can only bare it for so long.

Anyway......I'm not sure what else to share so I will just share a select few things.

Photography is my absolute passion! It has been the only thing that has EVER made me stay in the moment.

I love children and animals! I worked with children for 10 years before getting pregnant. Some of these kids were from low income areas, some with special needs, and just early childhood and afterschool programs. I have my BA...a dual degree in psych and early education. I absolutely LOVE school....moreso College (hated highschool...bad time)

My biggest dreams have always been to be a mom. I love people and really enjoy life and others; despite my struggles. I sometimes have a hard time understanding why anyone has to be mean or judgemental.

My Evyn pregnancy: prior to getting pregnant I obsessed, of course, of being able to conceive. Well, we started trying right away after we got married on May 31st. I was literally taking pregnancy tests by June 7th. A week prior to when my period was due I had Lee take my blood as a blood test should show pregnancy by then. It was a Wednesday and it came out negative. I was crushed...I know it had only been one month but it was a month of only one thought 24 hours a day and the thought of another 30 days or more of that scared me. I had been talking about it with so many people. That night I went to sleep and had the craziest dream! My grandma and Poppie were driving the car and I was in the backseat. My Grandma (who has passed away years ago) said to me in the way she always talked to me "Erica, if you would just keep your mouth shut about all this preg stuff and stop talking about it, i promise you will be pregnant and when you are, you will have a girl and you must promise me to name her after me." Her name was Juliette. I woke up and did as "she" said. The following Tuesday came and no period....I kept quiet....all the way til Thursday when I was 2 days late ....I took a test and it said PREGNANT! I'll never forget that feeling. I felt elated and well, there really are no words. I had been waiting for this since I was 6! Seconds later, fear set it...haha...the worries of course. I spotted frequently with Evyn and they took my blood and said I had terribly low progesterone and this didn't sound like a viable pregnancy. I asked if they could put me on some progesterone and they finally agreed. My levels went up, the bleeding stopped..........and I went on to my have my little Evyn. Meanwhile, wierd enough....two days after I found out I was preg, one of my 4yr old students came up to me, his name was James, and started tickling my belly. I said "James, what are you doing?" He said "tickling the baby in your belly." I said "James, how do you know there is a baby in there." (I had told no one and was tiny)...he said "because I can see it." I said, joking "well, is it a boy or a girl?" he said very matter-of-fact "a girl"...and walked away. Weird right?

I had to practically beg to have Anna. This is awful but Lee really wanted boy and the only way he would agree to have another was if we went to some specialist who would attempt to do this sperm sorting thing. Although I didn't agree, I was willing to do anything to have another baby. Turns out, it was too stressful for him and we went all natural. THANK GOD BECAUSE NOW I HAVE MY PERFECT ANNA LEE FAITH! At the time I was pregnant with her I was still wearing my Jewish star ring to show solidarity with my husband; it felt wrong though. At 51/2 weeks I started spotting and went to the ER. My bff, Denae met me there. At this point we never expected to see a heartbeat bc it was soo early. As they wheeled me up to the sono room I took off that ring, gave it to the LORD, took the leap of faith and that was the beginning to soooo much more! My first trimester screening showed an elevate risk for Down syndrome which led me to get a CVS (which could be done at 13 weeks as opposed to an amnio at 16) The only risk was that since the sample they got was from the placenta, that the chromosomes might not be reflective of the baby; but 99% of the time they are. I get the call.........it shows no Down syndrome but some chormosomal mosaisicm and something called Tetroploidy which is incompatable with life. They were not worried bc they said if this were the case, my body would have terminated the pregnancy but Anna could still have some mosaisicm. I had to get the amnio now. I did...and all was perfect. The entire time I had been dreaming of naming her middle name Faith bc that was the theme of my pregnany to me. No one knew this. I never thought Lee would agree bc well, you gals know, he hates that stuff. One night while all of us were sitting around Lee asked Jackie, who was 10, what she thought the middle name should be and she said "Faith." (this is NOT LIKE JACKIE) I almost fell over!!!!!! I hadn't told anyone. Then...Lee even said "PERFECT, I NEVER HAD FAITH AND NOW I WILL." that was such a testimony to me!!!!!! She has always been such a little angel and sense of peace in my life. she taught me what Romans 5 sayd " trouble worketh patience and patience workith hope."......(I think that is right..)

My hopes and dreams are for my husband to be saved and for us to raise our family with the LORD as our center. I pray that I can homeschool my children and that over time my faith will grow so strong, that my OCD will have less and less power over me. I hope to bring the LORD to others. I would love if my photography business did really well because it is something that makes me feel good about myself. As the years go on I would love to do volunteer work at shelters or at mental health hospitals. If it were up to me, Thanksgiving at my house would be full of lots of people in need of a good meal. My husband is very different then me and I pray that his heart softens. It's funny because he is like an egg bc he really is soft on the inside. He has his own past which I think has contributed to his ways of thinking.

PRAISE OUR LORD! Thank you gals for taking the time to get to know me better! You are all in my prayers for different reasons! xoxoxo
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  #26  
October 28th, 2012, 07:58 AM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
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Oh Erica, that is soooo moving about the name faith...it brought a tear to my eye.

How old are the girls ?
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  #27  
October 28th, 2012, 07:37 PM
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It meant so much to me, Crystal! My oldest is 11, then there is Drew who is 9 (they are my children by love not blood) ...then there is Evyn who is 3 1/2 and Anna who is 18 momnths old.
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  #28  
October 28th, 2012, 08:59 PM
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Love your story and I hope all of your prayers/hopes come true....I agree with you in prayer for those things.
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #29  
October 28th, 2012, 09:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeweluv View Post
Mama_anna.....CBT has worked womders for so many....how does Ellie like it?
It's really worked wonders for her! For our whole family really. It took us a while to find a therapist that really knows how to work with young children but I'm so glad we kept looking because she is amazing with Ellie. She uses a lot of art and play therapy too which has been a real blessing.

Okay.... now back to you Erica. I have so LOVED reading your posts! You are so strong! You have such a generous heart!
I loved reading about the virtual scrapbook you did with your step-kids. What a cool idea!! All four of your kids are so blessed to have you as a mother.
I love your pictures too!

Thanks for sharing so much with us this week! Praying for you every day Erica.
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  #30  
November 26th, 2012, 01:10 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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bump for new people
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~ Ginger



For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #31  
November 26th, 2012, 07:33 PM
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Love your story- the stories of your pregnancies gave me chills.
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Heather
BFP March 2, 12 dpo
Elias Scott and Griffin Karl here on 9/19/09!
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