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A trying time....trying to stay strong in my faith


Forum: Christian Parenting

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  • 1 Post By mamaginger
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  #1  
December 30th, 2012, 09:05 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,395
We are supposed to "train up our children so that they may never depart" and yet obey our husbands in respect as long as it doesn't mean eliminating the LORD. My husband has asked me to do this.

I know I have come to you ladies before with pleas for prayers but yet, here I am AGAIN. My soul is weak right now. Evyn asked me what Christmas was about a week ago and I said well Mommy and Daddy believe different things. Mommy believes that it is GOD'S son's birthday who came here to teach us about GOD and show us all the good. Daddy does not believe this to be true and this is oaky and when you get older ou can decide for youself. On CHRISTMAS, Evyn raced over to DH and said "TODAY IS GOD'S SON'S BIRTHDAY!" I would never tell her to keep a secret because 1. it is wrong to keep secrets from your parents and divide and 2. she should never be ashmed of her GOD.

Well, he left it alone til yesterday......my 30th birthday =( Somehow, he came upon a program that was talking about flaws in the bible or such and pointed it out to me. I told him I was willing to watch if he was willing to hear my reply. At which point he said he did not care about anything I had to say nor did he want to listen. I said okay and that in return, I would not watch this episode. Somehow he launched into a whole thing of how embarassing my faith is to him. It is so embarassing that I gave my dad this book, that at times I speak of the LORD, and that I have even mentioned, "brainwashed" our children with this. He even went as far as to say I was an embrassment which was SO PAINFUL. I ended up taking the baby and going to a hotel because I needed to remove myself.

After a few hours and some talks I returned home. We spoke and he as always, admitted to running his mouth and saying things in a way he didn't intend. He really is working on his communication but it is a loooooonnnnnnngggg road and effort. I am trying to be patient. He explained he is embarassed by my actions not by me and said when the children are older he has no problem with me sharing my faith but now he feels I am slighting them. I told him that we celebrate Hanukkah and honor his beliefs and he ACTUALLY agreed to not do ANY OF THAT ANYMORE....not exactly what I was going for. =(

Finally I told him that there was no way I could or would hide this from my kids but I would always be respectful of him. I told him if for nothing else, we needed to teach tolerance to our children...........seeing that daddy and mommy could disagree and yet still love and respect one another is a huge lesson! We smoothed things out today but i do fear his hurtful words when he gets mad. He has agreed to go to a counselor. To be honest, this scares me that we might even need this, not to mention, in all honesty...I worry about outside faith sources of advice. I truly love this man and I KNOW HIS heart...he has such a warmness and love to him but at times his guard goes up, and he becomes arrogant. He has been sort of raised this way....long story...and I know these are demons from his past. It is just hard to balance this all....to have such different values.

I know I shouldn't be spoken to in a certain manner regardless of whether or not he agrees with me. I also explained to him that his feelings are valid but he needs to approach me with them in a different manner. He agrees...................until the heat of the moment.

I have decided that I am going to change my reactions. What do you ladies think? Instead of firing off some sort of response that valdiates why I believe what I do, I am going to turn the other cheek. I am only going to respond with love. I won't be a doormat...but I also will not engage.

I'm not sure what to do in regards to teaching my children things. As it is, I am already discreet. I ask that you pray for my family and that if for some reason we can't unite in faith, we can find peace. I also fear and doubt...."What if I'm wrong about "all this" and I am the fool. I respond to myself with, "well, let's say you are you still don't deserve to be talked to this way."

I didn't want to spend my 30th birthday the way I did and it hurt knowing that the person who ruined it was my husband.

Stange enough, as I sat in the hotel room, regretting I forgot to pack my bible, I remembered most hotels have one. I opened it up...praying, begging for CHRIST to show me something/anything he wanted me to know. I flipped around....nothing jumped out and I swear 5 minutes into doing this, a piece of paper fell out!!!! Someone had written some sort of prayer I think...At the top is said "Saint Michael...the archangel" and then this person wrote out his/her own prayer...not official. I then found a tabbed page...HEBREWS 12, read it....and later wondered and sort of relaized of it's significance. Do you think in anyway this has meaning in my situation?

This is hard. CHRIST endured so much rejection and mocking and I know this may be something I have to endure. I guess it is just disappointing to think it is something I will have to endure with my parnter in life and my family.

Signed,
Emotionally drained but trying to stay stong............"hope dies last"...I've always said that....I have ounces of hope left.......
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Last edited by jeweluv; December 30th, 2012 at 09:11 PM.
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  #2  
December 30th, 2012, 09:58 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Aww... I hate that happened at all but especially on your birthday. :*( I definitely believe from Hebrews 12 you can personally take "run the race with endurance" and "do not grow weary or faint hearted" as God speaking to you. Isn't that what you need to hear right now?

Yes, we do honor/respect our husbands but we honor God and his commands first. God would never require that we disobey or deny him in order to "honor" our spouse's wishes. If the girls want to ask Lee what he believes then he can tell them but if they ask YOU....you can tell them as well. You told Evyn that her daddy didn't agree and he had a chance to tell her what he thought but he chose to berate you instead. I agree with you trying a new approach with him but I do think you need to discuss that Evyn is old enough to ask life questions and you aren't going to just play dumb but you will answer based on what you believe and if he wants to go talk to her about his answer then he's free to do that. When Denton asks me questions I tell him what other people believe as well. He knows some people don't believe in God and some believe the earth is millions of years old...etc. Hes learned a little about Hinduism & Buddhism in homeschool this year. Granted...he's a few years older than Evyn so you may have to wait until she's old enough to understand some things.

Just keep praying, keep reading and keep being a "lighthouse" for your family. Don't give up. They need you!
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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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  #3  
December 31st, 2012, 07:42 AM
Buggymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really believe God was trying to comfort you when you opened up the bible! He doesn't want you to give up. Keep setting an example the best way you can...it's all you can do right now.

When your children are older they will ask even more questions. I've talked to Kayley about the Jewish faith a bit because she has an American Girl Doll who is Jewish. She understands that not everyone believes Jesus Christ is the son of God. I really think your children will get a well rounded view of things with you talking to them. I do think you are right that you will have to change your approach with your hubby as his reaction isn't what you want when you are trying to talk to him. What you do want is your children seeing you getting along in harmony together despite your differences of faith. You will be your childrens main teacher when it comes to faith since you communicate with more grace...they will listen.

I am so sorry he is giving you such a hard time about it! He really needs to stop persecuting you for your faith and agree to disagree if anything. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers. Listen to the message God gave you. That really gives me the chills because Hebrews 12 was meant for you at that time!
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  #4  
January 1st, 2013, 09:51 AM
Orangebrittainy's Avatar Queen of Randomocity
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Hugs. I know it is hard to be strong in faith when your spouse is not. Just continue serving. The Bible actually teaches what to do when your spouse is not saved... I believe its in 1 corinthians. Here is an article from Focus on the family that may help. What advice do you have for an "unequally yoked" marriage?
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  #5  
January 1st, 2013, 06:13 PM
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I really feel Hebrews 12 was a message from God.

Going back to what I told you in an earlier post, be an example. I have been praying for you from the very first post I came across from you. Don't let Satan put any doubts in your mind and make you question your faith. When you feel those doubts creep in and feel your burdens are so great, say aloud, 'I'm not going to tell God how big my problems are BUT RATHER tell the devil and your problems how big your GOD is! Keep calling out to Him as you have been doing. He already answered one of your prayers right there in the hotel room. It was no coincidence that a paper fell out of the Bible and that the very chapter with encouraging words which you needed to hear just happened to have been tabbed.

Take comfort that God heard you cry that night. And take comfort that you have people praying for you. There is power in prayer!

I pray God will give you the right words to say to your husband.
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Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
'Blessings' by Laura Story (What if trials of this life, are your mercies in disguise)
Glorious Ruins
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  #6  
January 3rd, 2013, 10:10 AM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Just wanted to give my sincere thanks for all your sincere thoughts, prayers, and advice. It means the world to me. Having your support is seriously so helpful and comforting. I always have you ladies in my prayers.....bless you all.....xoxoxoxo
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