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We recently moved to a new town and have been wanting to join a new church. We are pretty open to where we go as far as Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist, etc. We tried one out this morning for the first time. It happened to be a non-denominational church. It was fine in the beginning. We took Natalie to the day care. She was having fun. They hand out pagers so they can get ahold of you if they need to. About twenty min. into the service we were paged. She started screaming in fear. She was hysterical. We have not left her that much with other people at all. We stopped going to church in our old town because she threw a fit each time we would take her to the daycare and she is not willing to sit still during the service. What do we do? We want to get involved in a church but this is frustrating. When we went and picked her up I noticed that she had a "dirty" diaper. And I think that is what upset her. She has gotten into the phase of not letting ANYONE change her but Mom and Dad. Which is no big deal most of the time because we live nowhere around family due to the Navy. But in this circumstance I think she was having fun playing until she pooped and then realized we were around to change her. What are your thoughts? Has anyone else had trouble with the daycare? I looked up a church in our area online that offers a room with a window that parents can take their kids into and still hear the service but they are quiet for the other people. We will probably go there next week. I'm even thinking of signing her up for a short preschool program. Maybe to get her used to being away from me. Help!!! Thanks!
Kathryn, mom of Natalie and Olivia!
Man, can I ever relate to what you're going through. I'm sorry to say that you're just going to have to wait out this phase. My dd STILL sometimes cries when I leave her in the nursery for Sunday School (she's 2) and she has been in there since she was born. I think it would be easier for her if they had the same person in there each Sunday, but unfortunately, they rotate 4 different people in there. My dh and I both teach Sunday School, so there is no just not going. I think it is just hard on them when they are with you 24 hours a day and then you suddenly aren't there. I know it's so hard, but just keep trying. My niece is now 3 and will just barely go in the nursery during church service. I just made my sister keep trying to take her in there and she finally saw that it wasn't so bad---actually kind of fun! Also, have you thought have letting your dd take something with her from home---such as a toy, blanket, picture of you and dh----so she won't feel so alone? Mine does better if I let her take something from home. Also, really talk the daycare up to her. Tell her it's so much fun to get to play with the other kids and Mommy and Daddy will be back very soon. Talk about this with her before you get to church so she will be prepared. It will get better, I promise. Just stick with it---it will be so worth it for you to get to attend church again.
Thanks for your help!! I just don't get it. Natalie is the most outgoing kid I've ever seen. She LOVES people and kids and enjoys going out of the house all the time. But when we leave her she will be fine at first and then literally FREAK out. She hyperventilates after crying so hard. This is NOT normal for her. It's only happened when we try to go to church. Of course, we aren't leaving her in a day care setting for any other reason so that's not really fair to say. Oh well, we will try this other church next week and maybe after going a couple of times and staying with us in that quiet room she will get more comfortable. We will keep trying though.
Kathryn, mom of Natalie and Olivia!
I would like to pop in and just say that this is a tough age for kids. My son is going through a small amount of this in the church that we have been attending since before his birth. The childrens' pastor is one of my best friends and I know she teaches soundly, and that Ayden likes her, but it is the first inital thought of me leaving that freaks him out. Some days I just bring him back up into the sanctuary and let him play while the sermon is going on as long as he is not being disruptive. I have bought him a lunch bag with a strap on it and have been collecting lil toys from Happy meals and such from rummage sales and we fill it before church with his toys and a container of crackers and generally he is happy as a clam....
BUT I also wanted to mention that if this is a new church, and she is responding this way, dont discredit the fact that children are much more spiritually intune then we are. She may be sensing that something is off, they may not be meant to be in the nursery area and are not okay with kids and so forth. Whenever we visit a church if Ayden is not welcome to sit in the sermon part of the service, I will sit in the nursery with him because I do not want my child taught anything but the truth, and I am very cautious about who I leave him with. Unfortunately these days there are wolves planted right here in our congregations and our kids can be hurt because we feel safe because it is at a church and they should be safe....its not always the case. So if you do go back and she continues to freak....check into what it could be. Ask to stay with her during one service to help her transition and if they say no, ask why....and insist that this is the only way that she will be okay.....Just watch her, she will tell you whether or not something struck her spirit funny just by watching her behavior
My daughter is very social too, but you have to realize that they don't love anyone like they love you! In a way, that should make you feel good that you're a good mommy. I hope next Sunday is better at the new church. Let us know how it goes!
I am sorry to hear that you had such a hard time!! My advice would be to slowly wean her into the nursery. Maybe leave her for 15 minutes at a time or so until she becomes used to the other kids and the helpers. Also, it might be a good idea to try and see if you can find a play group of some kind (either at the church or in the community) so she gets used to playing with others and having others care for her and change her. It will make things go a lot more smoothly, I am sure!! Praying things will be better next week so you can get to church and be involved!